Do you believe there a connection between weight and mental health?

This is not something I would ever admit in polite company. However, when I see an overweight person, I assume s/he has a fair amount of troubles in their life or a painful past that has not been resolved. I just see the fatness as evidence that they must be inwardly unwell because they’re not using food in a normal manner.

Because if this belief, I have not chosen people who are overweight to babysit or teach my children. I think they may be depressed or just generally ill equipped to handle the stresses that children are apt to bring.

I do understand that mental unwellness can certainly be found in people of all weight, but when one sees a person that is overweight, it’s a red flag that there are severe issues in that person’s life.

What I’m asking is do you believe there is any validity to my thoughts about people who are fat? Would you think twice about teachers or babysitters that are overweight?

Thank you for your honesty.

I think this is more a GD topic than a GQ one. That said I think you are painting with too broad a brush on this. Everyone has stress in their life and different people cope with stress in different ways. Some may eat to excess, others may drink, others may exercise too much or withdraw or whatever.

The reasons people eat too much and/or exercise too little is all over the board. Being overweight is no indication of a person who is inwardly unwell. I know plenty of overweight people who are quite happy in general and great people. I likewise know more than a few people who are in shape who are walking disaster areas.

In short everyone is different and each needs to be judged individually.

…wow… This is just f-ed.

There are numerous reasons why people might be overweight, fat or obese. Sure a fair, hell I’ve even say a lot of those reasons might be psychological.

Hey guess what… Some people choose food, some choose booze, some chose heroin, etc. People either pick their their ways of dealing with things or they are genetically predisposed… a little of both even.

The only difference is that o.d.ing on food is going to show up on the outside more readily.

You won’t let a fat person babysit? WTF? Sure I guess they could be stuffing theri faces as some sort of suicidal prolonged depression and somehow that might lead them to shoving your baby in an oven… or they could be perfectly content with their lives and really want to enjoy it. And the way they have chosen to do that is to eat well.
Is your position at all defensible?

Let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that your assumption is true.

Let’s also say (yes, that is not something you assume here) that everyone has stress in their lives, and the main difference is how they cope;

Which then, would you rather have babysitting your kids: someone who eats away their troubles;

or someone who acts out in ways that affect others, like attention seeking behavior, agression, irritability, impatience?

No there is no validity to the idea weight = mental health problems.

In many cultures weight is or has been a sign of wealth or even beauty.

Further, in America, obesity rates are so shockingly high and escalating that unless we are going to postulate that people are becoming more “inwardly unwell because they’re not using food in a normal manner” then we will have to accept that the issue of weight is a complex multi-faceted issue.

Good for you for framing this as a possibly irrational belief and seeking support as opposed to claiming it is so. There is a ton of research out there and your belief is common .

Psychologist here. I don’t know of studies that support your point of view. People are overweight for a variety of reasons, only some of which have anything to do with psychology. I will say that overweight people are treated badly by others, which may contribute to their stress. You might want to think about what you’re teaching your children by your behavior.

Having been thin most of my life, the weigh I’ve gained since menopause has been especially stubborn. I don’t see menopause as a mental health issue. My life has been no more or less stressful than anyone I know.
I have a husband who loves me, I’m intelliegent, well educated, happy and well adjusted, as far as I know.

I’m fairly sure I wouldn’t choose to care for, or educate the children of anyone who labeled me, or anyone else just on looks.

NOt really a General Question, rather looking for opinions.

Moved to IMHO.

samclem GQ moderator

Many people are fat and happy, as others have said.

MyFace , I nearly cried when I read the OP. My mother was morbidly obese, and was a wonderful elementary school teacher for over 30 years, as well as one of the most mentally and emotionally stable people I’ve ever known. Smart, funny, and loved kids – she touched a lot of young lives.

Like others have expressed, people are overweight for a variety of reasons. My mother’s obesity stemmed from a medical condition that limited her mobility and her capacity for exercise. At the age of 13, she spent 6 months in the Mayo Clinic, going through surgeries and therapy that would allow her to walk at all. At 18, she was nearly killed in a car accident, and suffered further damage to her legs. Throughout her life, she tried to watch what she ate, knowing she could not exercise much – but she loved life, which sometimes includes cookies and ice cream.

That you would have not found my mother a suitable teacher for your children, based on assumptions, breaks my heart.

When I think back on all the truly sick and twisted, cruel people I have known in my life, and the rude, nasty customers, I realize that very few of them were significantly overweight. In fact, if I had to pick a body type that has caused me more misery in my life, it is petite women. Especially blonde, petite women. Blonde, petite, ambitious women have caused me more emotional pain, job stress, financial distress and significant loss than any other body type. I can really think of only one seriously overweight woman that I want to avoid like the plague, and one moderately bulky guy. And the wandering whackos that come in my store and spout outrageous diatribes are all of normal weight.

And when I looked for a teenage babysitter for my kids, I was more interested in getting a plump band kid who got good grades than a skinny airhead cheerleader-type. Mainly because I was one myself, but also because they were reliable, available, and trustworthy. I’d rather have a squishy, cuddly kind of girl babysit and read to my kids, than a skinny girl who ignores the kids and talks to her friends on the phone all night.

I suspect that the OP is a slender person who hasn’t had a significant relationship with someone who is overweight. Otherwise you would realize that sometimes, people gain weight because they like food, and they aren’t obsessed with what their body looks like. For example, a mother-to-be who is more concerned with eating properly during her pregnancy than limiting her weight gain so that she’ll look good after she has the baby seems to me to be the more well-adjusted woman, emotionally, even if she ends up weighing more than she’d like after the baby is born.

Sometimes, as I watch very thin moms out jogging with their baby in a high-tech jogging strollers, I worry about their mental health. They seem so desperate, and anxious, and I worry that they are driven not by health concerns, but by fear that their husband will reject their after-baby body. They don’t seem happy or calm, and I’m sure they are the kinds of obsessive soccer moms that are way too prevelant in my community. I don’t get an impression of nuturing and loving care from them…just stress-driven anxiety.

And that is my humple opinion!

Now, now. Come on, folks. The OP asked a question, and didn’t say they believed very overweight people were bad or should not be trusted.

There are plausible connections between obesity and mental health issues. Food can be a substitute or a sort of self-soothing or maybe even self-medication for some of us. And I know of at least one person who believes their obesity originated when they were being molested and discovered the adult was less attracted as they gained weight. From the other side, given a person is obese (for whatever reason), they do suffer various kinds of abuse and rejection and social embarrassment that can interfere with their interpersonal growth. For that matter, being obese increases the liklihood of diabetes, and diabetes can cause some frightening mental and behavioral lapses in rare circumstances.

We could also guess at some reasons obesity might be a sign that a babysitter would be better. Where did the jolly fat person stereotype come from? The smiling round Mr. & Mrs. Santa Claus? But stereotypes in either direction don’t really give you much to go on.

More importantly, like another poster remarked, obesity isn’t the sign of mental problems as much as it is the most visible of a number of conditions that sometimes go along with mental problems. I don’t think that obese people are much liklier to bring trouble into your life. There is so much variability in people’s mental status, and it can be so difficult to discern, that obesity is probably not a useful sign in either direction.

That’s funny. The people in my life who seem to handle stress the best (at least outwardly) are the ones who are overweight. The thin folks are the ones who act like a walking DSM-IV manual. And they tend to be more annoying in general, I’ve found, with their constant kvetching about the calorie content of their food and their imaginary fatness. Regardless of body size, I find a person who doesn’t cry every time they eat a donut to be more fun than a person who does.

My parents are quite overweight. Most of my babysitters were overweight. Many of the friends that have moved in and out of my life have been overweight. And I think I’m a better person because of it, since I don’t carry crazy-ass ideas like you have.

I think it’s a fair question. I do associate obesity (generally 60+ lb overweight) with being in some pain, some disequilibrium. I think it’s often a sign of at least mild depression – they do have some causes and symptoms in common. Lack of exercise contributes to both obesity and depression; lack of sleep, typically a sign of depression, has been shown to lead to overeating.

But I don’t think that has anything to do with one’s fitness to care for childen. Depression and obesity have nothing to do with character, humor, compassion, intelligence, creativity, affection, and being quick on one’s feet. It’s not like a fat, depressed person goes “Oops, kids just lit the cat on fire, better go eat a donut.” Their problems and suffering are private, and not contagious.

And when you’re talking about more severe and dangerous forms of mental illness, weight has nothing to do with it. Look at the killers in the newspaper, the pedophiles online, the patients in a psych ward - they look normal.

It’d be convenient if there was a simple “red flag” that denoted defective people whom you wouldn’t want around your children, but it’s just not that simple. I think you’d be wise to spend more time looking them in the eye vs. the waistline.

I can wager some (silly) guesses:

Fat babysitters have ample laps and (possibly) large bosoms. A baby isn’t going to flop out of a fat babysitter’s grasp that easily. There is also a lot more of a fat babysitter to hug, making her a comforting figure.

Fat babysitters look strong. They will be able to lift that car off of your baby if need be.

Fat babysitters know how to cook. Your child will not starve while in her care.

Fat babysitters are more sedentary, which means they aren’t going to be taking your baby very far from the home.

Well I think it’s great that the OP asked such a contraversial question. I don’t care who you are, we all discriminate in our own ways and for our own reasons and that’s part of being human.

You are fully entitled to choose who you deal with on a personal level.

With that out of the way, I think most people are fat today because:
1- our food is overabundant and over avialable
2- the types of foods we have now are mainly easially digestable carbohydrate foods which is stripped of fiber and micronutrients, which IMHO packs on the pounds fast.
3- we have become a sit on our ass society (cars, remotes, drive-thru’s) we don’t move.

Now some fat people do have some sort of mental health issue, but not all and not all ‘normal sized’ people are free of menatl health issues.

I can only reply with my opinion. When my weight drops below 120 lbs, I get MENTAL. I get depressed, in a highly agitated and twitchy way. Despite the fact that I look really good. No matter how great or rotten things are, below 120 lbs I cannot regulate my moods. My father has reported the same phenomenon corresponding to his weight. When our body fat goes below a certain percent, our neurochemistry gets all whacky. Luckily, we only ever seem to encounter this every decade or so. So I would advise watching out for the skinny ones.

Your theory is as valid as mine. I think that child molestation, vile as it is, is probably pretty good exercise, and its practitioners stay slim. So I’d be leery of hiring thin babysitters.

As I recall there was a recent study showing a mild (25% or so) increase in mood disorders among obese people. However this was matched by an about equal *decrease * in substance abuse among the obese. In other words, these two conclusions were equally valid:
Fat person: OMG He’s probably depressed!

Normal weight person: OMG He’s probably a drug addict!
Pick your poison.

I may wonder about the personal issues of someone who is, say, more than 100 pounds overweight. Anything less than that, though, I think is explainable by kanicbird’s reasons quite easily.