Personally, I do this all the time. I suppose it piggy-backs on my last thread about having a sick fantasy, especially if your sick fantasy is tearing your boss a new a-hole for being a pompous prick.
I am generally a mild mannered person. I don’t swear or get irate in a restaurant when the waiter brings me a dish with a hair in it. I generally give people the benefit of the doubt.
That being said, I can tear the ass out of someone in my head if they are being completely snarky or if they are affecting me remaining calm.
Case in Point:
I was waiting in line at the grocery, I had a pound of ground beef and a taco kit. Two items. The woman in front of me had a cart 1/4 full of cat and dog food tins, insecticide, and assorted junk food. She turned her head, looked at me when the man in front of her left the register, [ I was fully expecting her to say "go ahead I have a lot and you have only two things] instead of doing the kind thing of letting me go ahead, she started taking out her pet food canisters and placing them on the conveyer.
I wasn’t about to get a holier than thou attitude and say something, so instead I retreated into my own head.
[phlospher’s thought] ** You fat, self indulgent human paraquot! YOU CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO LET ME GO IN FRONT OF YOU WHEN YOUR CART IS FULL AND I HAVE TWO ITEMS? F*CK YOU FREAK!**
[/phlosphr’s thought]
Wow that was extreme, but hey, I’d rather yell at someone in my head than make a scene?
How about you? Make a scene or do it in your head?
Definitely do it in my head. I’d be surprised if this wasn’t the norm. That’s why, in regards to a few people, you’ll hear someone say something like “The filter between his brain and his mouth is missing”. Because most people have that filter. The filter “catches” these thoughts before they can get out of our mouths and make a scene.
I’ve been making a conscious effort to work on this though (I mean I’m making an effort to soften my thoughts, not to speak out more). I think that having too many aggressive thoughts in a day probably causes me more stress. So, not only am I not changing the person’s behavior the thought is directed towards, but I’m stressing myself out. It’s a lose/lose situation. So I’ve been trying, consciously, when someone’s behavior bothers me, to think “Well, she probably doesn’t even realize she’s doing it; she’s preoccupied by problems at home or work”, or whatever. Or worse, think how many times I’ve done that very thing without realizing it, and made someone else mentally yell at me!
But I also believe that for some people, thinking these things is a way of “blowing off steam” and may be helpful. I just don’t think it’s helpful for me (unless the person has clear signs of intentionally being an ass, in which case, I’m much too reserved to yell or start a confrontation-not to mention that I’m a wimp-but can say scathing things in the privacy of my mind).
I go a step further and create scenarios in my head that would allow for an appropriate response of outrage. And although these scenarios never occur in real life, I seem to feel better after I have had, and won, the imaginary argument in my head.
In real life my filter is so strong that I rarely speak out and generally go with the flow. Even though that can mean that I get trampled upon.
If you see me standing in line with a serene expression on my face, is means that I have gone to another world where I am hopping up and down, red in the face, and screaming “GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!!!”
Unfortunatly, no. I’m the guy who screams it at the top of his lungs. I’ve been kicked out, asked not to return, from all most as many places as I’ve been fired from.
If I were some kind of mutant Octopuss, with fingers on his tentacles, I still couldn’t count that high without taking off my pants and shoes.
I had this situation last week, doing my shopping.
Another woman was standing smack in the middle of a split aisle (freezer unit in the middle of the aisle). Like the four people ahead of me, I edged my trolley past her but she bent over suddenly and brushed her bottom against the basket - not a hit, I wasn’t even sure if she made contact as she didn’t react at all, so I just carried on.
These things happen.
She stalked past me a couple of minutes later calling me a b*tch and telling me to “watch where I fing shove my fing trolley.”
Very very quietly, to her retreating back I muttered “Or you could watch where you put your fat ass.”
Unfortunately her male companion and his friend were walking past - and very much under the influence of P (Meth?)
Boyfriend spent the next half minute screaming abuse at me while his mate tried to drag him away.
The situation wasn’t helped by a passerby who yelled out something inflammatory - the P-brain thought I’d said it, more screaming, more dragging away.
As I usually do when I’m terrified, I just kept doing the shopping and tried to wish them away while mentally calling for security and the police and the nice men with the white coats to please remove the insane people from aisle three.
The girlfriend who started the whole thing scuttled around a corner and bolted for the checkout, not willing to be noticed anymore, apparently.
Last time I saw them, the friend had the P-brain in a headlock and the store security were carefully not watching them exit.
I forgot the cheese. Bloody druggies.
Yes, saying things silently in your head is a much better option.
The only persons who I harass in my head are those who really deserve to be harassed in my head, such as the boss who cheated me out of a week’s pay, the landlord who tried to cheat me out of a month’s rent, and George W. Bush. I also used to carry out mental screaming matches with family members, but I’ve managed to refrain from that lately.
(A good tactic to calm yourself during unpleasant confrontations of the everyday type is to remind yourself that a month from now, you won’t even remember that the confrontation took place.)
I would never make a scene in public, but I have very vivid dreams where I holler and cuss out people for the tiniest little thing–like the lady who wouldn’t let you cut in line. I’m always a little embarassed when I wake up.
I need to learn to keep it in because I have a bad habit of saying exactly what’s on my mind at any given time. I’m that irate person at the customer service counter that you think is crazy.
I do. If I can’t throw objects, beat people up and scream at the top of my lungs in real life, might as well do it in my imagination. It’s probably not healthy, but since I have to remain civil outwardly, beating up poltergeists is far from the worst thing I could be doing.
Yes. I try never to use obscenities at work, out loud anyway. But when I walk down the hall and say hello to someone and they don’t say anything? “Well, fuck off and die, asshole!” /in my churning head.
I’m providing user support right now and it’s all I can do to keep the phrases inside my noggin.
