They seem to be much less expensive then therapists.
What is a “paid listener”?
A therapist isn’t supposed to just passively listen to you and nod sympathetically. They are supposed to challenge you regarding incorrect or harmful self-beliefs and give you insight into your behaviors that allow you to change your attitudes or worldview. If they aren’t doing that (and many are not very good at it) then you need to find someone who can.
Paying someone to just sit and listen to you without responding or challenging is essentially narcissism. It is why celebrities and self-impressed business moguls surround themselves with a cadre of “Yes Men” (or women) so they can avoid or ignore disagreeable ideas or criticism.
Stranger
I do not know myself – just read about it.
I guess someone I can talk to about my issues and subjects of my choice.
A while ago there was a movement or program or something of ‘mutual listening’ where you would agree to meet with someone, listen to them without doing much more than saying encouraging things and asking clarifying questions for a set period of time, and then switch. I forget what it was called. I bet things like that are still going. Money was not exchanged.
Seems like for many people a dog or other pet serves the same purpose, and are even cheaper.
Maybe, if you squint your ears, that sounds a little like Rogerian psychotherapy. Unfortunately I do not have much experience with it, but there is a handful of links to studies there.
It’s probably therapeutic for some people. The question is the cost, will the price be less than buying a few drinks at a bar and doing the same thing with the bartender? That scenario also uses a pharmaceutical solution to overcome the hesitancy some patients have in discussing matters with a therapist or listener. Unfortunately bars are mostly closed now, which is creating a problem by removing many people from their therapy.
This is similar to support groups. They are helpful also.
Some hired listeners charge $15 per hour. Some charge $50 per hour – exorbitant.
Do these “listeners” have any specific training and/or certification?
I do not think so.
Otherwise they would charge as much as therapists.
I myself am very new to the subject.
Listeners – $10 to $75 per hour. High end of the price spectrum is out of question for me.
I agree. Therapy isn’t just somebody listening to you talk. It’s having somebody who understands psychology listening to you talk and talking back to you and steering the conversation towards areas where you have problems.
I would only hire a paid listener if I was not suffering from a mental illness, but I still didn’t want to burden with friends/family my mundane droning-ons.
When I was depressed a few years back, I took myself to a psychotherapist. We have good chemistry and rapport, and she really helped me get through the worst period of my life. But I still continued to see her long after the depression left. Because while I was no longer miserable, I still enjoyed having someone to talk to and benefited from her support. I don’t have super close friends, and I do not desire having any. But I recognize that I still have a need for social interactions beyond those I get at work. “Catching up” with her every week or so filled that need.
She retired about three years ago and let her license lapse, but she rents office space and takes appointments with people who just want to chat. I drop-in every so often. Like, I just got presented with a leadership opportunity that intimidates the hell out of me, so I scheduled an appointment with her just to get some advice and encouragement. Yes, I could get the same from other folks–and indeed, I did talk to others about this. But I have history with my “paid listener” that I don’t have with others. She understands the nature of my fears and insecurities better than anyone else, so she knows what I need to hear. And because she is not a psychotherapist anymore, she can talk to me in more frank ways than she would have back when we first met.
I pay her $40 dollars for these sessions, which is a splurge to be fair. But I can well afford it, and I owe this (in part) to having a “safe” person I can talk to.
CCitizen, a paid listener probably isn’t the best solution for you, given what you have shared on the board, but I say give it a shot anyway. Especially if getting actual psychotherapeutic counseling is not possible for you right now. However, I would try to find someone who charges more than $15/hour.
This post may be treading close to your topic limitation (I don’t recall if it was an outright ban), but the first question you should ask yourself is if you haven’t tried any of the other similar suggestions people have made over the past 4 years, why would this be any different?
If I could afford a therapist, I would have gotten one.
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At least my situation did not get worse. Many people in crisis fall into drug use.
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4 years ago, videoconferencing was much much less developed.
Rent a Friend was 5 years ago.
I hear what you’re saying. It sounds like you’re having concerns about the high price of the service and the higher end prices are something you might not be able to afford.
That’ll be $25 please.
Psychiatric help 5¢
Charlie. I have deep feelings of depression… what can I do about this?
Lucy. Snap out of it! Five cents, please.