Do you fear death?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

*Stay with me, God. The night is dark,
The night is cold: my little spark
Of courage dies. The night is long;
Be with me, God, and make me strong.

I love a game; I love a fight.
I hate the dark; I love the light.
I love my child; I love my wife.
I am no coward. I love Life,

Life with its change of mood and shade.
I want to live. I’m not afraid,
But me and mine are hard to part;
Oh, unknown God, lift up my heart.

You stilled the waters at Dunkirk
And saved Your Servants. All Your work
Is wonderful, dear God. You strode
Before us down that dreadful road.

We were alone, and hope had fled;
We loved our country and our dead,
And could not shame them; so we stayed
The course, and were not much afraid.

Dear God that nightmare road! And then
That sea! We got there-we were men.
My eyes were blind, my feet were torn,
My soul sang like a bird at dawn!

I knew that death is but a door.
I knew what we were fighting for:
Peace for the kids, our brothers freed,
A kinder world, a cleaner breed.

I’m but the son my mother bore,
A simple man, and nothing more.
But-God of strength and gentleness,
Be pleased to make me nothing less.

Help me, O God, when Death is near
To mock the haggard face of fear,
That when I fall-if fall I must-
My soul may triumph in the Dust.*

From here.

No, I am not afraid of death.

Regards,
Shodan

22

I don’t fear death, I just hope I have a cool one, like jumping in front of a missle to save Spiderman so he can save the day kind of death.

I will probably die of something lame though.

23

I agree completely. Never really thought about death, since I’m an atheist and don’t believe anything will happen afterwards, but I fear a long, drawn-out dying. I’ve written a lot of stuff for class about death and most of it deals with that thinking.

Some of us believe in an afterlife, some don’t. For those who don’t, it’s completely irrational and pointless to worry about it. For all the sadness you think right now, you will feel nothing after death. All the friends and family you feel would be saddened, you won’t know it. There’s a bit of relief in that, that when you get to that point you cease all worries. And it’s not like you can avoid it, everybody dies, no exceptions, so worrying yourself into a stupor isn’t going to make your life or theirs any better, so just have fun while you still can

I once suggested to my classmates during an essay that if they were really that worried, then there’s no point in making the rest of us depressed. Just go ahead and kill yourself, I said (the professor had to pause class and clarify that nobody’s advocating suicide). But I’m serious. If my beliefs are true, and I think they are, you’ll cease to worry as soon as you’re dead, so the best way to stop that is to just kill yourself. I don’t mean that in any malicious way, but a pragmatic way.

Suicide is a little too demonized in my opinion. Lots of countries have euthanasia and assisted suicide, but none to the degree that I would prefer (no restrictions). Maybe it’s selfish, maybe it’s cowardly, but you’ll hardly be worried about that when you’re dead. Let the living sort it out.

To me, every time I sleep is like death. That’s not hyperbole. I imagine death to be an eternal sleep with no dreams. You could fall asleep and wake up 16 hours later and it would be like you teleported into the future. There’s no passage of time when you’re sleeping and not dreaming, you only feel the effects after you wake. So when I’m getting ready to fall asleep, I think to myself this must be like what death is. You don’t know the instant you fall asleep, but you can feel it coming. And most of the time you want it. It’s not that bad, really

I’m not sure what you have, I haven’t read too much of the personal stuff that people post on this board about themselves. I hope it doesn’t hurt. However, you mentioned losing your mind. The great thing about that is that once you lose your mind, you will hardly miss it. If you’re crazy, then you hardly realize you’re crazy, you just think everyone else is. To you, you’ll still be normal, and everyone else is like a Twilight Zone episode where the world’s gone mad. Take that and enjoy it, might be fun.

24

I’m not afraid of dying…I just don’t want to be there when it happens!

25

No, not at all, but my wife was a palliative care consultant and I had a child die when only a few days old.

I had a friend day of cancer a few years ago and sometimes I am watching a movie, enjoying a band, seeing a good TV show for the first time, experiencing a great sports performance or winning a good bet and I think, “If Chris wasn’t dead he’d love this,” and it depresses the shit out of me. So I would hate missing out on all the things I am looking forward to - the State of Origin Series, the NRL grand final, the next Ashes series, Dave Warner playing test cricket, the next album from anyone I like, the next Mark Wahlberg movie, the rest of Justified, how Breaking Bad pans out, all the sex I won’t have, grandkids, how my boys end up, what happens to all the other people I care about and the advent of world Socialism (don’t worry Americans it won’t involve you).

Regret possibly but no fear.

26

I’ve been concerned that I won’t know what to do when the time comes. Like I’m going to miss an important step and end up being an eternally confused ghost. But I’ve fallen asleep before and have become reasonably good at it, how much different can dying be? These days I’m actually confident that dying is the one thing I won’t fuck up.

As for unfinished business or those I’ve left behind? It’ll all be alright. There are a bajillion situations in the world right now–horrible crimes happening, situations that need analyzing, beers that need drinking, cats that need lovin…I wouldn’t be able to attend to those while I’m alive, yet the world will go on. My tiny little circle will also go on without me.

So no, I’m not afraid to die.

27

Before I got married I was terrified of death. Now I’m looking forward to it. Ba-dum-Ba.

28

Hey Quasi, I don’t know the details of your situation. I do know you are going through what seems to be an incredibly hard and torturous situation.

Of course I want to say, “Don’t worry, man, it will be OK, just take each day as it comes,” but I know that is easy to say and really, really hard to execute.

But here are some things I think of regarding death:

Everyone goes through death eventually. Think of all of the people that have gone before us. How many countless people is that? Yet they all managed to do it successfully. I don’t mean that as a joke or anything. I mean, no matter what their fear was, no matter how brave or how great of a coward they were, they all faced the same process and ended up the same way. So will we all.

No amount of worrying or fear is going to change it or delay it.

I know it is hard to let go of that fear, but I hope you can. It will help.

And I don’t mean “Embrace death” or anything stupid like that. I just hope you can stop worrying about it.

I was with my wife when she died. She had almost a year of knowing that she was going to die in the foreseeable future, but even on the day she died she didn’t know that that day specifically was going to be her last day.

She was determined to live, but as she passed on she was quite peaceful.

She had regrets, things that she wished she had done, having to leave her kids behind, but she knew it was out of her control, and chose not to focus on it. (I remember that one trivial regret she had was “If I knew I was going to die so young, I would have eaten more ice cream.” This was when she was at a point where she could no longer eat normally. You, my friend, still have that option!)

And I don’t think there is anything horrible waiting for us on the other side. Personally, I think that there is just oblivion, just nothing. It will be just like before we were born. I don’t know about you, but I wasn’t aware of any passage of time before I was born, certainly not of any sadness or longing or pain. It seems reasonable to think that something similar, something equally stress free, awaits. YMMV.

But it makes no sense for there to be something horrible or scary awaiting us. In any case, maybe you can take comfort in the fact that we all will face it, whatever it is. Countless people have before us, and countless people will after us.

Find what enjoyment you can today, as long as it doesn’t hurt someone else or yourself. If you can find something enjoyable that you can share with someone else, all’s the better. Ice cream works for some, I don’t know what works for you, but I hope you can find something good each day.

I don’t know if any of this helps, but I hope it does. Ultimately, we are not alone, we are all in the same boat.

29

I am afraid of dying while Celtling still needs me. Mortally terrified of not being there for her.

But I’ve never been afraid of dying per se. In fact there have been long stretches when I would gladly have chosen it. My life is satisfying, and I’m confident that I’ve done a lot of good, but I’ve seldom been what would one would call completely happy. There is just always some horror waiting 'round the corner in my life; I seem to be a magnet for them.

I will lie down to rest gladly when the time comes.

And Quasi, I hope that your fear is born of a happy life, one that you do not wish to leave; I hope it comes from a conviction that this was so wonderful, whatever comes after can not possibly measure up to it.

30

I’ve thought about this a fair bit most of my life. I’ve always liked doing things folks think of as dangerous but I don’t have that death wish some people do. Given my choice I wouldn’t mind living a few hundred years or so. But I’m not afraid of death either and I would never try to wall myself off from it. I believe the thing that is really “me” will live on. Call it a soul or electrical output or species memory or whatever - its there and always will be. So dropping off 250 pounds of meat to the worms or whatever doesn’t have a fear factor for me - just a change of state.

31

I have had close calls–more, probably, than is reasonable for a largely sedentary homebody. You might say that Death and I have a nodding acquaintance…but He’s no friend of mine.

I don’t fear death. If you fear death, you walk every step of your life afraid, and that’s no fit way to live. I hate death. I hate it for stealing away those precious to me. I hate it for the fact that it will inevitably rob me of the tomorrows I want to see.

Death is the enemy, and the best way to spite Him is to live the best life you can until He comes for you. “For Hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee.”

32

Yes, I’m afraid of my death if I know it 's coming. What if you’re in a burning building with no chance of escape, or in a plane going down, or facing a long, painful illness?

But I’m not afraid of being dead, just of dying. There’s a difference. When I’m dead there will be Heaven, and no more worries.

33

I’m terrified of death–dying and death itself. I have a lot of anxiety about it. I just kills me how arbitrary and unexpected it is, how you never know when it will happen and what will happen.

I am an atheist, which makes death even more terrifying. I admire people who can just accept it. I actually got into a kind of argument with my (also atheist) Aunt.

Basically she has a friend who worked at a factory somewhere in Illinois, and one day, just minutes after he’d driven away, the factory exploded. A big chunk of building landed where his car had been 5 minutes before. Nobody inside the factory was hurt, but some random guy pumping gas across the street was hit by a chunk of debris, had his arm ripped clean off and bled to death in the parking lot.

‘‘Oh,’’ I said, ‘‘Like I needed any more evidence that life is meaningless and arbitrarily cruel.’’
She looked at me funny. ‘‘If anything it should just make you appreciate every second you’ve got.’’ She told me I should just accept it. She nearly choked to death a couple of years ago, and remembers complete nothingness, so she doesn’t fear death.
Accept it. Well, that’s my life’s work, I guess.

Unlike a lot of atheists here, I’m not happy with my nonbelief. I’m pissed off that I’m an atheist because life is a lot less scary when you believe in god. I know, because I once did. The notion of god protected me from so much when I was growing up, I often long for that sense of safety and security. But once you have been betrayed by one God it’s pretty hard to muster the belief again.

One thing that helped me was a hospice pamphlet on death and dying I read as part of my orientation to my job at a nursing/rehab facility. It said, ‘‘You’ll probably handle your own death the same way you handle any stressful event.’’

And I find that comforting, because I know who I am and how I deal with things, and I’m usually pretty strong about the big, scary stuff. So realizing that I’ll have myself to guide me through the process takes the edge off a little.

If your history on the Dope is any indication, Quasi, you’ll face death with candor and humor and leave behind an indelible memory.

34

I agree that I’m not afraid of what lies beyond, only what might happen to cause that last step across the divide. As a data point, for the most part, I’m probably closer to being a theist than an agnostic, although I generally use the agnostic label for ease of communication.

A book that had a large effect on my conception of death was and is Susan Cooper’s “Seaward”. Ever since I read it as a youngun, I’ve had a sympathetic feeling for a certain character, as that’s the way that I’d like to go, to sleep among the stars at close of day. It’s a comfort to me that someday there’ll be an ending, although I definitely don’t want to hurry it up any.

35

I don’t fear death. At all.

But I greatly fear dying.

36

Death sucks because of the loose ends it usually leaves. I fear dying before I’ve accomplished the things I feel I ought to.

37

Hence the phrase, ‘Now I’ve seen everything!’

38

Atheist, no.

39

I’ve quoted that before; it’s one of my favorites! I guess I fear going through the process of dying.

40

Nope, don’t fear moving out of this plane of existence at all. I’ve had a **great **ride–better than a whole lot of other people in this world. What more could I ask? Sure, I’d like to do/see/experience a lot of stuff I haven’t had time for, but it all has to end sometime.