and what was the outcome?
I’ve loved a lot of guys for different reasons but I’ve been “in love” (crazy, I’d do anything) type twice.
I’ve been married twice, not to the men I loved.
Three times
1 - Friend - locked in the friend-zone. It didn’t have a chance.
2 - Fiance - she had trouble keeping her legs together around 2 other guys
3 - Mrs. Bubbadog - 30yr anny coming up soon
Twice.
1st - she wanted to see other people and we eventually just drifted apart. We were young. At least she was honest about it.
2nd - She was older and from a very “proper” and religiously conservative southern family in Georgia and she was afraid her family would not approve of me. After we had been together about 2 years she went back home for a visit and had to sneak out of the house to call me so her folks wouldn’t find out about me - I kind of got the hint that there was no future there.
Once.
To Mrs.Fop. I literally never dated anyone for longer than a month before meeting her. I met her 2 weeks before my 27th birthday. There were a lot of one-night to one-month stands before that.
We have been married 15 yrs now.
Would have made a good poll, Becky2844-oh well…
Once. Met her as a teen, and for several summers we would do everything together-games in the pool or surf, music (we both loved Elton John), boardgames, you name it. We’d often finish each other’s sentences, do things together spontaneously and improvisationally, etc. We were opposites in a lot of ways tho-me the emotional one who wore his heart on his sleeve, while she was much more reserved. She once came across me crying in bed-about her, as it turned out…
But when not with her I was an absolute wreck, my psyche in shambles from my upbringing + peers, and, right when things started heating up, I did some idiotic things, her overprotective father (she was a 2nd generation immigrant from an Asian country) then stepped in and told me to lay off of her, or else, and at that the magic was completely gone.
That was that, until I discovered some songs that she wrote about me (one of which was about said bedroom incident) late in 2012 (she moonlights as a folk singer-songwriter), I then tried to reconnect-and she blew me off. What can you do. <shrug>
Once. 25 years later and we’re still going strong.
Once. Like tonyfop, I never dated anyone more than a month or so prior to meeting her. I was her first real boyfriend. We dated/were engaged for a total of 7 years and have been married for 25. We knows what we likes!
Three.
Two different girlfriends in college.
And especially Mrs Hargraves after 30 years.
Three times, married one of them.
None of them ended well, but mostly after a long and happy few years.
Once. Married to her for 12 years and divorced for 10. We have recently reconnected and are working at getting back together.
I have had several relationships before and after her but never experienced the same intensity
Three. That was twice too many.
3 times…one time too many.
Four times. The last one was the charm; we’re coming up on our 23rd wedding anniversary.
The tricky part is, people mean very different things by ‘falling in love.’ For instance, “crazy, I’d do anything” per the OP has nothing whatever to do with what I regard as ‘falling in love.’ But I’ll leave it at that.
Four serious times (I’m not counting one-sided infatuations).
First I met when volunteering on an archaeological dig in Israel as a teen, and we went out … but she lived in another country, so that had a sadly natural short life-span. She went home as did I, and that was that.
Two were to women I knew as friends. One friendship we screwed up, by (well) screwing.
The other, now wiser, we didn’t, and she remains my best friend, and I still love her - only not romantically. She’s married now, and I was “best male bridesmaid” at their wedding, and she is godmother to my son.
Married the last, and I’m still married; been married now for 19 years.
Once, married to each other for 20 years then divorced 25 years ago. We have remained close friends but no consideration of going back at least on my part.
Somewhere from 0 to 3 times. I don’t know the difference between “love” and “in love”.
Once, for that giddy, everything is wonderful and the world is singing sort of feeling. It turned out not to be real, more of a midlife crisis (at 37).
I love my current SO, I would (probably) sacrifice myself in an emergency to save his life, but this is a very different feeling from that. Quieter, steadier, and longer lasting.
Roddy
To my mind, the difference is reciprocity - if I’m “in love” it means I love another (whether or not they love me), whereas “love” is the state of my beloved and I each mutually loving the other.
I’ve been (mutually) in love twice. First with my ex-boyfriend of 7 years, now with my boyfriend of about two years.
I’ve had a couple fleeting crushes and dated one other guy for a month or two, but I’ve only ever cared for those two.
There is an element of physical passion withmy current boyfriend that was missing with my ex, but I wasn’t any less devoted back then. I have ‘over-commitment issues’ if anything.
Twice. Married them both.
I have great taste in men. 