Of ^%*#$@& course!
How the %@#& else do you move a @%^&*#$ mattress or refrigerator?!?
I do so much more rarely than I used to.
These days, I favor a chilly glare and deathly calm veiled threats.
I came to realize, a few years ago, that when I called some bit of machinery a “worthless piece o’ shit,” I was talking to myself. Since that moment, I have been much less generous with rat’s parts. It doesn’t matter how many rat’s parts I may have, I’m unlikely to give one. 
So much of my allowance growing up went towards new controllers, it’s not even funny. Why I would play a game, for hour after hour, when all it did was infuriate me beyond my ability to control myself is beyond me.
Of course, it did feel pretty good once I finally beat that stupid sorry bastard son of a bitch.
Yeah, chalk up one more “fucking pain in the ass computer” user here.
And much like erictelevision, I expect the thing (or the program in question) to do what it’s supposed to do. I’m not asking for a lot, here.
Due to the eccentricity of the 32-bit Windows operating system (pick one) I also often curse the thing out when it cannot give me the same results, from the same set of actions “two fucking times in a row!”
Open the browser. Go to such and such web page. Click such and such link. It opens, I get to read the content, yay rah. Cut to four hours later: Open browser, go to same web page, click same link, and the fucking browser locks up forcing me to start again, reboot, or give up and try to remember what the frigging page said, and relate that to whomever it is I’m trying to find the information for.
Razzin’ frazzin’ hot-wired pile of monkey nuts…
I’m a tall person.
On the occassion of accidentally challenging immovable, inanimate objects with the the soft, fleshy, top part of my cranium I will more times than not vociferously curse said objects in a blind rage, yea verily lay my hands upon it, and attempt to rend it asunder with tremendous emotional vigor.
I have many bumpy spots on the soft, fleshy, top part of my head.
I’m also prejudiced against short persons.
I can honestly say I do. However, my instances of anger towards an inanimate object hasn’t been as creative as some of the other posters.
I used to swear at my computer when it wouldn’t work as well as I thought it should but one day I decided to try a different tactic and started sweet-talking it. Seems to work better for me.
BUT I swear at a wall (which I usually hit with my shoulder or sometimes entire side) on a nearly daily basis that has been in the exact same place for twenty-one years, usually when I’m half asleep and my eyes aren’t quite open yet. I blame it for my clumsiness.
“Damn wall! Watch where you’re going!” :wally
I do, indeed, swear at them. Sometimes I threaten them. I believe my best performance was a five minute Christopher Walken style monologue (complete with voice and vocal mannerisms) involving my knowlege of where the server room was, how long the door would keep me out, what I had in my backpack, and what, in exquisite detail, I was going to do with it when I got there if I was not allowed to log in so I could get some work done.
I don’t know if it impressed the systems much, but since then I have had absolutely no problems with any of the people who sit near me.
Pretty impressive considering I had a bottle of water, a multitool, three pairs of socks, seven paperbacks and a small kit containing condoms and safety razors. I guess creativity does count.
I have been known to throw inanimate objects across the room, to Teach Them a Lesson.
I always swear at inanimate objects, I don’t think there is such a thing as an inanimate object - they’re all consious and aware that they are pissing you off. My car has a dent above the wheel, why? cuz I kicked it when it wouldn’t let me open the bonnet (hood) one day, and when I saw that I’d dented it I yelled “and I hope that *ucking hurt, you sodding *astard!”
I have a handbag, when I sit it down somewhere (on a chair, on the floor, on a table) it always, but always, falls over. it doesn’t have a zip or anything, so when it falls over everything spills out. I swear the *ucking thing does it deliberately, I’ve watched it sit there, then as soon as I blink, it falls over! sonovabi…
"Any inanimate object that refuses to cooperate with me immediately becomes a ‘piece of shit’. "
I find myself calling things “You fucking whore” a lot. Geez…that’s pretty bad.
Inanimate objects are just… like… stupid.
That’s pretty funny. I’m afraid we’re going to have to ask you to change your username, though.
I just curse because of the event (stubbing my toe), I don’t curse at inanimate objects. It seems a little silly to me. Objects are not intentionally trying to piss me off*.
[sub]*Computers are not inanimate objects. They do actively try to piss me off and, what’s more, they take great delight in it. The bastards.[/sub]
That’s pretty funny. I’m afraid we’re going to have to ask you to change your username, though.
I just curse because of the event (stubbing my toe), I don’t curse at inanimate objects. It seems a little silly to me. Objects are not intentionally trying to piss me off*.
[sub]*Computers are not inanimate objects. They do actively try to piss me off and, what’s more, they take great delight in it. The bastards.[/sub]
I just go straight after Reailty itself.
“Stupid laws of physics!”
You must be my behavioral doppelganger. When i first saw this thread title, i thought that it must have been started just for me.
My computer gets sworn at more than any other single object in my house, and if i didn’t need it so badly it would have been defenestrated long ago. As it is, i have managed to restrict myself to infliciting some non-lethal injuries on the cunt of a machine.
It has a large crack in the front of the tower, and the floppy disc drive has been pushed an inch or so back into the console, all courtesy of my boot. There are also a bunch of small indentations in the plastic casing of the monitor, where i have stabbed it repeatedly with a large pair of scissors. And i had to replace the original keyboard a while ago because i beat the shit out of it.
There are times when i get frustrated by inanimate objects and there is nothing i would like more than to hear the sound of breaking glass. I have to take great steps to stop myself, take a few deep breaths, and NOT start throwing crockery and glassware around the kitchen. I did break a small bowl the other night after i stubbed my toe in the kitchen and threw a spoon into the sink in my pain and frustration.
I’m nothing like this with people, the only exception being on the rare occasions when i throw a fit with another person present. The worst thing you can do in this situation is tell me to calm down. Yes, i am well aware that swearing at my computer and beating the shit out of it is unlikely to lead to better performance, but the last thing i need right now is your sanctimonious ass pointing that fact out to me.
[nitpick]
Um, mhendo, are you threatening to remove Windows from your computer or what???
[/nitpick]
Me, too! […wiping tear…]
I do, especially my computer. But I am rarely in a rage when I do it. And I never ever throw things.
I must also mention that after I apologize said object, I stab it repeatedly, pull its “guts” out, eat them for dinner and then proceed to set the remains on fire.
The Maytag man just can’t figure it out.