How, as a customer, can I make your job not suck?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Inspired by matt_mcl and his Please for the love of God do not order the pecan mudslide at DQ thread, I’m inspired to ask: what can customers do/not do at your workplace to make you a happy camper?

I’ll start off. My current job (copy editor) doesn’t involve any actual customer service (although it would be nice if authors wouldn’t go off on big rants every time we changed a comma to conform with our style guide), so I’ll mention a few things from the time I served at the Golden Arches.

If you are a McDonald’s customer, please, for the love of God:

  • If it’s lunch rush and there is a huge line filled with 20 or 30 people, do not let your kid order for you. It is really hard to give “service with a smile” when there are 20 angry people in line and your child is standing there with what you think is an endearing look on its face, mumbling, “umm… a cheese… uhh… no, chicken nuggets… uhmmmm…”

  • If you have separate orders (you’re ordering for three people, and all three want to pay separately, for example), don’t go through the drive-through. Two orders is hard enough; any more than that is nearly impossible for the drive-through register person to handle. Essentially when this happens, the drive-through person has to write down the amount and then make change in his/her head when the person comes through, because the cash register will only hold the info for one person’s order at a time, so you have to ring the first order through, pretend the person paid, ring the second order through, pretend that person paid, and then ring the third person through. When they actually arrive at the window, you say, “OK, Person 1, that will be $5.18”, and you have to make change from your head because at this point the register is actually displaying Person 3’s order. (I hope that made sense.)

  • If it’s lunch rush and, again, there are 20 people standing behind you in line, do not order a sandwich “to be made fresh” just because you know that the sandwiches sitting there on the line are stale. Hello, it’s the LUNCH RUSH, and the sandwiches are moving off the line practically as fast as we can make them. All that your request accomplishes is to make you stand there waiting for five minutes being a nuisance and holding everyone up while you get a sandwich that is microseconds fresher than the one you would have got had you not specified a special order.

I could probably go on, but this will only descend into a Pit-level rant. My time at McDonald’s scarred me, it did.

So anyway: how can people make YOUR job a little easier?

2

If you’re in a clothing store, there is no need to unfold all of the shirts to see what size they are. That’s what the sticker on the bottom right is for. If you want to examine the shirt more closely, go ahead, but it’s not necessary to do that in every size.

Also, never ask the sales clerk to guess your size. Never.

In a bookstore or library, either don’t reshelve the books (put them on the cart) or put them exactly where they were.

3

If you are a video store customer, don’t ask your Friendly Neighborhood Video Clerk, “What’s in that’s good?”

Cuz how the heck is he gonna know what you like? Duh!

People who do this simply want to know which of the latest releases are in stock at that very moment, but the way they put it makes it seem like you have to track down actual good movies… :slight_smile:

4

Don’t bring the cover box up front and ask, “Is this in?” We just have to file them back.

Don’t ask why we don’t carry a certain title, unless you’re talking to the owner of the store.

Don’t ask to fill out a membership form 10 minutes before the store closes.

If you are bringing back a video 10 minutes before it is due, don’t drop it in the box. Bring it inside the store and hand it to someone.

Use common sense when the store is jammed with customers. For example, Friday or Saturday night is not the time to attempt to unravel a complicated problem with your account.

Thank You.

5

I don’t mind you talking to me IF I"M NOT BUSY, but please don’t pretend you care how I’m doing, ect when it’s obvious that you don’t.
If you see me delivering pizza please don’t ask me if I have any “left over”, 99% of the time I don’t and it’s bloody annoying.
Use common sense. please don’t come ranting to me about things you hate about the store that you know I can’t change.

<Customer veiwpoint>
If your unsatisfied with the sevice, please be aware of the customers behind you. Standing there ranting for five minutes is just plain annoying to the people waiting.
Is it really that hard to fill out most of the check (except the amount) before you come to the store?

6

I have a couple from my business–not retail or food service.

If you are calling the hospital to check on a patient, please know the patient’s first and last name. Do not call and ask how “Mike” is doing. We have no idea which of the twenty individuals currently admitted named “Mike” you are checking on.

Conversely, also know the first name of the patient. I cannot find “Mrs. Jones” in a hospital that has over 400 admitted patients and several hundred more being seen on an outpatient basis. This also applies if you are checking on “Mrs. Bill Smith”. We do not list patients by their spouses names–they are listed by their own. We cannot find out which “Mrs. Smith” is married to Bill and which is married to Stan or Dave or Bob.

Also, when you mail a card to a patient in the hospital, realize that the odds are good that the person will be discharged by the time the card arrives and is sorted. Please do not cover the front of the envelope with huge writing or drawings, we must have someplace to write down the forwarding address so that the patient receives your lovely well wishes.

I’m sure I will think of more but that’s all for now.

7
  • Be civil. Even when you are dissatisfied with our service. I appreciate a good complaint. It helps us improve. But there’s no reason to be rude about it.
  • Your great plan to embarrass us with profanities won’t get you anything, except maybe a little eye-rolling from the other customers.
  • Don’t use the ‘Customer is always right’ line with me, especially when you’re wrong.
  • If you give it, be prepared to get some back. Don’t come in all nasty and short-tempered, expecting the sales clerk to be Miss Sunnydale. Her job is to serve you, and to do it politely and quickly. Don’t make remarks like if she’s unhappy to serve you then she should be working somewhere else.
  • Realise that customer service staff are people with feelings too. So don’t shout at the kid with the ‘trainee’ badge. Don’t shout at anyone at all.
  • Don’t say to me ‘I want to see your manager’. Dammit, I AM the manager!
  • If you hear about a book you think you might like, at least try to remember its title and author. Or at least some of its plot. I am not a mind-reader. And don’t blame us if we can’t immediately find what you want.

Despite all the pitfalls, I love my job. And I really like some of the people I serve. I have a mantra I recite - instantkarma’sgonnagetyou. Never fails to make my day.

8

When you decide you want to buy a video camera, and you have no idea which one you want, but you just have to have one for Little Susie’s Recital, please for the love of God, don’t wait until ten mins before the store closes to come in!
The sales associates at Best Buy are doing their VERY BEST to help you, and it may take awhile if you don’t know what you want. Do everybody a favor and give yourself at least an hour before closing to come bumbling in.

9

More video store stuff:

*Don’t ask “what new movies do you have?” We have a new release wall. If you want to know, just walk around it. If you’d like to know what’s brand new, specify “what movies came out this week?”

*Don’t argue fees when we’re busy. Most of the time, we can talk it over and reach an agreement. However, if we’re busy, it’s a lot easier to just say “I don’t think those are accurate, so leave them for now. I’ll take care of it later.”

*Stated above, but don’t bring up an empty coverbox and ask if we have it in. Believe it or not, we know the titles of most of the movies, and seeing the box won’t help us at all.

*If there is one or more person in line, don’t wait at another counter. People are assigned a specific job most of the time, and if there is nobody actually there asking for the next person in line, chances are you are inconveniencing them. If you are patient, someone will most likely offer to assist you. If you choose to wait at an empty counter, you might lose your place in line, and not be helped anyway.

*Don’t be a lazy, inconsiderate jerk. If you pick up a movie, then change your mind, either put it back on the shelf where you found it, or leave it at the counter. We probably run thousands of movies every night, a couple more won’t hurt. However, we have to make a special trip for every out-of-place movie we find.

*Don’t let your kids screw up the shelves. Every night, at least one person has to spend as much as 2 or 3 hours straightening each and every video casette in the store. Just one uncontrolled child can destroy an entire section.

*I understand if you really want to see a particular movie, you might want to call in advance and have us hold one. That’s cool, but don’t take advantage of it. You shouldn’t call 5 times in a day to see if it’s in yet. Sometimes you just have to play the odds.

*And finally, one that really doesn’t bother me much, but is rather just helpful advice for you. If you don’t have a membership, don’t get in line. Fill out the form first, then get in line. It’s really depressing to have to tell people who’ve been in line for 10 minutes that I can’t help them until they fill out the form.

10

If you are in a restuarant

-Don’t take your bad day out on your waitress.

-If you don’t have enough money for a tip, don’t go to the restuarant, or order to go.

-If you come in 5 minute before the restuarant closes please don’t sit down to eat. Please try to remember that it will take about five minutes to order you food, at least ten minutes to make it (usually more), and about 15 minutes for you to eat, leave pay and leave, and then about 15 more minutes to clean up after you. If lucky, the waitperson will get off forty-five minutes after he/she was suppossed to. Remember, Your waitperson as a life, he/she may have had plans.

-please don’t say “I’ll have the usual”. Unless you come in every day, chances are that you waitperson has no idea what your “usual” is, and this doesn’t really save all that much time anyways. If you always get the chicken chow mein, and know that you are going to get it again, just decline the menu and say,“I’ll have the Chicken Chow Mien please”

  • If the waitperson is the only one there and it is a busy day, don’t ask the waitress how his/her day is going. Chances are, he/she is about ready to pull his/ her hair out. You may get snapped at.
11

Be at your computer when you call me. I can’t help you troubleshoot if you’re in your car driving down the interstate.

Give me specifics. Don’t tell me your computer has been “acting a little weird.”

Write down error messages. “It said something about illegal” doesn’t help me very much.

Have a clue what kind of computer/printer you have. Know where your software and manuals are. It would even be cool if you knew where to find model and serial number.

Oh, and don’t make me feel like I have to reassure you when you say “Oh, I just don’t know anything about these stupid computers.”

Oh, well, this has all been covered before, but it felt good to give it out again.

12
  • Please do not use any of the following as your model for how you address your mail:

Bob Johnson
Minneapolis

Bob Johnson
Superior Street
Duluth

  • Special note. It’s actually quite important that we know what damn state you’d like to send your letter too.

  • If you feel inclined to send a letter to an asian nation, and choose to address the envelope ONLY with chinese / japanese / Korean / ??? characters, please bare in mind that if I can find you, I will kill you. Call me ethnocentric, but I have trouble telling where to send mail between the many wonderful asian nations when I get one of those babies.

  • PLEASE do not address a letter as though you were having a seizure while writing it. Believe it or not, some poor shmuck has to actually figure out what the heck you wrote on that letter. If you’re 80 and are really into using hard core script lettering that’s impossible for anyone born in the 20th century to read, it’s time to take one for the team and hold your breath for a while.

  • A quick word of helpful advice. When sending out a letter to one of your pals in the military, it’s really not necessary OR smart to include the person’s social security number on the letter (this is, believe it or not, common.)

And my other job (debate coach):

  • If you give your child shit because they haven’t won a trophy in debate or speech yet and even go so far as to make them doubt their intelligence because of it, I can personally guarantee you that the first trophy they do win will immediately be placed in your ass. Sideways. I will then take a picture of the x-ray and frame it, showing it to all parents who have this problem. This also goes for the assclowns who like to hang out on the sidelines of their kids soccer games and do assclown things (“YOU’RE BLOWING THE GAME!”)

Thanks, guys! I will never order a pecan mudslide.

  • Rog
13

Keep your freakin’ receipt! Don’t buy an item at Wal-Mart and take it to K-Mart for a refund. This happens A LOT. If you have no receipt and the store offers to give you store credit, TAKE IT! They do not have to give you your money back if they didn’t take it in the first place.

PLEASE do SOME kind of research about the item you want before you come in to the store. When you throw a bunch of “ums” and “ahs” at me, I will tend to think you are an idiot. If you really have no clue, tell me! I am there to help you and will be more willing to do so if you admit you don’t know what you want. Oh, and be prepared for a lot of questions. I have to ask them so that I can get you the item you want.

When you call me and place an order and I ask how many of the item you want, don’t say, “Give me 2 or 3”. I can’t put “2 or 3” on an order form. I’m gonna give you the higher of the two numbers.

If you are going to write a check, you should have a pen with you. I’ll let you borrow mine, but it isn’t a gift. I expect to get it back.

Also, don’t get your panties in a wad if I ask you for ID when you write a check. You’d be surprised how many bad checks I have to try and recover.

If you have a problem, ask for the manager. The cashier doesn’t run the store and isn’t getting paid to take your abuse.

If you screw up, don’t lie and blame a worker. Usually, a good manager will know you are lying, so don’t go calling for the head of a sales clerk because you are stupid. TELL THE TRUTH.

14

This is for fast food/resteraunts that have trays, specifically where I worked last year, Panerea Bread:

*Please, for crying out loud, do not just leave your tray at your table when there is a trash can/tray placer in sight. Yes I am (was) a busser and it’s my job to clean, but when you’re eating in a resteraunt where you’re expected to clean up after yourself, it’s very discouraging. And pllleeeeeaaaassseee pick up after your kids. How would you like it if I came into your house and did what you do? I once found a diaper underneath a table, for crying out loud!! (calm down)
*Please look around for items you need, instead of throwing yourself into a panic and wetting yourself because you can’t find the damn condiment table.
*Please do not take the little jar of honey at your table. It’s there for everyone. Same thing goes with the tabassco sauce and any other product where we only have one.
*I notice that the lemons are gone. I’m getting right to it.
*Don’t look at me as if I’m a complete idiot because the ice is gone from the fountain. That happens. It doesn’t refill itself. I will go refill it. Be patient.
*Women, don’t leave a ton of toilet paper strewn around the bathroom.
*Men, don’t look at me as if I were a freak because I’m cleaning your bathroom. Yes, I am a girl in the guy’s bathroom but the manager told me I had to clean it, it must be done. Besides, you shouldn’t even be here. We closed fifteen minutes ago.
*Customers, don’t look at me as if I were lowlife because I am cleaning the bathroom. And don’t stare at the trashbag full of paper towels that were used to clean the bathroom.
*Please do not go up to someone in line (where they make the food) and ask if your order is ready when there is obviously no orders on the counter and if there is, the order you’re asking for is different than from what’s on the counter.
*When ordering, please tell us right away if it’s “here” or “to go”. And when you rattle off your order at 1000 words per minute, please do not get pissed if we ask you to repeat it. We’re not robots.
*For the woman yuppie in the fur coat one night: don’t feel you need to quit eating here just because we don’t have salt shakers and just salt packages.

That’s all, for now. For now.

15

From my receptionist days (long gone, thank God), please do NOT do any of the following when you call an office:

[ul]

  • Reply to my greeting with “hello, how are you today?” My standard reply to this was always “Busy”. Get to the frigging point, I have other calls to answer.
  • Begin by saying “hello, can you hold for a call please?” This is so incredibly rude, I cannot even believe people do it.
  • Ask me to check if your fax was received (NEWSFLASH! Fax machines aren’t always at the front desk, and see below).
  • Ask me to find out if so-and-so is going to be on the phone much longer, or if s/he’d mind being interrupted to speak to you, or really, anything that would require me to get up from my desk (and thus leave the phones unattended, which I can’t do).
  • Give out to me because I don’t recognize your name, your voice, or the fact that you’re so-and-so’s wife and of course he has the number. These days it’s just as likely as not that I’m a temp and I don’t even know the names of the people I’m working for, much less their spouses’.
  • Give out to me because your phone calls aren’t being returned. I’m a frigging receptionist, I answer calls for the office staff, I don’t make them.
  • Make me wait while you decide who you need to speak to. Call back after you’ve made up your mind.
  • Talk to me on speakerphone. Yet another thing that absolutely boggles my mind that people do.
    [/ul]

There’s probably a few other things but the most important one to remember is a receptionist’s primary job is to answer phone calls and she (forgive the sexist language, but, let’s face it …) can’t do that efficiently if you’re taking up a lot of her time when you really don’t need to.

16

That’s great… if they all did that. But when I unfold a shirt, it’s because I can’t read the tag. Do you guys have a problem with visible tags? Or do you find pleasure in hiding it in such an odd-ball place that nobody who isn’t on crack can find it?

And when it comes to re-folding, I always try my best. I mean, I’m nice, I want to leave things as I found them. But I didn’t graduate from f*ucking ‘Retail Folding 101’.

How the hell do you guys fold that shit anyways? I can’t tell you how much time I’ve spent trying to fold those damn things back into their original order.

So what I do, after giving the scene a quick cursory look-see, is crumple it up and jam it back where no one will see it.

17

At the grocery store:

  1. It’s OK to change your mind about a purchase, but PLEASE, for the love of God, just hand it to the cashier and say you changed your mind. We will love you for that. We really will. If you can’t manage that, and the item is frozen or refrigerated, please return it to somplace with a similar temperature. As unusual as it may sound, 27 dollars worth of shrimp from the Meat Market WILL spoil if you toss it on top of the Ketchup section. More on this in a minute.

  2. If you MUST steal the bulk Pistachios, Walnuts, Pecans, etc, PLEASE have the common courtesy of dropping the shells in the floor. HUH? Yes, that’s right. If you can’t manage to put them in your pockets or one of the many trash cans around the store, just drop them in the floor so that we can simply sweep them up. We can’t possibly monitor every customer every second they’re in the store, so we will not see you drop them behind that box of Lucky Charms. Nothing is more disgusting than reaching for a pack of Kool-Aid only to see your pistachio shells in the display box, unless it’s me having to clean them up. (which I do by dumping them on the floor)

  3. The “Cash Only” sign means “Cash Only”. It doesn’t mean “Cash Only, except for YOU”. HOWEVER, you might be surprised at what a little courtesy can get you. Simply ASK “Can I pay with a check?” tell them you’re in a hurry or whatever. Say the word “please” once or twice. Don’t forget to say Thank you.
    About changing your mind and just putting the item wherever you happen to be at the time: the average grocery store chain operates on a profit margin of about 1%. When you toss a frozen or refrigerated item behind tha Chunky Beef Soup, we do not pay for it. That loss is passed on to the consumer. What if the item is not perishable? Someone has to put it back where it goes. That person is typically a sacker (“courtesy clerk”). They make about 8 bucks an hour at the store where I work. At an average-size supermarket, this is around 8 hours of labor per day. (Different sackers throughout the day. They tend to wander around a bit. Most guys have no idea where that particular shade of lipstick goes, and most of the sackers are guys. The sackers don’t wander around looking for things in the wrong spot. I pull them off the shelves at night. I’m a stocker. I make $11.25 per hour. This is not a good way to spend money, folks.
    The Cash Only sign. Hehehe. I was once a cashier in a supermarket. (Same chain, different city). They ALWAYS put me in the Express Lane during rush times because I was fast, accurate, and courteous too. Of course there was a credit/debit card machine in the Cash Only line. It required my cashier number to be entered before it would work. I NEVER entered my numbers. If I saw someone whipping out their credit card, I would simply appear to be concentrating on ringing up the order. The customer would swipe and swipe and swipe that card, looking at the machine like it came from Mars. Only when they said something would I come out of my trance. “OH! I’m sorry! This is the Cash Only line and I just plain forgot to turn on my credit card machine!” I sounded really sincere too. :slight_smile: I really was courteous. I really loved the customers who would go to the 15 Items or less/Check/Credit Card line and wait behind 15 people when my line was empty. I always called them over to my line. “But I don’t have cash.” Bless you. It’s OK, really it is. I can take checks and credit cards. Those were the people who kept me from strangling the others.

18

Please keep in mind that I can read, I can follow instructions, and I’m very likely more familiar with standard proofer’s marks than you are.

Do not hand me your carefully-marked-up document and then describe every marking on it to me, while I nod respectfully. “See here where I’ve crossed out this word? Can you delete that?” In the time it takes to have that discussion, the work could be finished. Accurately. Trust me.

19

I work the snackbar at a golf course.

*Do NOT order a hamburger, unless you want it microwaved. Grilling takes too long.
*I clean bathrooms also. Men tend to just leave toilet paper all over the floor…and the floor is some awful mixture that makes it hard to sweep…please pick it up.
*I only asked if you wanted chili or sauerkraut on your hotdog/keilbasa, not anything else. You get that yourself, and it’s right over there with the pop machine.
I’d list more, but it’s off to work!

20

Know what your thesis is. “I have to do a paper on education and I need 6 articles or maybe books” is not going to get you out of Periodicals in the next 5 minutes.
Don’t come in to do your research 20 minutes before closing. The computers go down at a set time.
Just because your teacher said the library is open until 4:30 doesn’t make it so. On Saturdays, it’s always closed at 4. Always. For the past 60 years. I know he said, BUT…
Although it’s modern times, but it’s still a library. Eat your SuperValue meals outside; I know you’re big kids now, but liquid on my keyboards is not condusive to their continued well-being. Ketchup thumbprints on pages does not make for a happy librarian.
The library is free. We don’t charge you to use our stuff. Be nice. This isn’t the student union. Don’t shout out to your buds, squeal animatedly into your cell or hurl curses at Yahoo. Shhh. It’s a library.