I’ve been dating this guy for about a month and last week, he told me that he loved me.
Now, I know that it’s a great thing to be loved, and maybe I should have been thrilled, but my first response was “why?”
I mean, I know I have a sparkling personality, but seriously, what have I done to make you fall in LOVE in one month’s time??
Now, maybe this is just my cynicism talking, but I don’t believe true love can reveal itself that quickly. Infatuation, yes…Lust, definitely. But not real love. This got me to thinking about the nature of love, and the different ways that people view it. When I asked him, his response was something like: Think of a glass full of water (or whatever). My love for you is on the surface, it hasn’t gone too deep yet, hasn’t made it all the way to the bottom, but it’s still love”. Now, if that made sense to anyone, raise your hand. :dubious:
I guess for me, real love is not a “surface” thing. For me, it’s an all or nothing situation. I can’t love somebody a “little bit”. That doesn’t compute for me.
I have an ex “friend” who once told me that he didn’t want to ask questions or find out too much about me because he didn’t want to fall in love with me. When I pointed out that he had made it pretty clear that he didn’t really care about anyone but himself and would probably not care if he ever saw me again, he said “yeah, but I could still love you and not care about you”. :rolleyes: WHAT???
So, I’m beginning to wonder if I’m in the minority here. Does everyone else have such a blasé view of love that they just fall in and out of it at the drop of a hat? Is basic caring not a prerequisite for love anymore??
I’ve also given some thought to the fact that I may not even recognize real love if it hit me in the face. I’ve been in so many crappy relationships, that I don’t think my heart is even open anymore. Hell, I could be in love right now, and I don’t even think I’d know it. I don’t want to be that way, but I think it’s a subconscious thing. Defense mechanism, I guess.
What do you define as real love? How do you know when you ARE in love? How long does it take to fall in love? Is love at first sight real?
I know that a lot of people will say that love has no timetable and that you really can’t say how long it will take, but this one month thing has gotten me kind of confused.
Any anecdotes or opinions are welcomed and greatly appreciated.