Do you love your city? Sell it to me.

In My Humble Opinion
1

In a few days, I’m going to be kicked out of my home. The landlords want to rent it to someone else, so I’m out.

I have nowhere to live. I’ve been searching and calling and e-mailing and running around looking for a place since I learned I was going to be kicked and have been coming up with a lot of dead ends. I do have a few people willing to let me crash with them for a few days here and there in exchange for housekeeping and such, so I’m not 100% out in the cold just yet, but I still don’t have an actual home.

My foster dogs will no longer be mine after this weekend. They’ll go to other foster homes and I’ll be on my own.

And my job… well, it’s food service. It’s a crappy, low-paying job. But I’ve got a fair bit of experience there and know that the turnover rates in kitchens are pretty damn high, so I reckon it shouldn’t be too hard to find a job somewhere else doing the same thing.

So… it’s certainly not a solid plan, but I figure- why not just take the opportunity to get the fuck out of here? My life has pretty well collapsed over the past year, leaving very little to keep me here. Now, losing my dogs and my home, the only real reason to stay is my job. Which, again, is just a crappy low-wage type of job- nothing special.

Problem is, I have no idea where. I have no particular love affair with any city or region in the US and no real ties anywhere.

I want to live somewhere affordable, so most huge cities are out. I can’t afford to go running off to San Francisco or Boston. However, I prefer something resembling a city or at least access to something resembling a city. I live in St. Louis now, for reference. Aside from that… I just want a place that isn’t miserable, you know? Not too backwoods or stepford. Ideally, friendly (or at least not actively unfriendly) to gays, atheists, and vegetarians. I prefer a warmer climate, but can deal with a cold one.

Of course, the places I’ve heard of are going to be Portland and Austin and Chicago… not like Edwardsville, Illinois or Hattiesburg, Mississippi. And the ones I haven’t heard of or wouldn’t think of right away are probably going to be the ones I should look into. But there are a whole lot of cities in the US, so I don’t even know where to start.

So I’m starting here. Tell me about cities you’ve loved. Entice me.

2

Well, I don’t love it yet, having just moved back here after being in Tucson for 16 years, but Asheville, NC is pretty cool. It’s a small city, about 85,000 people, but it has a civic center, a very active downtown scene, a bus system, a good library, and decent interstates. There are 4 distinct seasons- sometimes the winters are very mild and sometimes they’re fairly harsh. The summers are nice- it rarely gets over 85 because it’s the mountains, even though it’ll be 100 or more in the Piedmont just south. It’s a big tourist area, so there’s plenty of things to do and places to go and see. It’s very scenic. It’s quite progessive, lots of vegetarians and hippies and alternatives lifestyles and new-age woo-woo, if you’re into that sort of thing. It can be somewhat costly to live right in the city, but there are tons of lower-cost small towns directly around it, as in a 10-20 minute drive. I like it, and a lot of other people do, too.

3

OK, you did it, I’m packing!

4

$27.50 and it’s yours.

5

:stuck_out_tongue:

Just from reading some of your posts and getting a bit of a feel for who you are around here, I think you’d like it!

6

Dorothy, weren’t you a farm girl from Wisconsin (or someplace similar), when you were a much younger member here?

It’s none of my business, but how’d get to this point?

7

Richmond is kind of cool. I like it because it’s walking-friendly. There are also lots of “crash pad” type of places that may suit someone such as yourself.

Right now it seems to be overrun by college kids, but that’s only because school has just started and I had grown accustomed to their absence.

Weather is perfect, IMHO. Not boiling hot like Atlanta. Not frigidly cold like the NE. Not too terribly hurricane prone, like South Florida.

The cost of living is reasonable too.

It’s not as hip of a place like Austin. But it’s trying to get there. Lately I have been seen more and more food trucks popping up out of nowhere.

8

This is probably a bad time to sell you on New Orleans, but if you can deal with tropical storms/hurricanes every so often, it has some of the best food and music in the country, ridiculously friendly people, unique architecture and neighborhood culture, a ton of food service jobs, and a cool laissez-faire approach to life. I don’t even get out all that much these days and I still have an absolute ball living here. Come and visit and see if you don’t stay forever. :wink:

9

San Diego. Best of all possible worlds. Superb climate, incredibly diverse geography (mountains, deserts, forests, the sea.) Moderate-right political environment, and the economy… Um… It’s getting better… Head for a suburb or neighboring city, and the prices are close to reasonable.

10

Nope, lived here most of my life. Too bad, too… I would have made an adorable farm girl.

As for what happened… a lot, between 14 and 21. I was a kid then and am a grown-up (albeit, obviously not a very good one) now. A few bad decisions, a bit of bad luck, and here I am. Granted, I’m not sure I was much less screwed up as a teenager than I am now… just that I’m on my own now and have to deal with it by myself.

11

Plenty of food-service and empty apartments in Northern Nevada. Great weather, entertainment, no state income tax. Year-round playground. Come on out. I’ll help you find a place to live.

12

You’re only four hours away from the lovely and awesome town of Lawrence, KS. Sitting on the banks of the mighty Kaw River, Lawrence is the dot of blue in Kansas’ sea of red. Compared frequently to Austin and Boulder, it’s an open and welcoming community.

It’s both a college town and a bedroom community (for Topeka and Kansas City/suburbs), but the feel of the city is defined by the university. Head to a friend’s house for a beer? Don’t be surprised when the 10 people who drop buy include both a banjo and bodhran player and a session breaks out on the porch. You’ll pass a busker once a block on Massachusetts Street, and almost never will s/he be aggressive. Lawrence also has a tremendous live music scene, drawing burgeoning acts into intimate venues, often just before they hit the concert hall/arena stage.

The surrounding area is replete with farmers, ranchers, and vitners. When the farmer’s market is out of season, a fair number of them move into local businesses for a night or two a week. You want grass-fed beef? Free-range chicken? Cruelty-free pork? Or do you want fresh hummus, a locally-produced veggie burger, and produce for sale less than 10 miles from where it was grown? You want beer, wine, or spirits to go with any of the above? Lawrence produces all within five miles. And then there’s the Community Mercantile (the Merc), dedicated to community ownership and organic locavorism.

The county deputies can be asses, but the town police are chill. Had a bit too much to drink and blow a .10? “Park your car. Call a cab or walk.” Marijuana possession is a citation. $100 or $150 (I don’t smoke and don’t recall.)

And for you, Lawrence has more restaurants than you can imagine, and many more than most cities its size. Skilled restaurant staff will never starve, and many make better than decent livings.

I could keep going on… It really is an awesome town. PM me if you’re serious and have any interest—I may be in a position to help.

And hell, your nick already fits.

13

Sorry to hear about your situation - I’ve always like St. Louis, but absolutely understand the desire to get out.

I’m going to advocate for Indianapolis, but realize that it may just be too similar to St. Louis for you, as opposed to something completely different like Charleston, SC, Seattle, WA or Denver, CO - all cities that are pretty damn cool to live in.

Indy’s been getting a lot of great press lately. We were just mentioned in the BBC’s travel section for being the culinary heart of the midwest. That’s a bit of a stretch, IMO, but there’s a kernel of truth in there. For someone in the food industry, it probably offers quite a bit in terms of options. Either way, there’s always a great place to go out to eat, catering to pretty much any craving you might have. It’s not Chicago where you can get Malaysian food at 4am - but there are plenty of things to eat that aren’t pork tenderloin (which is friggin’ awesome, by the way!).

For someone on a limited budget, there are a ton of affordable living options these days. There’s been a lot of effort in revitalizing a lot of the older neighborhoods that surround the immediate downtown area, most of which have their own nightlife scenes. I can’t speak to things like the music scene, which I always hear complaints about, but I’ve had a hard time in the past not being able to find things to do - there is ALWAYS something going on here, even if you’re not a sports fan.

Indianapolis has got “friendly” in spades. People were flummoxed by how damned friendly we were during the Super Bowl we just hosted. Indiana isn’t the most gay-friendly state in the country, but I’m friends with plenty of gay people that all love living downtown. The City just passed domestic partner benefits into law (for city employees), so we’re not completely backwater.

I don’t know what your educational background is, but there are four large universities all downtown (if you count IvyTech, which I do) if you’re looking to advance your degree(s). If food service is something you’re interested in, I know a few people that have gone through one of the local culinary institutes and been very happy with it.

14

I’ll second the notions of Lawrence and Austin, for a liberal free-thinker that wants to work in the restaurant industry and live somewhere with a low “cost of living”… both of these choices have a very college-y feel, though. Lawrence has a “small-town” atmosphere, while Austin is vast and sprawling.

I live in Fort Worth (in a nearby suburb) and have always loved it. Though it does get hot in the summers, there’s lots to see and do. First rate museums, a reasonable music scene, lots of parks and places to hike and bike and explore. There’s not as much of the “college town” atmosphere, but of course that means that there are less liberals in Fort Worth. I find that to be a tolerable trade-off.

We have several industry giants that keep a large percentage of the population gainfully employed and spending money at their favorite restaurants. In fact, if your ultimate goal is to start your own restaurant, I think Fort Worth is a pretty solid choice.

The mass-transit grid (a bus line and light rail system) has fairly light coverage once you get significantly away from downtown, but it’s not insurmountable. Most everyone does have a car here.

15

Dayton, Ohio, and Greater Dayton Area.

Very low cost of living.
Nice, safe suburbs.
Lots of green.
Plenty of low cost housing. Can buy a brick house w/ yard for less than what others pay in rent for an apartment.
Close proximity to WPAFB ensures lots of trickle-down money to drive local economy.
Very little traffic.
Easy access to major interstates (I-70 and I-75).
No water shortage; large underground aquifers.
No flooding problems.
Taxes relatively low.
Four seasons (autumn is particularly beautiful).
Good, public, two year college (Sinclair) and four year college (Wright State).
Lots of small towns.
Friendly people.

16

Burlington, VT

Overall, a fantastic place to live, especially if you’re young (which it seems you are.)
Pros:
Very friendly people
Lots of local breweries and brew-pubs
Fantastic restaurants, many with emphases on organic and/or sustainable and/or local food
Local beer
As said, great for young people, since there is one large college in town, and a couple smaller ones, too.
Can be walk-able (depends on what part of town you live in.)
Bike-friendly, if that’s your thing.
Big lake for summer, pretty leaves, apples, and pumpkins in the fall, and skiing/snowboarding in the winter.
Very safe.
EXTREMELY friendly to gays, atheists, and vegetarians. Like…it’s hard to find a friendlier place to all three of those than here.
The beer.
If you want to experience a real, large, city, Montreal is a two-hour drive away.
Maple syrup is cheap(er) here.

That said, it’s not perfect.
Cons:
The cost of living. You will not be able to live alone. While not as pricey as large cities like NYC, Boston, etc…, it’s still too damn expensive for single people. The colleges are partly to blame…a large amount of young people, most of whom aren’t paying the rent themselves, who aren’t going to be staying long-term drives up prices and limits availability. However, even living with one roommate will cut down on rent drastically, because two-bedroom places are pretty much the exact same price as one-bedrooms.

Winter. It can get cold…and there’s snow (well, usually…last winter was a bit of an anomaly.) However, it’s not usually crazy levels of cold, like Alaska, or parts of Minnesota and Wisconsin.

17

have you tried taking the quiz here? you might enjoy it. annoyingly, I think you have to sign up but I still find this kind of thing fun.

research destinations

18

Thank you all- some very good ideas here. I’m still not totally sure where I’m going, but now I’ve got some ideas!

19

Chicago has a lot to offer but I think the cost of living there would make life hard for someone in a food service job. If you find Chicago appealing, I’d suggest considering Milwaukee - it’s close enough to Chicago that you can make a trip down to Chicago for dinner or a concert, but with the benefit of cheaper cost of living. It’s also fairly close to Madison which I suspect you’d probably also enjoy (but the reason I don’t suggest Madison is because it seems to be on the expensive side as well, though not to the degree of Chicago).

Overall, my advice would be to focus on medium sized cities in the midwest over mega cities or coastal cities. Your money will go further in the medium sized cities as a general trend, and if you choose carefully you can find places in the midwest that have decent veg*n restaurants and a good number of gay people. When I look at my friend who lives in a glamorous city but constantly struggles to support himself, I think it’s a lot easier to enjoy life if you can reduce your stress over money.

20

A friend and former work colleague moved to Asheville about 3 years ago. He opened a headache clinic and he says he really loves living in Asheville for the very reasons you’ve described. Well done you!