So some people have what is commonly known as a Hectic Social Life.
They are out to dinner, or at bars, or clubs, or house parties, five nights a week. Others never set foot outside the house once they’ve done their dash for the day. They are what is commonly known as Homebodies (or Sad Losers, if you talk to the aforementioned extroverted flibbertigibberts).
Personally, I might go out one night a week, and maybe another night catch a movie with a friend. I rarely have the $$$ to go out more than that. Or it could be that if the putative outing sounds like Not Much Fun to me, I’ll politely turn it down (“Hey! Want to go to a Hard Trance Rave?” “Uh, I’m reaaally tired…”)
But if I have a whole week of Quiet Nights In, I’ll start to feel like I’m Wasting My YouthTM.
So what are your attitudes and habits in that department? Or if you’re Old, what were your habits in that department as a Hip and Happening Dude(ette)?
I’m a homebody.
I tried the whole party/bar thing when I turned 21. Lasted a little more than a summer. It’s just not something I enjoy doing. I like having a nice dinner, watching a movie or reading a book, and getting some sleep. Going out to the bar with friends is fine occasionally, but not all the time.
What is this “out” of which you speak?
(go out now-once you have kids–you really don’t get out much at all. Luckily, I prefer it that way)
Let me put it this way. On those rare occasions when I did step outside, my parents would joke about calling CNN. There’s a line in the movie Galaxy Quest when the geeky kid runs out the door with a handful of roman candles, offering some hasty explanation of providing visual guidance to land the ship, and the mother says, “At least he’s outside.” My parents were ON THE FLOOR when they heard that line. Because that’s me.
I’m too busy studying to have much time or energy left for any outings more strenuous than a coffee shop and a chat, really. When summer gets here and I’m done with finals I certainly plan on getting out more. I’ll be working, but at least I don’t bring that home with me at night to work on till 2 in the morning.
I don’t go out that much. Granted, there’s not a lot of out to get out to where I live.
It’s varied over the years. Post-college, during my late 20s and early 30s, I spent almost every night out socializing, much of that time spent running with a variable crew that included work friends as well as those that I’d come to know by virtue (?) of hanging out in the bars a lot. My cousin and some old high school friends were part of that mix. I dated quite a bit during that period (enough so that it started to become a financial burden).
Then, at 33, I met the woman who was to be my SO for almost a decade. For the first four years or so we maintained a hectic social schedule. And, I enjoyed that.
But then we withdrew as both our lives and those of our friends began to change. Babies appeared and their parents disappeared for 4-5 years, and then only gradually reappeared. Other people moved away to pursue career opportunities. And our lives changed. I started a company that required huge amounts of my time. While I still tried to get out from time to time, most of my socializing became business oriented, and I usually picked up the tab.
When my SO and I finally split the sheets (we remain friends to this day), I still had the business, and most social obligations were so oriented. One shining light was the monthly poker game with old friends that we kept up for 12 years, until the host’s wife developed cancer. I hated to see that go.
Then came a period wherein I had very little social interaction, and I came to realize how it becomes harder, as time passes, to maintain social relationships. It really kind of scared me. So I kicked it back into gear a few years ago, and now I spend 2-3 weekends a month in social situations, most of them fun but with the occasional drudge work. I spent last weekend at a 24 hour party for both my birthday and that of one of my oldest friends. FWIW, I’m now, as of last weekend, 52.
I have social anxiety disorder. I get out for my nice walk every day, usually to pick up groceries, sometimes just for exercise, I’m usually outdoors for at least two hours each day (rain or shine - rain today, I just bring my pretty purple umbrella). I don’t go out too often. Once a week with my husband for dinner out, and several times a week we go for nice drives together. He likes to get some fresh air after a tough day at work, sometimes.
Once a month or so we get together with a friend of my husband’s, who I like very much, since he’s a very nice fellow. We went out last week to meet this guy’s new girlfriend, who was also very nice, and it would be very nice if she stuck around. Sometimes we take time to go visit his father and brother and we all go out to Carkeek or something.
Bars, parties, clubs? Not my thing at all. I’d rather be at home with the husband and cats, reading a good book, painting, writing, beading, knitting, playing video games, fiddling with the groovebox, cooking something new, researching something I don’t know, or just hanging out and watching a movie.
Homebody. All the way. Or Sad Loser, whatever makes people sleep better at night.
Total homebody. For one thing, I don’t drink. And when I say I don’t drink, I mean never (so many people say that and mean they just don’t drink “much.”) I don’t think many of these people with busy social lives realize how very boring most nightlife places are sans alcohol.
I’ve moved around a lot in my young life, and haven’t had time to stay in one place and make local friends. I have a couple of friends I care about, and I will catch a movie or dinner with them when everyone has time. When I am visiting with my boyfriend, it is a nonstop whirlwind of activity and I’ll follow him anywhere. Aside from all that, I really prefer to be at home. Or, if I get the itch to do something in the evening, I’ll go “peoplewatching” downtown.
My routine, it never varies:
Go to work in the morning.
Leave work in the afternoon, stop for milk, bread etc on the way home.
Do the dinner, chores, kid interaction thing.
Watch tv, read or surf for about an hour.
Bed.
On weekends (I only get every other one off) it’s catch up on laundry & housework that doesnt get done during the week.
Sometimes on a Friday if we don’t feel like cooking we go out to eat. WITH the kids & usually some trough of a buffet place. If you call that getting out then I guess “yes” we do occasionally.
(Oh :smack: How could I forget my Saturday trip to the grocery store! I guess I DO get out more than I thought! :rolleyes: )
I’m not complaining. I’m a simple chick with simple needs & tastes. I enjoy my mundane existance immensely!
I have some running around to do already, with two different jobs on one campus, plus meetings there on a regular basis, and then the endless errands and appointments. I enjoy time at home. That said, I don’t mind the occasional dinner out with friends, and we might have some wine. But no clubs and no bars. I was never into them.
I think it’s pretty well balanced.
I stay at home for the most part. It saves money that way. Although I might have to trek out to our local (and very nice) cinema. Otherwise, we just have movie night on Fridays and watch DVDs, maybe have some beer.
I used to love to go out. Even after my daughter was born, she would go to my mom’s on Sat. night and I would go out. I wasn’t married or coupled up, and I was only 21, so it would have been pretty depressing to sit home and do nothing all alone.
I think the reasons I went out were to get drunk and hook up. I have always had tons of friends here in town and it’s fun to be popular when you go to your favorite bars. It was a blast for a long time, and I suppose, if I found myself single again, I would start going out again and get drunk and laid. No biggie. In my life, that’s what I do when I’m single.
Now that I’m in love and in a serious relationship, my need to go out has diminished greatly. I mean, what is the point if you aren’t trying to meet someone? At least that’s how it is for me. I have the guy, and I see my friends at other times. Most of them are also coupled, so if we do go out, it’s a whole different thing.
Maybe it’s just part of growing up, but I don’t think staying home makes one a loser. I read, write, watch movies, have sex, etc., etc. Life is just as fun at home, and it’s much less lonely than being a swinging single.
No, no, no. This is called “nesting.”
Our house is comfy and peaceful, and there’s always something to do here, whether work or fun. We venture out for special events like concerts, festivals, or get-togethers with friends, or to specifically spend the day someplace fun, but we don’t usually go out just to hang out drinking, or for the sake of “going out.” This is our sanctuary and we like it here!
Social life is a strange mixture of both the homebody and socialite. I read, research, cook, sew, bead, and numerous other geeky pursuits, BUT I do it in the company of lots of friends who share similar interests. Usually a bottle (or two, three…) of wine is involved, too.
Just this past Sunday, I hosted a marmalade-making party at my house. Two nights before that was a planning committee meeting* for an event this fall. Friday is a night out on the town for my anniversary, Sunday will be a business meeting* for my Barony, Tuesday- a luncheon followed by a banquet that evening, Thursday is another potluck luncheon, and the following weekend will be a three day event (Gleann Abhann’s FIRST Crown List! WooHoo!) in Hot Springs. I don’t think I’ve had a full week at home in ages.
We get out quite a bit, I’d say, for a couple of geeks with three kids.
*when you’re in the SCA, and you say “meeting”, you really mean “party” where stuff gets discussed, but wine and food also get consumed in vast quantities. 
I like staying in; bars and clubs aren’t interesting to me. I’ll go out to dinner with a friend a few times a month; will go see a movie or go shopping maybe once a month; will go see a play once every month or two; and will go out of town to visit friends every couple of months.
I do have “happy hour” maybe once a week with friends, but that’s usually an at home thing (someone brings appetizers, and we open a bottle or two of wine).
If I’m overscheduled such that I don’t have a day to myself over the weekend, it makes me nuts.
I’ve just passed a milestone in my hermitage.
Over the last few days, my longing to get out of the house- for any reason- has died down to a vast indifference. If I could go out, where would I go? I no longer have friends to visit, no family to speak of, and no money to spend.
I could go for a walk in the woods, and many people envy me for that. C’mon over if you want to see the woods, I’m tired of them.
TV, internet, sleep. I have lost interest in everything else. But I justify it to myself- iwas never popular, and my social skills are so bad that I only manage to make it worse for myself by acting too desperate, with no confidence or self-esteem. If I wasn’t married I would really be lost. (She works long hours and has a 75 minute commute, so she’s ready to go to bed almost as soon as she gets home.)
Have I always been this way? No, I have worked at various times for employers who believe that an employee owes their life to the company, and that I should be grateful to work more than 10 hours a day on a regular basis. Every day, including Sunday.
It was almost a relief to get diabetes, because I could slow down a little. No, it doesn’t work that way- it’s all or nothing.
I guess I qualify- hell, I could be the poster boy for Sad Losers.
I go out quite a bit these days; 4-5 nights a week I’ll go see a film, go to a bar, or sit in a coffeehouse and drink. It’s not that I’m terribly social–in fact, I genuinely suck at conviviality–but I’ve found that the general noise and disruption paradoxically helps me focus on reading or doing some intellectual task. Also, I don’t sleep much–4-5 hours a night maximum–and I’ve taken to going to some of the late night or all night coffeehouses and diners rather than lie in bed or go stir crazy reading in my living room for hours on end.
Plus, if I don’t go out I’ll tend to just sit at home and get drawn into any random book that’s lying around (think of a junkie with keys to the pharmacy), whereas if I go somewhere I have to select a book to take (or five :rolleyes: ) and thus I can focus on completing a particular book, or working on some skill, like refreshing up on Perl. Also, I’m a bit of a film geek and there’s a revival cinema in West Hollywood that does three different double bills a week, plus new releases and film festivals or series at the Arclight or Egyptian, so I’ll typically see 4-5 films a week.
Oh, and I’m working, albeit incompetently and haltingly, on trying to be more social, which mostly consists of brief conversations with bar and wait staff. I’m not much good at it, and I’ve always this nagging feeling I should be doing something more productive, like reviewing vector calculus or something :dubious: but at least I know where to get the best pour of Guinness and who stocks what selections of Irish whisky.
Stranger
My response is basically the same as <b>Stranger on a Train</b>. I’m not very social, but I like being out of the house and being around other people. Part of the reason I don’t hang out with a lot of people after hours is that I don’t like to drink and even being around people who are drunk or high is really uncomfortable for me. Also, I prefer one-on-one conversations to parties and most people don’t want to talk to the same person for an hour, they want to mingle, which is a skill I’ve never mastered. So in order to fake socialness without having to get into ugly messes I go to movies by myself and get coffee by myself and read in the park for hours by myself. It’s not ideal, but it’s better than staying at home and doing these things. If I liked staying at home all the time I would have never moved to the city!
Not really. I have little money, being a college student,and I have a grand total of one friend who lives nearby. The rest live elsewhere(Penn, Germany, Japan, California).
So there’s not a lot of reason to go out.