I’m a new Doper, so if this isn’t the correct forum to post this question, my apologies in advance. Now on to the question. :>
I noticed recently that on some commercial or TV show (I wasn’t actually watching the tube, just listening to it while cleaning the house) someone made a blanket statement, “We’ve all been in love at one time or another” and I thought to myself, “Wrong! :P”
I’ve never been in love (or even near it), and I’ve often wondered what it’s like, really like, to be in love. I’ve heard about that first rush of adreneline and hormones during the infatuation stage. But what’s it like after that hormonal high lessens? What’s real love like?
Help me out here, oh teeming millions of Dopers who are or have been in love, and let me know what I’m missing out on.
Um, this is an unasnwerable question based entirely on opinion… expect it to be moved…
For the most part, though, I’d describe the feeling as “terrible.” Generally because everything else in life stops being so important, you suddenly have the foresight of a brick flying through the air, you build up dependency, etc etc. But it is kinda fun at the time.
Ah, the age old question, “What is love?” If there was definite answer, then it would be easy to recognize, but it is not. Love is different feelings for different people. Only you can tell how truly happy/content/pleased you are with your feelings of adoration for another individual. I think too often people mistake their feelings for love, not knowing that eventually those initial infatuation type sensations do fade.
Although there is no perfect system or test to find out if what you have really is true love, I have found that what works for me is to see how much I miss the person when they are away. By this I don’t mean initially, when you can’t keep your hands off the other person, but after you have been in a relationship for a few months or more. Ask yourself if you are happy only when you are with them, and when they are gone, do you really, honestly long for them or are you just as content doing your own thing.
Love is great.
Falling in love is like a rollercoaster ride - being in love with a person who returns that love is kinda like a quiet boat ride down a beautiful river - a lil bit floaty, relaxing - look out for the rapids! ok, quiet again… stop off for a nice dinner - clean the boat up hold on, I guess this is the married life part.
I’m enjoying it, for one. I have spend almost no part of my life where i was not in love or infatuated and (though I’m sure some might urge me otherwise) I wouldn’t change it for a thing.
Being the kind of guy who develops crushes at the drop of a hat (:smack: ) I may not be the best person to answer this, but love is when you genuinely want the best for the other person, not just in some vague, altruistic way, but you really are willing to throw it all away to make them happy.
I am deeply in love with my husband,Drachillix and it is safe and warm and real and solid. And scary and annoying and tiring. It’s work to love an adult.
You might find yourself seeing the world around you with fresh eyes…noticing the sunbeams shining under your feet on a early morning stroll…smiling at the slightest opportunity…feeling fully charged with energy…having wonderful warm thoughts about not only your love, but lots of other humans.
You may have no appetite, or be ravenous. You might be considered manic one hour, and depressed the next. Spending time with the lover is more important than anything else. You can spend lots of time just looking at the palm of her/his hand.
You sing in the shower, the car, and on the way to the hospital. You think you can write poetry…and do, even if you know it isn’t very good. You prize the little things that you’ve shared.
You are capable of feeling anxious, and jealous at times…for perhaps irrational reasons.
You do silly things just for the pure delight of it…running together in the rain, or driving to the beach at midnight to see the phosporescence of the waves…
You change your focus from yourself to the other person. You wish only the best for them, and you hope, you.
Love is a delightful, and sometimes painful form of craziness. It can be grand, or not.
sunstone : That sounds like one of my world-famous crushes–only I’m the only one who feels like that. When I find somebody who feels like that about me at the same time, then I will know I’ve got a keeper.
When I am with my girl, all is right with the world…there is nothing I can’t do and my heart beats a mile a minute. When we’re apart, I feel lost. It’s just a shame she doesn’t feel the same way sniff.
Still it’s better to have loved and lost…blah blah blah blah!
I’m in love with someone who is in love with me. Yes, all the love songs on the radio make perfect sense to both of us. We’d be just as happy in each other’s company watching paint dry as we would be out doing exciting stuff. We’re completely enthralled with each other and friends frequently catch us just gazing into each other’s eyes and sighing uncontrollably. We make up silly nicknames for each other that make our friends nauseous when they hear them. We have to pinch each other sometimes just to remind ourselves that this is real.
Our favorite word is “Wow”. I remember falling in love when I was 15 (or what I thought was love at the time). The first day I felt like I was floating, but it subsided fairly quickly. Now, 15 years later, I have the floating feeling all over again, but it’s been going on for a month now and is showing no signs of letting up (the relationship 15 years ago barely lasted three weeks).
I feel completely insane, but at the same time completely grounded because of how this person makes me feel every second we’re together. We feel complete when we’re together. My heart races when I think of him. I’ve been smiling so much for the past couple weeks, everyone around me has noticed a difference and has commented “wow, you seem so happy!” Everything about him is beautiful to me, and he makes me feel like a princess just with the way he talks to me, listens to me, looks at me, touches me. The entire world has seemed so much more beautiful in the past month since we found each other than it ever seemed before this happened. Even the monotony of work has been made sweeter by these amazing feelings.
I have been in reciprocal love for 18 months. I think of him when I first wake up. I actually wake up happy and eager to start my day. I think of him as I fall asleep every night. I think of him at least once every 5 minutes. I glow in his presence. Whenever anything worthwhile happens to me, I wish he could be there to share it with me. I feel like he is on my side of the line in the sand against the world. I can always depend on him to listen to me and react without judgement. There is nothing I can’t tell him - he knows me and accepts me- the real me - exactly as I am and would never change me (and vice versa). I never have to put on an act for him. What other people would call his faults are not faults to me. When I am with him, even if we do the most mundane of tasks, I feel whole and complete. This is the most amazing sensation in the world. You don’t realize how empty you feel until you have felt this all consuming wholeness. When I am not with him, I long to be with him, but not in th eleast bit of a desparate way. I trust in him and still feel happy knowing he is thinking of me where ever he is as well.
I feel lucky that such a perfect man for me exists and that he feels the same way about me as I do about him. We have had some rocky times, but when we have tried to take a break, we just can’t. We can’t stay away from each other. Yet for as well as we know each other, it is always interesting and surprising. He can always make me laugh, and I can always make him think, tell him things he never knew he never knew. I put his needs before my own, but not in a conscious way. If he is happy, I am happy. This does not work when things are not 100% mutual, obviously.
And did I mention the amazing sexual connection that comes with such love? Can you say multi-O?
Love is what keeps you together when infatuation fades.
I feel loved when my husband goes out in the cold to warm up the car so his “two ladies” won’t freeze. This is so much better than flowers! Love is making the towels take a tumble through the dryer in February while your spouse is in the shower just so they get toasty towels at the end. Love is holding hands unconsciously while you walk and having teenagers smirk at you.
Love is work too and compromise. It is not always saying everything you are thinking at that exact second. Playing a game you dislike in trade for him watching a movie he dislikes with you.
People mistake the movies for love but the movie fades long before the baby adds a few pounds to both your frames and the dishwasher breaks and the car has a flat and he’s late for work.
We look back happily at the past we shared and look forward to the future we are planning but always remember to relish today too!
My husband is my best friend. I tell him everything. He really listens and I return the favor. When you trust someone this completely it is quite liberating. We know we are never alone in any matter/decision.
After 11 years somehow it still feels like the honeymoon never ended and we still make time to be just us together after the munchkin goes to sleep. The best part of the day is when he comes home from work and my daughter bounces off the walls and he scoops her up and gives me that smile. All is right with our world and I hope we will be in love forever.
hold on, I guess this is the married life part.