Inspired by Corner Gas:
“Shielded by the power of my supreme indifference.”
That’s one of my favorites. I can’t believe I didn’t think of it. I taught it to my kids when they were little.
When I notice anything extreme in any aspect, I say it’s the SECOND most thing. Big, small, old, smelly, ugly, loud, whatever. It goes right over many people’s head, which is even funnier.
Two from Charles Schulz:
I oughta slug you (when someone does something offensive) and SIGH (whenever appropriate).
And Calvin’s “What did I do to deserve this? Whatever it was I’m Sorry”
Inspired by Charlie Brown:
“Of course I’m going to my high school reunion. But first I’m going to flap my arms and fly to the Moon.”
Watching any documentary on Canada’s wildlife:
“Ah, the Majestik Møøse!”
My favorite Charlie Brown line:
(If I do something stupid/clumsy and end up on my back on the floor/ground and if someone’s nearby, I’ll say–)
“I think I’ll just lay here until the first snow comes and covers me up.”
When confronted by any bizarre foreign custom:
“Ils sont fous, ces Romains!”
(Without Googling, where is it from and what does it mean?)
When I want to edit something here but the server fails and I lose the window:
“Oh, thank you God! Thank you so bloody much!” :mad:
Actually the line goes:
OTTO: That’s bullshit You’re just a white suburban punk, like me.
DUKE But it still hu-hur [purges blood and dies]
El DeLuxo, who’s seen Repo Man so many times he’s lost count and *still *thinks it’s the best movie of the 1980s.
I say this so often I forgot it’s from Planes Trains and Automobiles. Just after ‘Those are not pillows!’
When there is an embarrasing silence/moment and/or the subject needs to be changed quickly -
‘What about those bears?’
MiM
I frequently use “Well, they can’t all be winners, can they?” from Bad Santa. And if someone asks me whether my wife and I have kids I might (depending on who I’m talking to) break out with “No, thank the fuck Christ!”
And anytime the subject of money comes up, I can’t help but blurt out “I like money!” from Idiocracy.
Same here with ourselves and another couple. Good one.
We do that!
Remember the show Coupling? Whenever we say “apparently” it is always the way Susan said it.
I always say “eventually” the way Manuel on ***Fawlty Towers *said it: “Even-tu-al-lee.”
When somebody says, “Hey, we made it thru the day without [bad thing] happening, I think or say a line from City Slickers.**
City slicker Billy Crystal rides his horse up next to that of badass cowboy Curly, played by Jack Palance. Crystal says, “Hi Curly, kill anyone today?”
Curly then uses the line I borrow, which wipes the grin off Crystal’s face: “The day ain’t over yet.”
My “catch phrase” is a tedious string of muttered obscenities, hopefully subvocalized.
Every time I approach it - “Take me to the middle of the George Washington bridge!”
Whenever I see any of my coworkers in a hat
“That’s the ugliest hat I’ve ever seen. Did you get a free bowl of soup with that? Looks good on you though”
-Caddyshack
Someone just posted a story on Facebook about the announcement of West Virginia’s first coronavirus death being, um, a bit premature (the patient was not actually dead) - which led inevitably to this.
When there’s a noise too loud to talk over which abruptly stops, it’s either “…until the handle breaks off and you have to get doctor to pull it out” (Wayne’s World) or “…covered in piss.” (Phoenix Nights)
At any point that a milkshake is mentioned, an excruciatingly long and drawn out reference will be made to the number of boys we’ll inevitably now find in the yard.