do you really believe in true love?

In My Humble Opinion
1

anymore, i’m beginning to believe you just have to luck onto a decent person and just try like hell to make the relationship work. love, attachment, attraction, whatever you call it is a piece of the puzzle, but it’s not some unstoppable force that makes things work out or go down the tubes.

my recent ex-girlfriend has this quaint notion that there’s one person in the world “made” for you. apparently it wasn’t me. that’s a cute idea, but i can’t fathom how someone could say it with a straight face. it’s a crap shoot out there, and the house has the game rigged.

2

Yes and no. I don’t believe there’s only one person in the world for someone. There are probably lots of people out there who could make me happy over the long term. I don’t mean that facetiously, but I bet it’s so.

That said, I do believe in true love. I can just see it on the faces of some of the couples I know. There’s one couple in particular that’s been married for almost 40 years; they still adore each other. Sometimes they really annoy each other, too; true love still means work, at least to me. But their love is deep enough and wide enough to sustain them through the rough times.

Mrs. Furthur

3

If it doesn’t exist, I’m living with the most reasonable facsimile of it. I went 37 years without finding out what love was, and then my wife came into my life completely out of the blue. Once we got to know each other, I could just tell she was the one, and she felt the same about me. Neither one of us had to be talked into it. There has been no struggling, no fighting, no arguing, no crying, no raised voices or slammed doors. Just the peace and security of the knowledge that we were right for and about each other. She was the kind of woman I was waiting for. I left my country and everything behind to come here for the honor of being her husband. In 4 months we will have been married for 7 years.

So don’t give up, and don’t give me that look, either! It can happen. I know it can.

4

I completely believe in “true love”. I am lucky enough to be married to the most wonderful man in the entire world.

Is he perfect? No. Is he perfect for me? A resounding YES! Is he the only man in the world that I could love? I can’t imagine my life with anyone else but I would like to think that if something happened to him, I would be fortunate enough to find that love again.

The word “adore” in the previous post really stuck me as the main difference between us and other couples we know. We truely adore each other.

We have a give/give relationship. Of course it’s work but it you truely want to please your partner, it’s worth every bit of it.

Don’t give up hope or just “settle”. When it’s right, you’ll know it.

5

Oh, Fishbicycle, I’ve seen your posts about your wife many times. I know your early years were not pleasant, and your wife has helped you and nurtured you and I believe that you love her very much. I’m always so touched when I read how you feel about her.

As to the OP, I do believe in True Love, but I don’t believe you can only have that with one person. One person at a time, maybe.

6

Skeptic coming into the thread…

Even if true love ™ exists… I feel the idea itself creates some barriers to normal relationships that might eventually become something more. I think some people just need so badly to fall in love that they mess things up too.

7

Thanks! That’s very sweet of you. Yeah, my wife is the best thing for me, ever, and it was completely worth it to ditch the past and come here if she was going to be in my future.

8

I am prepared to admit the possibility that true love may exist for some people, based on anecdotal evidence, both here on the SDMB and among my friends. I believe that it is rare.

I do not believe that there is only “one person” out there who will “complete” each of us.

I suspect that there are there are many people who are somewhat compatible to each of us, some people who are fairly compatible, and a few who are mostly compatible. The more compatible someone is, the less work is required to make the relationship work.

9

What Sunspace said.

10

I believe in true love.

What I don’t get is why it has to be “forever”.

People are constantly changing and growing. So if you meet someone at the age of 25, there’s now law that dictates you two will grow in the same way by the time you’re 35.

Which in opinion doesn’t mean the love two people shared when they were younger, wasn’t “True love.”

11

No. I believe in love but not true love, love at first sight, or any other cliché of that sort and basically believe the same thing **Sunspace **does.

12

I believe it happens, but very, very rarely. I do not personally know anyone who has “true love” with their spouse/partner/SO. My definition of “true love” is “this person is the most important person in my life and always will be, no matter what happens.”

I don’t consider “there’s only one person for everyone” to be a part of my definition of “true love.” I think the “one soulmate” idea is not only wrong but dangerous.

13

Yes, for other people.

14

I don’t believe in true love. In fact, I generally think that it’s used as an excuse or an out by people who are a bit lazy about their relationships.

I believe falling in love is an act of will. If I don’t permit it to happen, it won’t. If I’m married and fall in love with someone else, it’s because I let that happen, not because that person is my true love.

So, I reject pretty much all of the notions about romantic love that are out there. I reject the notion that there’s a soulmate for everyone. I reject the notion that I might decide to marry and then find my one true love. I reject the idea of love at first sight. I reject the idea that there is some sort of special feeling that will strike right away if the relationship is meant to be. I reject the idea that love can’t grow slowly instead of appearing suddenly. And I reject the idea that a person can’t be happy in a relationship unless they are suffering from a major obsessive crush on their partner.

15

Yes, I believe in true love, but not that there exists a “one and only” person. I was deeply in love with my ex when we married and that lasted several years until we got to the point where life had changed both of us enough that we weren’t the same two who’d married.

My current marriage is based on mutual true love but it couldn’t have happened 20 years earlier. If we’d met in our 20’s neither of us would have given the other the time of day. But in our 40’s we made a wonderful match and I still marvel at how well we fit together.

As Mickey & Sylvia once said “Love is strange”.

16

everyone pulls that cliche out, “things happen for a reason” and “you’ll know when you find the right person.” sure. shit happens. and you’ll know it’s the right person when you’re tired of being single, afraid you’ll always be alone, or, in the absolute best scenario, they’re “good enough.”

i see all these people in HORRIBLE relationships, and they’re all gushing about their love at first sight and true love and all that shit. stop kidding yourself.

sure, some people are compatible, and their relationships are great. but it’s not common. and i don’t think there’s anything magic that sustains them, it’s just an innate commonality and the will to stay together.

17

True Love = Magic?

What is your definition, anyway?

18

Mrs. Six was a smart, beautiful, talented, hard-working, traditionally feminine 20 year old nursing student when we met. She had her pick of the guys, the jocks, the brains, the student politics studs, half the professors, all of the tall blonde and handsome guys she’d wanted. She never had to pay for a dinner unless she wanted to; there was always some man ready and willing to do so for her just for the privilege of spending time with her. She was soon to have her choice of a variety of young doctors when she graduated with her nursing degree. Men turned to look when she entered the room, and their stares lingered. She loved the attention she got, and wasn’t shy about dressing to get it.

I was a skinny, not-so-tall, painfully shy, somewhat androgynous geek. And somehow, she saw something in me that wasn’t there in the guys she dated.

She chose me.

When she found out I was a virgin at the age of 27 and liked to wear women’s clothes, she stayed with me.

When our first few lovemaking sessions were less than successful, she stayed with me.

She even agreed to marry me.

When I came to terms with the fact that I was really a woman, and always had been, she not only stayed with me, she told me she already knew, and it didn’t matter.

When we learned that the hormones I needed might destroy my sex drive or make me impotent, she never hesitated to encourage me to take them.

When I lost my job, she never once complained about having to support us both.

When I told her I wanted to have SRS to complete my transition, meaning she would never have sex in the traiditional way again if she stayed with me, she never hesitated to support my decision, and methodically began researching surgeons to determine who would give me the best result.

When we had to sell our wonderful victorian 4 bedroom house and buy one half its size to raise the money to pay for my transition, she never once complained.

As I sit here today, with only a few months to finally making the last bit of transition to being completley phsycally female, she remains my biggest supporter. Despite the fact that she’s never been physically attracted to women, and remains sexually drawn solely to men, her love for and commitment to me has nevered wavered.

And she sometimes still tells me she thinks she’s lucky to have found me.

Yes, I believe in true love.

19

That’s awesome, Kaitlyn. What a wonderful find. I’m glad you have such great support. (I now also fully realise exactly how well Mrs. Smith knows your case details … )

I’ve recently become a very strong believer myself …

Whenever that feeling allows my brain to function (fortunately they sometimes work very well together), I also remember that I support Rashak Mani’s position. I wouldn’t call that skeptic, I would rather call that a good observation of reality.

20

True Love is when you stop asking for definitions of True Love. :smiley: