Postal Workers’ rule for sorting mail:
It’s always the first place you think of.
This rule applies when there is a code-less letter for some weird little outback town that I haven’t sorted a letter to in years.
“Hey, Bringabongalong Heights - where does that get sorted to?”
“Brisbane… no wait… I’m sure it’s Tasmania… yup definitely Tasmania.”
It’ll be Brisbane. Always.
Auto parts sales here.
Rule one: Given a choice, the customer who has to guess about their car, really should not be doing the work. ie: “Does it have a 4 or 6 cylinder engine?” If they don’t know, it is going to be a long day.
Rule two: A shop that returns way to many parts (ie, more than ten percent of what they buy) is guessing what is wrong. They need to be taught how to diagnose.
Rule three: When a male/female couple comes in, do not ignore what the female says. Also remember, a high percentage of the time, the male talks, the female buys. I look at the woman whan it comes time to pay. In a couple that seem to be older than I (45)
the woman does have the money, and the man trusts her.
In broadcast engineering, we can’t afford to go too much by rules of thumb - a lot of things are just too dangerous not to have hard, fast, written, unbreakable procedures to follow (digging in to the 33,000 volt power supply of a transmitter, for instance)
But, there are things that happen again and again that allow you to plan a little better when it comes to people, resources, etc.
The transmitter that is farthest away from the city will always crap out at 4:45 PM on Friday - at the start of a holiday weekend.
The newsroom will never give you all the information you need to set up a satellite live shot.
The biggest breaking news story of the year will happen while you have the news control room offline for maintenance.
We may be here to serve our advertisers, but the viewers are louder - thus the viewer is king.
The Ambassador’s way is the correct way. Unless the Undersecretary (or, God Forbid, the Secretary) wants it done another way. Then the new way is the right way.
Congresspersons will pick the most inconvenient times for official delegation travel to your country, and expect you and your staff to be at their beck and call. Like Christmas Eve in a Catholic country, with a never-seen-before two feet of snow on the ground. Luckily my colleague was able to convince them that a) we couldn’t arrange transport for the Pope himself and b) all the good shopping would be closed.
Plan for at least three hours before and after an official visit. When the plane takes off, man the command center for at least three hours after, in case the pilot discovers that they don’t have enough fuel and you have to arrange for 25000 pounds of Avgas in forty-five minutes.
If you think the applicant is lying to you, deny the visa. You can always check with your office head and reconsider.
Up until the age of 40, you don’t sign anything you write. After the age of 40, you don’t write anything you sign.
Just because the head porter (or foreign journalist, or flying doctor, or person-pointing-out the landmines) keeps saying “Yes” to your questions, that doesn’t mean he/she understands you. It usually means “I hear you, keep talking”.
Boil your water. Then use the purification tabs. Then throw it out and drink bourbon instead. It’s safer.
The most powerful person in the Embassy is the ambassador’s secretary. The person who gets all the good dirt is the ambassador’s bartender.
Make friends with the head of the motorpool. Make friends with the Marines guarding you.
If someone makes incredibly dull conversation at a cocktail party, keep listening. Other people won’t, and that means when the dull person actually has something important to say, they’ll say it to you.
Cover your ass. Then cover your boss’ ass. Then cover your employees.
Above all, proofread your reports and drink club soda with lime at official functions. You can get drunk later in the privacy of your quarters.
With computers, knowing the “80-20” rule helps alot. E.g., 20% of the files on the server account for 80% of the accesses. 20% of the users account for 80% of the net load, etc. It is in the process of changing over to a “90-10” rule now.
I think it’s a good rule of thumb for a lot of other fields.
If it doesn’t make sense, somebody is lying, or somebody is incredibly stupid. (military rule of thumb)
I’m a car dealer:
When I am evaluating a car, if the gas tank is full, it’s a good car, if the gas tank is at “E” or below, it’s a piece of junk.
Sellers lie, buyers lie, everybody lies when it comes to dealing with cars.
That’s funny. My first take was that someone who says “I really need a job”, really does need one - but is not particular about what they get. That leads them to either not care or move on to something better when they don’t have the pressure of “needing” a job.
I guess the rule of thumb would be to make sure that someone both needs and wants a particular job.
State government bureaucrat:
Read your email. Respond to it promptly or delete it. Never put anything in writing you are not willing to have read out loud in a court of law by an attorney who is adversarial.
The customer is not always right when it comes to interpreting state and federal regulation. If they are not right, listen to them and gently lead them to understanding. If they don’t understand, you should know why.
If you want an answer in writing, you have to give me the question in writing. That way the question stays the same.
Always remember the words of Lenin, “Bureaucracy is shit.” If you can’t smile at this, you really need to get out of government work.
Bearings and Power Transmission
When selecting Stainless Steel Rollerchain, upsize to the next size of chain as it is weaker than standard steel chain. If you are close to the limits on the originally selected size, go up 2.
Thrust load on a single row conrad bearing is roughly 1/3 the radial load.
Try to give yourself at least 1.5 service factor on any drive you design.
When a customer asks “how many ABEC’s your bearings have” tell him to take a hike and go someplace else.
I work at a vet’s office.
My “professional” rules:
-Don’t swear in front of customers. The human ones.
-If you don’t know the answer, look it up. Make them wait. Better to be safe than sorry.
-Write everything down, no matter how stupid or insignificant it may seem. Clients may mention something on the phone or in the exam room that they may forget to tell the doctor, and that info could mean life or death. You never know.
-Animal kisses are great. Always take a moment to get them.
-Always put a leash on an animal, dog or cat (unless the cat is in a carrier). The animal you are handling may be the best animal in the world, but the other animals may not be.
When I edited a medical magazine eons ago, I learned the most important thing about editing manuscripts submitted by non-professional writers was: the first page-and-a-half will consist of the author’s throatclearing and can be omitted; amateur writers bury their leads in the middle of page 2.
IT audit support.
(i) Don’t write it down unless you’re 100% sure. Someone will check it, maybe not this week, or this month, but eventually. This goes for memos, emails, everything.
(ii) If the client says they can provide evidence but it’ll take more than a couple of weeks, they’re lying. Either they perform the control, in which case identifying evidence should take a couple of minutes, or they don’t and are buying to time to make up evidence.
If you can’t sell an explosive radioactive derivative instrument to an unsuspecting pension or mutual fund in three bullet points, then it can’t be sold.
[and you wondered how it worked on Wall Street]
[hijack] I wish we could come up with another term to use rather than “rule of thumb” ~
I don’t like it because of the connotation that in ancient times a man could beat his wife with a stick just as long as it was no bigger around than his thumb.
[/hijack]
Growing up, I heard this one as “Measure once, then make sure.”
Back when I was a commission mechanic, “Do it right, and the speed will come by itself.”
Er, “Measure twice, then make sure.”
Boy, what a screwup.
The audience doesn’t know near as much about the subject as you do. Keep it short and simple. If you get asked a question you don’t know the answer to, say “I don’t know, but I’ll find out and get the information to you.” Then, actually find out and get the information to them.
Seemingly fine, upstanding people will lie to you in a heartbeat if it serves their purposes.
“May the Baby Jesus shut your mouth and open your ears.” Listen to the information that is being conveyed to you or the question that is being asked of you. Act accordingly.
The judge is the person in the black robes and it is his courtroom. He can run it how ever he chooses.
Prepare. Then, prepare again. After that, take 5 or 10 minutes and prepare some more. Finally, a little more preparation never hurt anyone.
Never, ever nail your foot to the floor. It hurts.
My personal rule: A clean tool is a happy tool.
When designing a project: design, design, design, and when you think its complete, design it some more (it’s really helpfull if you design it at the local bar IMHO, plus if the project makes good $$ you can deduct what you spent 
)
Shell out as much of the workload as possible. Give out critical parts of the workload to multiple people in case one can’t finish it or does a really bad job at it.
Backup, Backup, Backup, and Backup some more. Backup everything before each change/addition/phase of the product.
Thats just a few of them.