In this thread, some posters commented that they did not know what family members such as siblings and their spouses did as their jobs.
I was dubious of most such claims, but I came to suspect that such claims likely reflected different views of what it meant to “know what someone did.”
For me, it is sufficient to know - say - that someone works in an office for a big corporation in a certain industry, that they aren’t a “boss”, in the field in which they got their degree, or something along those lines. Or to know someone’s occupation, such as, “he’s an accountant”, “she works in banking.”
So I guess this thread asks two things.
First, how much info do you feel you have to know to think you “know what someone does.”
Second, by your own standard, do you know what your immediate family members/closest friends do.
Note, I’m NOT asking whether you really care what they do, whether you know what they earn, or whether or not you spend a lot of time talking about jobs.
Me - I think it entirely natural that I have a general idea of what those closest to me do for a living. I have 3 sibs, my wife has 2, and we have 3 kids. I have at least a general idea of what each of them and their SOs do/did for a living. My idea might be VERY general - such as when I said something about 1 BIL working in IT, and he took umbrage, b/c he does software development. Oh well - they both work w/ computers. That’s enough for me.
I do indeed know what my closest friends do and my siblings and In-Laws. I even know what several of the people on this board I’m friendliest with do.
Now my cousins? Not a clue, not a clue. One worked as a manager in retail, the rest are a mystery. Oddly, my wife’s cousins I know what most of them do.
It depends on how simplistic the job title is. Attorney, teacher, doctor, etc – sure. But when it comes to programming, IT, mid-level mgmt stuff, not so much.
I know what the people I’m close to do within certain bounds. For most of them I know about what they do what their latest problems are and have helped them solve problems in the past at work. The closer I am to someone the more I know about their job. The one exception is my best friend he is a major in the army and most of the time he refuses to do more then talk about worn in general terms. He is currently getting out and I’m helping him with his resume and learning a ton about his career so far.
Pretty much, although I’m sure my understanding is simplistic. My brother in law does “something with computers” at a company that makes banners and signs.
For family (my sister, my adult niece, my brother-in-law, etc.), yes, I know pretty much exactly what they do; similarly, I had a pretty strong understanding of what my parents and in-laws did before they retired.
I have a pretty good understanding of what my close friends do, too, though a lot of them work in IT, and I’m sure that I don’t grasp some of the specifics of their jobs.
So I don’t know exactly what my wife does as a Software Engineer but it is still basically Programmer/Analyst type work. I know roughly the system she works on. My BIL is a bigger mystery, he got himself into a consulting position of being a top troubleshooter for some specific software and only needed to work part of the year. But still P/A work in the end.
I know what my parents, siblings, in-laws and friends do for a living, with one exception. I have 2 brothers - one is a gastroenterologist. The other “does something with finances, maybe for a utility in Pennsylvania?”. His wife does something similar. It’s a running joke in the family - no one understands what he does. He’s swapped jobs out a couple of times in the last decade, but it’s always been a mystery. And he’s not a mysterious person - he’s your typical middle child who won’t stop talking when we all get together. I think people just stopped listening at some point.
I have three brothers-in-laws*. One of them lives out of town who I only speak to once a year at most. I’ve pretty much lost touch on what he does - he’s a mechanical engineer, but I don’t know who he works for or the nature of his specific work. I do know he’s required to go in to his workplace to do it.
The two that live in town I know as much about what they do as I think I could reasonably be expected to.
Hi Dinsdale, I think this is a great thread idea because for some of my previous job titles, most of my relatives had no actual idea what I did for a living / how I did it. However, flipping things around, I feel I have a pretty good idea of what all my various ranks of parents & siblings do for their jobs, having done “that kind of work” myself in many instances, including…
parenting
being a full time student as an adult
working an 8 to 5 office job as an engineering or marketing manager
I’ve seen some of them in action doing jobs I haven’t done myself, i.e. my step father is an Episcopal Minister and I’ve attended many of his services. Also my half-sister trains horses and I’ve seen her doing her thing in the stables. Meanwhile, two step sisters and I are all pursuing advanced degrees (two of us PhDs and the other, Law) while parenting and teaching so we all share similar experiences (while the actual content differs significantly).
There’s one in this bunch whose work I don’t fully understand, and that’s my step brother, who runs a contracting company. I think his group installs propane tanks or something like that. I am not certain how much of the work is “getting customers” vs. “doing the mechanical work” vs. “administration” i.e. paperwork, ordering office supplies, hiring / firing, etc. No clue; would be interesting to tag along with him sometime. Except, he and I don’t really get along.
To answer your question #1, I think one needs to have seen the person doing their thing, or at least have it explained in enough detail that you can visualize all of it.
My wife knows that I am an engineer, but she doesn’t really understand what I do. My kids get it. My wife doesn’t. When my mother was alive, she didn’t understand what I did either.
I know what my sister does. I know what all of my in-laws do. I know what all of my aunts and uncles do. I know what most of my cousins do, and the ones that I don’t know live in another country and I haven’t seen them in a few decades. I know what my neighbors do. I can’t remember what all of my neighbor’s kids do. I only remember about half of those. I don’t know what any of my cousin’s kids do.
For the ones that I do know, I know not only their occupation but I also know exactly what they work on, for the most part. For example, one person is a lawyer, and I know he defends medical insurance companies against lawsuits (it’s not just a vague “he’s a lawyer”). Another lawyer deals with family court type issues. My neighbor is a plumber, and he mainly does new work (i.e. they are building a new house and need a plumber to install the pipes, etc). Another neighbor is a retired school bus driver, and another is a retired county sheriff (again, not just a vague “police officer”). For the ones whose profession I know, there aren’t any that I only have a vague idea of what they do.
As for what they earn, I don’t know and don’t care. With some professions you can make a rough guess, but it’s not something that I generally even think about.
Not much of my family left, but I know what they do. Not the specifics. I know my younger sister works in a Infinity dealership in the office and does warranty work stuff and does the deals paperwork, but not the particulars. Older sister is an asst bank manager. Not sure what that entails, and my brother in law works for IBM. Not sure what he does exactly. Niece is a student at college in some aspect of the medical research field.
They know what I do but not the particulars. They know I make books (page layout on a Mac and design work), but they don’t know what it entails exactly.
My wife is a writer, my older daughter is a professor and my younger daughter does project management, so I’ve had exposure to all those jobs and understand them. It helps having worked in big companies.
I’m not sure that any of them understood what I did before I retired, but when my older daughter and I wrote papers together she did some background reading and maybe had some idea.
Pretty much understand what my sons-in-law do also.
The question is more subtle than it appears at first glance. If the only thing you know about me is that I’m an attorney, you don’t really understand what I do any better than someone who doesn’t know the difference between working in IT and developing software. Knowing what someone really does all day at work is more about understanding their line of work than it is about knowing them well.
I know my family members’ job titles. That’s it. For instance, my brother is a finance manager/financial analyst. I have scarcely the slightest clue what that entails.
My father spent much of his career doing electrical-engineering work, and I don’t know what that’s like either. Maybe drawing up chip designs.
My other brother is in med school and becoming a doctor soon, which at least gives more of a mental idea of what that involves.
I have seven siblings and up to seven in-laws (not sure on one of them). It varies. For example:
I think they work for customer service at (well known place)
I think a school teacher
Does various jobs that stay at home spouses do; real estate, Mary Kay, etc.
Some sort of manufacturing job somewhere.
I have no clue.
I know what my kids and son-in-law do , what my siblings and siblings-in-law do and what my nieces and nephews and their spouses do. I even know what most of my first and second cousins and their spouses do for a living although there are a few that I only have a general idea of - I know they work for schools and aren’t teachers but I couldn’t tell you if they’re cafeteria workers or attendance clerks.*
I also know what close friends do for a living.
I do know why they have those jobs, though. Their husbands are self-employed and the only reason the wives work is for health insurance and other benefits. If it wasn’t for that , they wouldn’t work at all.
Not that many siblings or siblings-in-law so I know what they all do in detail. A growing number of friends have retired but I knew what they did before. If I don’t know what a friend does for a living they’re not all that close, and probably haven’t had stable careers.
I know what most of my friends do. I know what type of work it is and who they work for, if not self-employed.
I have a vague idea of what my siblings do, but I don’t really know. (my brother does something IT related for somebody, and my sister is some kind of government contractor)
Conversely, my friends and family don’t really have any idea what I do. The most anyone really knows is I work for a DoD contractor.
