My favorites:
Cheese and Rice!
or, the slightly more advanced:
Jumpin’ Cheese and Rice on a Pogo Stick!
or, I do my yosimite sam impression, which always is the same:
bough bough bricka frou brough brick
I use utterly, stupid and my favorite, you bucket. For some reason, they work well.
I love Cheese and Rice. A euphamistic Jesus Christ. I always add on “Superstar,” and wonder what composer Tim ** RICE ** thinks of it.
I like made-up curse words from comic books and cartoons.
“Aw, shock it!”
“Get fragged!”
“That’s some cold hard slag.”
“Zark you!”
Try learning to swear in another language.
I have a book called “Dermo! The Russian Tolstoy Never Used”
I certainly can’t quote it, I don’t think anyone can, but listen to the father from a A Christmas Story when he’s “fixing” the furnace. Excellent! Excellent! Excellnet! And very similar to Yosemite Sam. I’m attempting to model my own swearing after this dialogue. Especially with a very perceptive two-year-old around the house. It hasn’t worked yet, “motherfucker” still explains how I fell too appropriately most of the time. 
I wonder if Anthracite will be pleased to discover she is one of Capt. Haddock’s favorite curses.
Cow Poo!
So true. I love the the Narrator’s response…
“In the heat of battle, my father wove a tapestry of obsenity that as far as we know, is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan.”
You can’t go wrong with a few Spongebob Squarepants curses. Ultraclean, they roll well off the tongue and hip, to boot!
Barnacles!
Tartar sauce!
Fish paste!
Motherfreshener!
Dagat Frack!
I like the really long ones that sort of roll off the tongue. My current favorite is:
Hermaphroditic spawn of an inbred leperous weasel!
Also:
You festering pustule of a maggot-infested crustacean! You heinous abomination a of slack-jawed spineless brain-rotten troglodyte! You disease-ridden dung-swilling toad-loving cancerous bottom-feeding bowel-purging excuse for an unfinished gargoyle!!!
:::happy sigh::::
From the page:
:eek:
My own inventions: Dog-banged boss-rotten socktucker.
W.C. Fields used to say “Godfrey Daniel”
Knowing a few choice words in other languages seems to work well for me… full satisfaction of a regular curse with half the comprehension from co-workers.
So, have things gotten any better or more creative after ten years? And do zombies cuss?
Corksocker! (or Corksacker!)
Bun of a sitch!
Dastard!
Futhermucker!
Piece of twit!
“Sic sookim seem!” (bastardized Russian phrase describing questionable parentage)
“Baka Gaijin!” (Japanese phrase describing a stupid foreigner)
“Blast!”
“Blasted!”
Are two I use on my job as replacement words.
Sonoma Beach
It’s a state park in California, Google it!