Yes, I REALLY love my spouse. With the kind of love that grows all the time. He’s definitely my closest friend and he is the only person that actually really knows me. I am still amazed that even though he does know all about me, good and bad, he still loves me.
We used to sit around and play a “game” where we would each think of things about ourselves that we hadn’t told each other and spill the beans. Eventually, there was nothing left to tell. That’s how well he knows me.
Conversation, sex, companionship - all the most wonderful things. He’s gorgeous and incredibly smart. Okay, enough already…to answer the question, yes I really love my husband.
I not “REALLY” “in love” with my husband. I never was. I never had the feeling of puppy-dog infatuation that I associate with Hollywood style-love with him. Been through it with other men. Not him. Infatuation burned itself out with the other guys, and after the flame was gone there wasn’t much left. With him, it was a friendship that only grew deeper with time.
I love him deeply.
He is my best friend.
He knows me better than anyone else.
I am typically a person who needs time alone, away from other people. However, he is the one person on Earth I can spend every minute of every day my life with, and never grow irritated or bored.
There are moments when I lie awake at night just so I can look this woman who decided to share her life with me and am thankful beyond words.
We just got home from a three day expedition to the mountains and all I could think of on the drive home was how good it would feel to be sleeping in my own bed and just hold Lola until we fell asleeep.
The trip was wonderful, we both recalled and shared stories of when we were children and our parents took us to Banff. Our parents must have loved us very much because taking kids on vacation means that mom and dad will need a little vacation of their own. I just want to have Lola all to myself for a few days as we were so busy with the kids we didn’t have much time to spend with each other.
So Lola is sleeping and I’m sitting here waiting for the littlest Feynnling to get unwound from the trip and fall asleep. She’s as exhausted as I am but the effects of exhaustion on a one year old differ markedly from what happens to her 35 year old dad…
I think I will get what I’ve been looking forward to all day as the princess has finally fallen asleep in my arms. If I’m really careful I should be able to tuck her in without waking her and then who knows? Maybe Lola isn’t sleeping which makes it so much better when I tell her that I REALLY love her.
I have said this often but it bears repeating… she blows my mind.
Well, I suppose it’s up to me to add some counterbalance to this before we get too goopy and syrupy.
The answer is no.
For various reasons we know we’re not right for each other and know now that we got married more out of lonliness than love. It’s also much easier to stay together for the kids’ sake than to dramataically split up, although the possibility has been mentioned more than once lately.
