Wait, are you using a handheld wand? Amazon has dozens of very inexpensive units that don’t involve holding it in your hand and skootching your backside up and around to accommodate your arm. Just one example:
Bingo again. (A juvenile “bungo” gag suggests itself, but good taste and discretion prevail as always.)
I have the attachment kind with the pop out nozzle, and I can happily say that I haven’t seen my own poop in months. I don’t even blot up any water afterwards; seems like it’s only a couple drops, so it’s up trou and I’ve never had any repercussions. The only thing I would improve would be to have some sort of joystick, so the spray could be aimed, rather than sliding my butt around.
I think I read here that bidets are excellent if you have hemorrhoids. They’re also great if you’re caring for someone who requires toileting help.
Or IBS or a sensitive stomach.
At least you get a little core workout.
Overheard when a friend first tried the Toto out–“Woo!!! Right on the dot!”
WARNING: If you get a bidet attachment, turn up the water pressure gradually the first time you use it. AMHIK.
Every newbie who has used my bidet, despite my cautions, tries it on full blast before they sit down.
Mine won’t let you do that. It has a sensor that prevents the spray from activating unless there is a butt on the seat.
When someone tries mine for the first time, I point out the Off button on the remote control. IMHO, it’s the most important one when you’re just learning to use a bidet seat.
Where’s the fun in that?
I think I’m turning Japanese...wait, that was some other band.
Toto’s blessing the rains down on your butt.
ETA: Terrible jokes, I know. I hope they don’t give anyone the vapors.
We have bum guns on our toilets. Far superior to bidets, IMO.
American Mid Westerner here
I have a free standing bidet fixture on my master bath. Had used them in Europe and the mid east and allowed space for one when we built in 2002.
Hot and cold water at the turn of a valve and I love it. If I move again, I’d at least have a bidet toilet seat.
I see a lot of similar comments in this thread. Since in both of our bathrooms, there’s no electrical outlet near the toilet, this sort of thing would be our only option for giving a bidet a tryout, but the idea of cold water on the butt made us hesitant. But since the prevailing sentiment here seems to be that it’s not a problem, I think we may give one of these inexpensive cold-water bidet attachments a go.
I basically always use cold water, is not much of a problem, I had a bad experience once with hot water (it started cold so I turned it all on, but the heater was just starting and in a few seconds it got scalding hot, with the expected results), since then I always use cold water in the bidet.
I’m not a fan of cold water personally, but would probably put up with it over no bidet at all.
In America, there is almost never an outlet within a couple of feet of the toilet, but we certainly have plenty of electricians. 
I now have an electrical outlet about a foot off the floor in the wall behind all of the toilets in the house, none of which were there when we purchased the home.
My Tushy unit is hot/cold with no electricity; just has a line that taps into the hot water feed for the bathroom sink, cold water from toilet supply line, with a mixer knob for temp selection. I generally just activate it at a slow trickle to get the warm water going while I do my thing if I want some warmth… Though, to be honest, cold water isn’t as big of a deal as I thought it would be when I first installed the unit.
Ours is a cheapo unit with cold only. Works just fine and is not at all uncomfortable.
I’ve been thinking of getting one. The Internet At Large is crazy for them! But two things stop me:
- I only have one bathroom and for some reason the idea of having a bidet in the “public” bathroom in my house makes me uneasy. NO idea why. Not like I have many visitors anyway. But I just don’t want to be sharing my bidet.
- I stayed at a fancy hotel in LA where the bathroom had a presumably fancy bidet (lots of settings, cold and warm water, dryer) and it never felt right to me. Cleaning after a pee was ok I suppose, thanks to the dryer, but the two poos I took while at the hotel…I wiped afterwards and there was still a lot left over.
So I dunno, I just don’t want one. Well, I do want one and I want to be as happy as everyone else is with theirs. But my test run just didn’t go so good.
I just bought toilet paper the other night and it is more expensive than ever. I should rethink my stance…