I am familiar with the joke that goes like this:
But I must ask: What is the punchline to “Do you have Prince Albert in a can?” Oh, and if you know the answer, I won’t assume you’re a jerk.
“Let him out”
As for why “do you have Prince Albert in a can?” would be considered a reasonable question, I direct you to this link.
http://pages.tias.com/4328/PictPage/1060466.html
Bear in mind this crank call could only be pulled off when calling a smoke shop of some sort.
Back when I was working my way through college at a QuikTrip convenience store, my two favorites that we got were…
-
Do you have salted nuts?
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Do you have cotton balls?
Who’s going to be first to post the obligatory comeback after the store clerk would affirm that we had that product?
E3
What do you think I am, a rag doll?
Close… I always heard: “What are you, a f*cking Teddy Bear?”
[Kenny Everett]
A little boy with a toy gun goes into a milkbar…
“I’d like an ice cream.”
“Would you like crushed nuts?”
“Do ya want yer tits blown off?”
[Kenny Everett]
That’s probably true, although many years ago I worked after school as night manager of an all-night supermarket. We’d get the refrigerator and Prince Albert calls from time to time and it was usually Beavis & Butthead on the other line, about 8 years old and giggling so hard at their comedic genius they could barely get the straight line out. If we weren’t so sick of the prank as to hang up, we’d generally tell the callers that the Prince was working back in the deli that night. Can’t remember anyone asking if my nuts were salty, though. What’s the punchline for that?
Me: Hello?
Kid: Is Mr. Wall there?
Me: Sorry. You have the wrong number.
Kid: Is Mrs. Wall there?
Me: There are no walls here. I live in a tent.
Kid: Uh… Uh… Well-if-there-are-no-walls-there-how-does-your-roof-stay-up? click
Shoot. Consider some ignorance fought here.
I always thought Prince Albert referred to a brand of canned sardines. I had no idea it referred to tobacco!
…I live in a tent…good one!
To a bowling alley: “Do you have 16-pound balls?”
To a fancy restaurant: “Do you have frog legs?”
Related to the frog legs thing – I was in a show some years ago where one character was supposed to prank-call the grocery store, ask if they had pigs’ feet, and then say, “Then how do you get your shoes on?”
Unfortunately, the actor had a tendency to say “Do you have any pigs’ feet?”
Jerk: Do you have salted nuts?
Clerk: Sure do.
Jerk: Man, doesn’t your girlfriend get thirsty?
“Waiter, do you serve crabs here?”
Now that Prince Albert of Monaco has retired from bobsledding, he no longer has to smile politely every time he’s asked about being in a can.
I think it was King Oscar sardines.
My older brother, then age 13, found a man named Peach in the phone book and called.
GARY: Is this the Apple residence?
PEACH: No, this is Mr. Peach.
GARY: Sorry, wrong fruit… (hangs up)
Am I the ONLY one who correlated “Prince Albert” with a certain type of genital piercing?? It really put a whole new slant to that whole “Prince Albert in a can” thing!
Max
My favourite one of these…
Waiter in Snooty Restaurant: Do you have reservations?
Customer: Yes, we nearly didn’t come.
Okay, so it’s old…
Sir, we serve everybody.
OR
Yes, sir, what would you like to eat?
One time I was calling around looking for pickled pork hocks. People on the other end could not believe that I would actually eat pickled pork cocks!