I thought about putting this in IMHO, but with the language that may come forth I thought it better belonged here. Mods, please feel free to move if this is the wrong forum.
I work in a cubicle…four walls, no privacy. I have been known to get frustrated with the workload, the computer software, the computer network, stupid questions. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job.
As a result of this frustration, I have been know to let loose a string of four letter words. I’m not Erin Brockovich, and I am trying to watch the language, but sometimes I can’t help it.
I have also strangled myself, with a “Son of a…biscuit eater,” “Mother…of God,” and “Godd…bless America.” Not very imaginative, I’m afraid.
However, cursing my computer with “You noxious piece of shit” is not going to endear me to my nearby cubicle mates. I’m looking for imaginative curses I can use at work that will allow me to vent my frustration without offending my co-workers. On the temp board I read a thread that contained “Diaper-sucking troglodyte” but I want to save that curse for a really bad day.
So, if you are at work and you want to curse without cussing, what do you say? Could I borrow any of them?
Thanks, but those aren’t quite the strong, “clean” ones I was looking for. These are ones I used when I was in school and to afraid to use the real “swear” words.
Fluff: Well, why not? Plus it sounds sufficiently close to fuck that people get confused and do a double take when they realise what you said. It’s entertaining.
Smurf: Consider how often the smurfs use it. I figure any word that versatile has to be obscene.
You know what’s funny? As soon as I saw the thread title, the first one that sprang to mind was “Ods bodkins!” Unfortunately, Spritle beat me to the punch.
The only problem with “Ods bodkins!” is that you must leap onto a nearby table and hold your fist in the air in order for it to have the full effect.
I sympathise. I called my computer a “son of an ape” earlier this morning, which I think has a nice 1,001 Nights sort of touch to it, and lends itself to variation, “Grandson of toads! Offspring of debauched camels! Spawn of the nethermost pit!”, that sort of thing.
I’ve been know to call my boss a “scrofulous Antipodean mooncalf”, but that might not work for you; your boss may not, in fact, come from the other side of the world from you.
I find invoking St Albert and St Jude helps - St Albert the Great is the patron saint of science, St Jude is notoriously the patron saint of lost causes, between them I reckon they cover the IT industry.
<french accent>
Boil your Bottom!
Son of a Silly Person!
I blow my nose at you!
You Empty-headed animal food-trough water!
I fart in your general direction!
Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!
</french accent>
