Do you feel "out of touch" with most people/modern society?

Cafe Society
1

I often feel that I am not at all interested in things that seemingly a great percentage of my fellow Americans/human beings seem strongly invested in. I’m not talking about sorta 50/50 political issues - where I’m in the “liberal” half as opposed to the “conservative” half. And I’m not sure how many of these are things which advertising and public relations portrays society as more interested than it actually is. But I wondered how many of you felt similarly about what sorts of issues?

These are a few of the things (in no particular order) I feel especially “out of touch” about.

-One big one is atheism. Tho recently more people seem to be willing to acknowledge their personal disbelief, a great majority (70-80% - previously much higher) of Americans still perceive an irrational belief in some supernatural things. Doesn’t really affect my life, but makes me wonder why my mind is wired differently than so many of my species.
-I have very little interest in modern technology. I would be happy with a cordless home phone with answering machine, and a home PC with internet access and email. I see all of the advertising and just don’t understand why people seem to care so much about their phones and tablets, and why they want to use them as much as they do.
-I have no interest in RP/computer gaming or superhero/fantasy movies. Yet the superhero movies are driving the industry, and I understand gaming is bigger than TV, movies, sport combined.
-I consider food simply as fuel. So long as it is reasonably healthy and tasty, I have next to no interest in eating at restaurants or trying new, complicated recipes. No idea why the paper has a special section on cooking and restaurants, or why there are so many cook books published and food shows on TV.
-I will give up nearly any pleasure if it means I can avoid crowds. The idea of a street fair or big concert has negative appeal to me.
-I have no interest in professional sports, and minimal interest in celebrities.
-I am reasonably successful/comfortable, and have never complained about the amount of taxes I pay. Given my success/comfort, I’m very happy with my government providing a safety net to all those less fortunate/capable. My impression is that most similarly situated people seem far more concerned about getting even more and paying less. Or maybe I just hear the greedy fuckers more.

So, whaddya say? Please believe none of this is intended as “humble bragging” along the lines of “I don’t OWN a TV.”
-Am I misperceiving the extent to which the things I dislike or am uninterested in are actually enjoyed by others?
-Do you share my areas of disinterest, or do you have other ways in which you feel “out of touch”?
-Or do you generally feel “in touch” with most of what you perceive around you - however broadly or narrowly you perceive your “society”?

2

Good question. Quick and pithy answer: When I was young, I felt out of touch. Now that I’ve achieved middle age, I realize almost EVERYBODY feels out of touch, and those who don’t are the most deluded of all.

I don’t share all of your particular peccadilloes, but I don’t think any of them are super unusual; for any one of your bullet points, I’m sure tens of millions of Americans would agree with you.

3

I feel out of touch with a lot of modern technology and I feel this an accurate assessment of my abilities. I genuinely am unfamiliar with a lot of technology that younger people take for granted.

The same is true for a lot of current pop culture. I accept that I’m not longer the target audience.

4

Your attitudes taken together are certainly rare, although each individual one is not particularly uncommon.

Religion - While most Americans profess some sort of belief, only about 40 percent regularly attend services, iirc.
Tech - I know a lot of older people who feel exactly as you do. Having said that, about 90 percent of people have a smartphone, so if you don’t have one, you’re definitely in a minority. I felt the same way and resisted getting one until 2017 or so. Now, I don’t leave the house without it.
Video Games and SH - You’re not alone here.
Cooking - I think being a foodie is actually the outsider in this situation. Most people stick to foods they know. That’s why there are 10,000 McDonalds.
Crowds - Lots of people feel the same as you, I’m sure.
Money attitudes - I think a lot of people feel as you do. The ambitious people who complain a lot get more attention.
Sports/celebrities - Most people do follow at least some sport, so you’re a bit of an outsider here, yes.

5

Eh, Gallup indicates about 60% of Americans identify as sports fans, so he’s in the minority, but it’s a pretty large minority.

6

I do feel out of touch, but it may be because of always having lived a half-and-half life.

Half in America, so I feel like “the American” in Taiwan.
Half in Taiwan, so I feel like the “fob guy” in America.
Half as a homeschooled student in a right-wing Christian background, so I’m out of touch with everyone who went to public school.
I worked 9 years remotely where I barely talked to anyone, so it’s a bit odd when most people work commuting jobs that involve daily interaction with bosses and coworkers.

First I was very right-wing, then I switched to a mix of…very right-wing AND very left-wing positions that now result in…pissing off everyone.

I was an avid fan of NFL football while I lived abroad in Asia; as you can imagine, less than 1% of the population there cares about it.

And I know the OP didn’t want it mentioned, but yes, I grew up without a TV for the most part. It wasn’t until age 12 that I realized other kids didn’t read Newsweek or follow the Kosovo war.

7

Right - but w/ a population of some 330 million, even 6 “tens of millions” is only 20%. Still a pretty small minority. And what sorta gets to me is the cumulative effect. When the number of things in which I feel out of touch keeps adding up, I wonder what huge areas I AM in touch with most of my fellow Americans/humans.

So maybe the flip side is relevant as well. What of American/human “values” do you feel you strongly share?

8

It’s all a mix, different for each person. Out of your list, I’m not interested in superhero movies, but I love live concerts and go to about 30 a year.

9

I think there’s lots of “wriggle room” there, in that what’s healthy and tasty ( or not ) can be very broadly defined. Those with more adventurous palettes ( and/or varying sensitivities of taste ) might find that the acquisition of “tasty” foods requires venturing out more and casting a wider net.

10

Not trying to argue, but:
-re: religion/supernatural - I was not referring simply to churchgoers, but to people who hold SOME/ANY belief in something I consider irrational (and undesirable/unhealthy).
-video games/SH - I imagine a lot of people do not go to movies at all. But when I look at what is being presented as mass entertainment, it seems A LOT of people are spending money on games/SH. Is my perception incorrect?
-re: sports - I don’t know how people self identify as sports fans, but my daily paper has a daily section specifically on sports, but not a daily section on the arts. Same with TV news. My impression is that far more attention/$ is directed towards sports at the HS/college levels than all other non-academic aspects combined.
-And I don’t even want to eat at McD’s, when I can have a healthy, tasty PBJ at home.

When I go to concerts, it is in very small venues. As a kid, I LIVED at the Brawlroom, Uptown, Rio, etc. Nowadays, I far prefer making music than watching it. And the style of music I prefer - oldtime/bluegrass - is not exactly the most popular.

Anyone care to help me figure out any areas in which I DO share what appear to be the majority values/interests? Or am I unrealistic in presuming such common interests exist?

11

I’m religious, so part of the “in-group”…but Jewish, so not really.

I’m very left-wing politically, which made me feel out of touch most of my life, but recently things have been looking up.

Generally I’m not interested in owning a lot of expensive things; I’m not one who feels the need to replace my perfectly functional phone or computer with the new glitzier model.

One way I am out of touch, especially with my fellow men, is that I have absolutely no interest in automobiles. If I were single, I wouldn’t own one. If you open up the hood and challenge me to identify any one of the gizmos underneath it, I will fail.

Also, I’m vegetarian, which puts me in a pretty small minority.

But I do love my computer games, sports and gourmet food.

12

I may be confusing you with someone else, but IIRC from other threads you watch a lot of TV. That’s pretty common, although of course only a small minority will be watching any particular show.

13

I feel mostly the way you do, except I’m a huge baseball fan, and I like the occasional super hero joint (can’t stand fantasy tho).

But I also like that other people like all that other stuff. Other people being happy makes me happy. People are fascinating.

14

Yeah - that’s a pretty big thing I agree on with you. I mean - I like SOME nice things. I have a very nice upright bass, and one very nice watch I wear every day. But I feel I have a desire to own and maintain fewer “things” than nearly everyone else does. And I DESPISE disposable waste - plastic knickknacks, cheap clothing, etc. When I travel, I fly first class and stay in nice (not super luxury) hotels. But I travel infrequently. Our home is comfortable, but not over-the-top. And since I sold my “classic” car (not fancy or expensive - a 62 Corvair), my wife and I own 2 newer, mid-level model Subarus.

15

Good call. Yeah, that is probably something my wife and I share w/ many others. But then, even with that, we recently decided to intentionally avoid shows with murder, mayhem, and rape - which seems to rule out A LOT of what is most popular… :wink:

16

If it gives you any comfort, we coincide in everything except food. Even in that case, I’m more interested in recipes that are familiar and not too complicated than “trying new, complicated” ones.

The most coherent path usually lies between two extremes, and an integral approach to life should probably be based on varying proportions of reason and passion. I believe that, and, often enough, it ends up putting me at odds with people with whom I otherwise have much in common (and vice versa). In my opinion, it’s just the way life works when you’re more motivated by your beliefs than by the company you keep.

That little sermon I’ve just subjected you to might be a good example. If I met someone with a similarly hard-line outlook, I might not care for their company, because nobody can judge anyone else. People have to do whatever works for them. If someone seems shallow or immature, maybe it’s all they can do to deal with other aspects of their life that I don’t know about.

17

This is precisely what I was going to say, both always feeling out of touch and discovering that this is universal. I also don’t have much in common with the original poster.

But, you have to look for commonalities in others. We’re all different in different ways, but we share something with everyone else.

18

I’m out of touch with what engages the young. I don’t understand how an “influencer” or “YouTube personality” actually makes a living, etc. I keep up with technology to the extent that it serves my needs, e.g., I have no interest in cyber currency, nor do I know how it works.

I often wish that my wife had not gotten me active in politics, as I find I’m often enraged with the activities of most of those asshats. I was much happier when I was blissfully and willfully ignorant.

19

It shouldn’t be hard to understand. A cell phone is a cordless home phone with answering machine and home PC with internet access and email. Except that you can take it with you anywhere. And on top of being able to do every single thing both of those items can do, they can do many more things that neither can do.

20

Remember - you are a unique individual, just like everyone else!

I think it’s natural to start feeling “out of touch” as we age. I mean, I feel a bit out of touch with a lot of things, but interacting with my MIL makes me realize how hip I really am. I guess it all amounts to perspective, and accepting that not everyone likes/dislikes the thing you like/dislike. Ask yourself this question: what would the younger you think about the things you currently like/dislike?

For me, I felt out of touch around my kids’ sports. Yes, I enjoyed watching them play and compete, but hanging out with the other “professional dads” was painful for me, since I am not really a sports guy, and the small-talk sports stuff left me nursing a beer in the corner. I guess I was out of touch there.

No interest in computer gaming, nor any super-hero-laden movies. I think I only go to a movie theater 1x/year or so. Yeah, I am not the target audience, and I am OK with that, too. But really, Hollywood hasn’t had many original ideas in decades. Out of touch here, too.

I think I am out of touch with technology to some extent. I have had a smart phone for maybe the last 7-8 years, and it never is it far from my side. But I do not do pod casts (and don’t know where/how to listen to them). I don’t have nor ever want a home listening device like Alexa or Siri. I like Bluetooth in my car but at this point have no interest in self-driving cars. I can see myself with an electric car someday, but today is not that day. I think space travel by humans to the moon or Mars or wherever is a massive waste of human intelligence, time, and resources, but unmanned space exploration is OK. Some out of touch there, I would guess.

I am at the point where my job has me feeling burned-out, and have come to the realization that careers are over-rated. Sure, I like applying myself and helping my colleagues get something done (and getting paid for it), but if that part of my life came to a sudden end, I would happily find something else to do. Yet, I get that people’s career is part of their identity - it’s the first thing you ask about when meeting someone new. I wish there was another first question. Out of touch again.