How does love work?

Great Debates
1

I know my last one said it was overrated.

However the real question on my mind is how does it work exactly.

Different branches have a view as to what it is, from what I read:

Spirituality: Eastern such as buddhism sees it as attachment, some call it twoness and that the goal of some practices is to achieve oneness. My thoughts are that if they say love is “two” then being one with all would remove it. Is that good? Why do they value that state? That is also what they refer to as illusion.

There is the chemical aspect of love. Even in the last thread I posted how the guy said that you love the concept of maternity and not your mother. The same way it would suggest we love the traits people display but not them. Yet something about that doesn’t seem accurate.

What do we love about ssomeone? WHy and how? Why is it important?

2

It doesn’t work ‘exactly’. There isn’t a precise answer to your question.

It can be broken down into a big heap of pieces which will undoubtedly sometimes include fragments such as infatuation, reproductive/sexual urges, empathy/sympathy, social bonding, inertia of tradition, insecurity, protective instinct etc, but don’t expect to understand it by taking it to pieces. It’s a Gestalt phenomenon (IMO) - go look up Gestalt Psychology.

3

Wait…Buddhism sees attachment as love? Er, um, this Buddhist says, NO it does not. Your understanding is way, WAY off. You should refrain from discussing things you fundamentally do not comprehend, such as the Buddhist concepts of attachment and oneness, neither of which have anything to do with romantic love.

(Your every thread reminds me of that Joni Mitchell quote, “It’s hip to be miserable when you’re young and intellectual.”)

4

To me personally, and what I get from scriptures, Love is God (1 John 4:8,16) and God is One (Mark 12:32, Gal 3:20), thus Love is One. Which means practically speaking that a person can notice the loving acts of others not as individual semi-random unrelated acts, but a coordinated effort, that all those individual acts of Love are that of a higher being working through different people and different events and the like (also animals).

God’s ability to work through humans (or the Human Heart), had to do with the ability for God to enter the Human Heart and work through the person. To this there is a battle within the human heart (and the reason for suffering), Therefore God can only enter the hearts of those who via free will allow it. To the degree, or one may say percent, that God has entered that heart God’s loving coordinated effort can work through that person, and that person is acting as God, Jesus, or whoever has allowed this including people of many faiths.

This is the basis of the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of Love is God’s ‘spirit’, or essence, it becomes one with us and God with us and in us. This is from the Christian Faith, but I am only using it as a example as I know that the best, but others also have that including the Eastern word Namaste meaning the god in me greets the god in you. It is also the basis of the concept of the trinity, which is Father, Son and Holy Spirit are one in the same, as it is the same essence. Also this trinity, scripturally, should be 4 fold and include the church, as Jesus marries the church, thus the two become one via marriage, and that’s the message of Jesus, we are God’s children (thus the same spirit).

Practically speaking how does one experience this? Many times people have to put themselves (or be put into) in a different life situation to realize this One Love, that Love is coordinated and not separate, is to take a journey or pilgrimage (or some other ways including hardship life changes, etc.). One does not even have to consider that it is a pilgrimage to be a pilgrimage, but one has to be open to ‘receiving’ which God can force this situation of being willing to receive in some cases, if God wants to.

One such way I saw how coordinated Love is is when I was thru hiking the Appalachian Trail. There were many examples where Love appeared to be not random but directly coordinated. One of many examples is one time I was short 2-3 days of food needed to make my next resupply (reason: error buying enough + increase in appetite that happens at about the 3 week mark). This was the only time I was so short of food (2 times I was maybe a single meal off - those times also were made up for also). I did not ration as I knew God would provide (I was open to receive, knew I would somehow, and did not try to do it on my own). Next morning I met some college students who hiked up the mountain for a party the night before who were just getting up. They called me over and asked if I would do them a favor. They packed in lots of food for the party and were not looking forward to packing it out and asked if I needed any food If I would please take it. I got a full 3 day resupply in the middle of the woods at the single time that I messed up my food. It was also reciprocal as they were also very thankful as I was, so thanks goes to God for that coordination, for watching over me, seeing my error and correcting it by coordinating my route to be there at that exact time to receive His Love from hearts He can work through.

Also a question about soulmates or that one special person. Much of this I am still figuring out, but scriptures say Divorce is allowed because you hearts were hard (Matt 19:8). That hardness of heart is hardness of heart towards God, not really that partner, though also because both are children of God, would also be. In other words you didn’t really know God, and didn’t welcome God into you heart when you made the choice of partner, so you married the wrong person. But it also says ‘it was not that way in the beginning’ as with one spirit, you would marry correctly and there would be no need for divorce. This is why God hates divorce, not the act, but it meant that we, his own children’ did’t allow Father God into our lives and heart before making such a critical decision and that is a hurtful act towards a loving parent.

Just a further note, Although God can work through anyone, God will chose to work from hearts that have given themselves to Him (or to Love as that’s the same), and many people have not truly opened their hearts, they don’t freely give but expect compensation of some sort, or are reserved, but with practice experience a person can recognize those who freely give are the children of God and have God’s spirit, and in Christian terms have seen Jesus, or God in us.

5

Baby do not hurt me,
baby do not hurt me,
any more.

6

It’s not clear to me that the OP was singling out romantic love specifically.

There are different “kinds” of love, with different Greek words for the different kinds. Did the OP have one in particular in mind, or was he talking about “love” in all its various forms?

7

Do you want us to show you?

You know we can show you.

8

Soooo…What about atheists who love? Just not as good in your eyes?

9

Not for free. But for $100 I can show you all kinds of love.

10

How does love “work?”

You like someone.

You really like them.

You really, really, really like them.
Next question?

11

No they fine too, bless your heart.

12

So it is possible to love someone without the assistance of any supernatural beings?

13

No, but it’s possible to love without the knowledge of or belief in a supernatural being, but would require such assistance as that love is god.

14

Got any evidence for this particular religious belief?

15

I’m sure neuroscientists have some good information about what happens in the brain when you feel love. However most of what I’m seeing is about romantic love.

I once read in a book about affective neuroscience that the neurology for love evolved from a reptilian sense of attachment to a good spot to lay eggs. So there is that.

16

Assistance from god to love? So people who’ve lost that loving feeling… abandoned by god’s assistance?

Do you have evidence for “love is god” or are you just witnessing?

17

John witnessed God is Love in 1John 4:8,16. I’m just relaying his message. My witness is in my 5th paragraph of my first posting of this thread (post # n/a in reply mode). In my witness I have found that Love is not random of of the person, but coordinated effort of a being that links us all.

As for the first sentence, short answer is no. Medium answer is never, longer answer is too long for here.

But perhaps I used the wrong term, it’s not God’s assistance, but God, as God is Love and Love is also in the human heart as we are children of God, and one with God. God is also indivisible, so any love is of God.

But for those who are abandoned, or feel abandoned by love, there is still love, but we must be open to all it’s forms, as god does not do things as we want, but as he wants. We so often block love because we thing it should come a certain way or from a certain person, but God uses whoever he choses as his instrument of love, the loss of someone tends to call attention to this, and the differnet forms of Love all which are God.

18

Witnessing is permitted in GD. I believe that quoting scripture also is acceptable.

19

I have managed to love a bunch without aid from above. Sometimes without even a living person knowing. Love is internal unless you chose to show it.

20

There are many incompatible meanings of love, not just two or three.

Very often, when love goes bad, it’s precisely because of this problem. People assume that each other is acting on the same definition of love when actually they’re not, or one person suddenly switches definitions, or maybe more truthfully there are several definitions operating simultaneously and the focus just shifts a bit.

Even as basic as “Does love belong to the Feelings category or the Actions category?”. The correct answer is “It can be either, or both at once”.
Love is also a lot like legal issues. When you are doing business with someone and you both trust each other and good will and respect are at high levels on both sides, you might leave a lot of details unwritten, even unsaid. But if one of you suddenly becomes suspicious, then the relationship changes, and everyone is suddenly making sure every detail is in black and white with a signature at the bottom.

In business, it is often socially acceptable to say “Let’s have everything in writing from the beginning so that we don’t run into any snags later”. Some people would say that’s essential, but there are still those increasingly rare people who insist on a handshake and no more. Either they belong to an old-fashioned culture, or they’re dishonest - or both.

Starting a first date with a contract, “so that we don’t run into any snags later”, is much less popular. :smiley:
Partly this is because it’s seen as stiflingly legalistic, but also I think it’s an acknowledgment that writing a contract for love would feel limiting in exactly the wrong way, that one of the main reasons we “fall in love” is that we need to (at least temporarily) lose our psychological boundaries regarding this person, and contracts are for setting boundaries. Setting boundaries by written contract is the direct opposite of falling in love, not simply a distraction or a nuisance.

There’s also the issue of presumption. Signing a contract would indicate A Relationship, and people don’t want to start out by saying This Is A Relationship - they’re not sure yet, and it’s bad form to look desperate or to assume the other person is interested.