Well then friends, I’ve got just the thing for you. Come on down to The Work Farm™ and all your troubles will be solved.
The Work Farm™ is 10 acres of rough, untouched, overgrown land located in the heart of the Midwest. There is a lovely limestone lined creek complete with waterfall and fishin’ hole running parallel with the road and a lovely 36 hole Golf Coarse in the rear. Everything between the two is covered with trees,brush,rocks and rubble except for a roughly 50 foot wide area surrounding the house.
Friends this is where you come in. I help you get in shape, You help me get the land in shape. For every simulated activity you can do at the health spa you can do the REAL THING HERE.
Bench presses- bah try pressing Big Ass Logs© for a while
Rowing- Swinging a scythe really works those lats and obliques.
StairClimber–We’ve got a dozen uphill trails covered with brush.
Free weights–What do you think all those rocks are?
For those needing a creative outlet we have over 200 feet of planting beds surrounding the house that need landscaped as well as koi ponds to be dug, roses to be planted, deck enclosures to be planned…why the list is endless.You are limited only by your imagination.
But you say “What about pampering?”
I’m glad you asked cause we’ve got it all.
Whirlpool–See waterfall in the fishin’ hole.
Bathing facilities–See above.
Aerobics-Oh you’ll get plenty of cardiovascular running from the snakes–only a few of which are poisonous. Which ones you say? I * could * tell you but it would spoil the fun.
Aromatherapy-What with the dogs, horse droppings and goats next door, it’s aromatic as hell baby.
Beverages- We offer a choice of 2 no-cal house specialities either from the hose or if you wish you can pump it yourself. For added yummy goodness the pump is located within 50 feet of the septic system. Remember just because it’s labeled “For agricultural use only” doesn’t mean there’s a law against drinking it.
Food–As much as you can plow, plant, water, grow, harvest, cook and eat.
What’s that you say? It sounds too good to be true. Well it is. I guarantee you’ve never had this kind of “fun” before. Come on—What have * you * got to lose?