I can have a good time at the beach (briefly), but mostly I associate it with cancer, dirt, heat, and not liking how I look in a bathing suit. Can we just check out the bar across the street?
I’m definitely pro-beach. We used to go every weekend, usually both days, in the summer (south Jersey). I like just sitting and reading (very important to have a good book). When the waves were good (pretty rare) I’d stay in the water for a long time body surfing. Its walking distance from our house so not much effort involved. But a few years ago I had two melanomas removed and, even worse, got a boat. I stay pretty lathered up in sunscreen and always wear a shirt and hat. The boating life is way more expensive than beach sitting - beer, ice, waterfront restaurants and bars, dock fees etc. but all our friends had boats so we needed one, too. We didn’t sit on the beach once last year and only once or twice the year before.
I love a nice clean, non-crowded beach with warm water.
I prefer backpacking in the mountains. Love sitting by a fire alone and enjoying the view.
Beaches are crowded. I wouldn’t enjoy them. Unless it was a private beach. Sitting by a nice fire on a chilly evening, playing guitar. Singing. A cooler of beer. That would be fun.
Private beaches are rare to find these days unless you have very rich friends.
I tolerate the beach once or twice a summer. I hate sunburn, so I’m under a beach umbrella most of the time, with a t-shirt on. I hate the whole sand sticking to me thing, whether it’s because I was in the water or because of the sun block spray. I basically sit in the shade, staring at the water and listening to my music, waiting for my wife to say she’s had enough.
I can fix that, i have a patented technique, i will teach it to you.
Repeat after me
“I Dont Care”
Just keep repeating it, i promise it works, i use it all the time. 
Yes, I love the fucking beach, I remember my last time going to it, the water and swimming was fantastic.
I especially loved all the sexy, apple-bottomed, curvaceous and big-busted women in bikinis who also go to the beach. Makes for some good sightseeing and company.
I love the beach. I love it so much I go to the beaches in northern Massachusetts. I love the sand, the sun, the water, everything.
No more nude beaches for you.
mmm