I was watching the Big Bang Theory and the running joke is that Raj and Howard really like each other.
It got me to thinking, OK I’m a gay male and I’m 46. And in my life I have come across, blacks, white, arabs, East Asian (China, Japan, Vietnam, Korea) people who were gay.
But I’ve never once ran into an Indian or South Asian that way gay. I would say South Asian as Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, you’re definition may vary
Obviously they exist, I’m just not meeting them.
I have met a lot South Asians, and some probably were gay, but I wouldn’t know.
So I just thought I’d ask, in your experience, have you known many gay Indians or form that South Asia region?
I know a fair number of Indians, and for whatever reason, India seems really homophobic, even by the standards of other developing countries. So my WAG is that Indian culture holds homosexuality as so taboo that even in the states Indians that would otherwise be openly gay either stay in the closet or repress their sexuality.
I think Indians in the US tend to be more likely to be first or second generation immigrants compared to other minorities, and even if India isn’t particularly homophobic, first generation immigrants tend to be more constrained by their native cultures and less likely to be openly gay.
Homosexual activity was illegal in India until last year. So I’m not surprised you’re not meeting a lot of gay Indians.
I was in India when the Supreme Court ruled that the law against homosexual behavior was unconstitutional, and I heard a few good-natured jokes about it, so I don’t know that people are really really super homophobic. (Although I was also hanging out with well-educated urban sorts, they may not have been very representative of the country as a whole.)
I once had a really poignant conversation with Tech Support (you don’t hear that too often). The guy I was speaking with was in Mumbai, and he was awed that I lived in San Francisco. He asked me whether it was really true that people could be openly gay here, and expressed a desire to move to San Francisco one day. I kept wondering what his supervisor would have to say about the personal nature of our conversation. He really seemed to view San Francisco as the promised land, and for him maybe it was. So there’s at least one gay Indian in a call center in Mumbai. I really hope he makes it here someday.
I worked with a 30-something unmarried Indian man three or four jobs ago who certainly pinged my gaydar, and the gaydar of some of the other Honkys (Honkies?) who worked there. Don’t know if he was born in India, he came to the US through Canada, IIRC.
I loathed him for many reasons, none of which were about his being Indian, an immigrant, or (possibly) gay.
I have known two. One was a friend in college, and the other is a professor in Fashion/Textiles at the same university. They were both out and seemed happy enough, but I don’t know how their families handled it. I’ve never really lived in a place with a big Indian population, though.
Come to think of it, of the hundreds and hundreds of Indian dudes I’ve come across in the US, I’ve never known an openly gay one. I’m sure that you would find some at gay bars in NYC. But it is surprising, since I know gay men of pretty much every other race.
I have known a few Indian girls who have had lesbian encounters. But even they professed to be hetero, and that the lesbian encounters were just “experimental”.
ETA: I just realized I do know at least one, who is a close family friend. I can’t believe that I forgot about him.
I’ve never really KNOWN any, but, as a cashier in San Francisco, 6 blocks from the heart of the Castro, I definitely met a few. I’d guess, however, that they are represented proportionally less in the gay community than in the straight community. WAG, YMMV.
Do you mean Indian from India or someone whose heritage is Indian? I’ve only known two gay Indian-born-Indians that I can think of (both female) but I’ve know loads of British-Indian/Pakistani/Bangladeshi lesbians and gay men.
I know a gay Indian. He’s in my WoW guild. He’s very “out” and a really nice and funny guy. He’s currently back in India (he was teaching in Canada) because his work visa ran out. He’s trying to get a new one so he can come back.
I agree with this - I’ve met plenty in London, though they’re mostly British born.
I have a friend who recently dated a Pakistani lesbian still living in Pakistan (she’s a journalist, so comes here a lot. I have no idea if she’s out in her homeland).
I know quite a few gay Americans who worked in India. They never had any problem finding companionship. It’s a lot more underground than America, but there are gay bars, gay porn, etc. I imagine it’s a lot like America in the 1950s.
You’d be hard pressed to find any corner of the world that doesn’t have some kind of gay scene. Even when homosexuality is illegal and dangerous, people find a way.
I met a gay guy in Delhi. He was gloriously, flamingly camp, and I once saw him coming back from a party, mincing down the street in a gold lamé suit. This was in 1999 before homosexuality was decriminalised in India. So yes, they do exist. Not sure how he evaded prosecution, though perhaps homosexuality was so underground at the time that this kind of behaviour wasn’t even recognisable as stereotypically gay by the general population.
I don’t think the rules against homosexuality where ever heavily enforced unless they had some other reason that they wanted to nab you- much like US sodomy laws. In any case, India is pretty well known for being reluctant to throw people in jail (although god help you if they do decide to.)
Working in IT I’ve worked with many Indians in America. I can’t think of anyone who was openly or I’ve even considered might be gay.
But on the other hand Most Indians seem very introverted about personal stuff. Many guys I’ve worked with for years, and had bar after hours with. But I have no idea if they are married, or even the simplest things about their personal life. None have ever mentioned a girlfriend, or boyfriend. And wives or husbands only get mentioned in the most required circumstances, i.e. “I have to go home early and drive my wife to the hospital”. Of course the women usually end up mentioning their kids a time or two.
But it really seems like a very strictly reserved culture about personal stuff.
