Do you mind if people (from the SDMB) you don't know, PM you or E-mail you...

I couldn’t decide whether this belonged here or in IMHO. Since it is a question About This Message Board I chose this forum.

I like the fact that we have the PM option and that many users make their e-mail available in their profile but I have been hesitant to take advantage of this option. I have PM’ed people three times, but I felt weird doing it. I know I do not mind receiving messages from people but I wonder if others consider it an invasion of privacy. I would never consider “flaming” or hostile private communication appropriate; if you want to do that I think it should be on the “Boards”, but what about friendly or innocuous things?

Well, if I am reading this thread correctly, PMs must be activated by a user for him/her to receive them. So if you don’t want them, don’t turn them on. I would think that if someone has them turned on, they are open to receiving them.

I think they can be useful for a quick note to someone that you know is online when you are. I like them, and I think they are handled in a better way on this board than on other boards I have been on that use them.

emphasis mine

…the only sentence that ended with a (?)

I’m not sure what the question is…, but:

I tend to include some boilerplate with my PMs stating that if the recipient does not wish to receive PMs they should simply ignore the message and I will cease PMing.

The big risk with PMs is that they might get overlooked by the PMee.

You can PM me if you want! :smiley: The content better be both friendly and innocuous.

…the only sentence that ended with a (?)

I’m not sure what the question is…, but:


The question mark was the clue as to what the question was, the rest was preamble and qualification. I know it was subtle, sorry for that.

The default setting for PMs is off, so if someone wishes to receive PMs from other members of the community they must turn them on to begin with. I would think that would settle the question of whether they want them or not; if they do not wish to receive PMs the function is not activated and you cannot PM them.

The other factor is that they are not always so visible. I have mine turned on and sometimes it’s a day or more before I catch that subtle little reminder in the upper right hand corner that says you have a message. Not all of our staffers see them either; a recent comment in a staff email from one of our busier people was to the effect that you’d be better served writing a message in the sand and having a plane fly over and see the message than using PMs. Lots of people on the board are busy like that, so take that into consideration as well.

Done it only a handful of times. Always very happy with what came from those. PM away.

Whoever wants a far more visible notification of PM’s, go to User CP -> Messaging & Notifications. Check the very last box in that frame (“Show New Private Message Notification Pop-up”.) This will cause a pop-up to come up on top of your SDMB page the first time you navigate within the site after receiving a message (or at the very least, you’ll get a “Popup is blocked” message from your browser :p)

Ms. Diva,

Based on your answer I see that IMHO is a better place for this thread. People may have PM turned on to communicate with their friends but not necessarily wish to be contacted by strangers.

Would you consider moving this to IMHO? The question being:

“Do you mind if people (from this message board) you don’t know, PM you or E-mail you, as long as it is friendly or innocuous?”

Stop beating around the bush, askeptic – I know it’s me you want to PM – and it’s okay. :wink:

I changed the thread title and fit in as much as your title as possible, but it runneth over, so I hope that works for you. I’ve also moved this to IMHO.

PMs are a handy way of continuing a discussion that would hijack the original thread that inspired it, but is no significant enough to warrent its own thread. I like them and have no problem PMing a stranger if necessary.

As long as it’s not snarky or creepy- sure, it would be cool.

Hell, I could even handle snarky or creepy, depending on the source… :cool:

I don’t mind PMs or emails as long as they have something to do with a thread or conversation somehow. That’s why I allow both.

Out of the blue emails with no connection to anything on the board other than “hey we’re both members; let’s talk!” smack of date-seeking.

If you get any good ones- lemme see!

I’m sorry, that made me laugh: “Ms. Diva”


I’ve PM’d and been PM’d. It can be hard to notice the little thing that says you have a PM, but I’m with the camp that says if you enabled it, you don’t need to be squicked out about receiving one.

I love the PMs. Don’t e-mail me without checking with me on PM first, or at least givnig me a heads up. I don’t even know if I have my e-mail on the boards; if I do, it’s one I don’t use very often.

But sure, PM me anytime!

Not at all and, actually, I just activated the PM option after reading this thread and finding out they were turned off by default.

I agree with silenus on their use. They’re also great for continuing a discussion when most other people have lost interest in a thread.

Not at all. I just checked to make sure mine were turned on too, so PM away!