Okay, so I work in a bookshop, and in general, my customers are smart and intelligent and all good things, because, let’s face it, you have to be at least literate to want to go to the bookshop. However, sometimes they do stuff that drives me crazy. Since I am not allowed to tell them to get a clue, I am telling you all instead. It’s not really a rant, so I am posting this in MPSIMS and not the Pit.
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Please don’t get angry if I can’t find a book when you have no information on it. “It’s blue” does not count as information, by the way. (Notable exception: if the author appeared on Oprah. I will recognize the description of the cover of any Oprah book.) If you’re not really sure of the author or title, try to do a little search on the net before coming in. We at the bookstore will be eternally grateful.
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Please don’t get upset/insult me if I haven’t read the book you’re interested in. I work in the bookstore! We have thousands of books! Really, what is the likelihood that I have read the stupid trashy mystery that you’re thinking of buying? (I don’t even like mysteries, but I can’t tell you that, of course!) A few months ago, when a woman asked me if I had read a certain book and I replied that I hadn’t, she nodded and said, “I can tell you don’t read much.” It’s true, I don’t; after all, I haven’t read every book in the store yet. Unlike you, I’m sure.
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Please don’t walk away from me while I am leading you to the book you are interested in. (A customer did this to me today. She expected me to just go fetch it for her. I wanted to scream. I’m not your servant; think of me as your guide.)
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Please don’t walk away in the middle of a transaction because you suddenly remembered a book you wanted to get. Finish the transaction and then go get the book. I’m sorry if you have to write another check, but it is very inconvenient to leave the register mid-transaction.
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Please think for a moment before asking us where our “Amish” section is. (I swear, a lady asked for that a few weeks ago. I can see that maybe in Lancaster, PA, but this is Northern California.) We don’t have a “historical fiction” section, we have fiction. We don’t have a section on the Spanish-American War, we have a History section. It is not feasible to break up the bookstore into every little tiny section that you might be interested in, so don’t get upset that you might have to do a bit of hunting for a novel of the Spanish colonization of Mexico.
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Finally, don’t ask if we have that in paperback. With the exception of classics, if it’s there in hardcover, it’s not in paperback yet. It takes a year for a book to go from hardcover to paperback, and as soon as we get the paperback, we send the hardcovers back to the publishers. If I had a penny for every time someone asked me this, well, I’d probably have about 50 cents by now.
That ran kind of long. Wow. Okay, is there anything you would like customers at your place of business to know?