Do you really have to shit on the Swiss Military to sell your cheaply made knives?

Insulting Ad here.

SAK are wonderful knives! Crapping on them is beneath contempt.

You do realize that jokes about Swiss Army Knives are quite common, right? They’re not crapping all over the Swiss Army Knives, they’re just touting their own knife and making a little joke at the end.

And you should note that when OJ wanted to kill people he didn’t use a Swiss Army Knife even though he was a spokesman for Victronix. Surely you’d rely on the judgement of a successful murder on what kind of knife to use.

Are they even touting their own knife? It sounds like an overstock type site, like, trying to sell as many as they can. Snark is hip, hip is smart, and who doesn’t want to be that?

It’s an aggressive bull-shit marketing campaign. It reminds me of what i thought the presentation would be re: another aggressive bull-shit artist marketing campaign that I used to hear on the radio years ago:

“Not getting the sales you deserve? Call Us at YourMarketingBites .com”

Lots of splash, lots of lies, lots of smoke and a shitty little trinket for sale at the end.
“But Wait! Call now and we’ll send you a SECOND one absolutely free! You just pay additional Shipping and Handling…!”

I wasn’t aware SAK ever said their knives were either survival tools or combat weapons. The original SAK had 4 blades. A long and short blade, a bottle opener/screw driver, and a can opener. Like my first Boy Scout knife. A handy thing to have in your pocket is all.

Not a SAK advert-it’s a meh advert, a company run by the same people that created Woot!
If you remember the snarky descriptions they ran for their products on Woot!, then you’ll understand what’s going on here.

Getting mad at meh advertising copy is akin to saying the Onion isn’t serious enough. If the past is any indication, there’s a 50-50 chance that somewhere down the line they will sell Swiss army knives.

It’s aimed at 13-year-old boys, militia goobers, and other strip-mall-ninja types, who do not know what a good knife is. is run by the original founder of, who left Amazon after the buyout (and apparently also left a bunch of money on the table) because he found it too stuffy.

Note to self: read Czarcasm’s posts before posting.

Heh, I bought my current edc (a Kershaw) from a meh sale. Got a great deal, bought three.

I usually read the ad copy even if I have no interest in the day’s item.

Victorinox made some display knives with 20 or 30 tools and knives on one handle. They even had an oversized, motor-driven SAK with continuously moving appendages.

I have a hunch that this beast is not an authorized SAK.

I should have checked this site first.

I have to ask the OP if he is getting paid for posting this ad.

You’re mad because a knife-making company said their knives are better than the knives made by a different knife-making company?

Their ad campaign may backfire because there are millions of people like me that love their Victorinox Swiss Army knives much more than the ad writers realize. I have three in various sizes, I always have one on me, I use them daily to not only cut but also fix everything from computers to cars and I become emotionally attached to them after they have proven themselves to be a reliable companion.

They are excellent quality by any standard and the Victorinox company stands behind them. A few years ago, one of them developed a small crack in the handle after ten years of hard use. I wasn’t having any of that because they have a lifetime warranty so I sent it back to their service facility in Connecticut with a letter that said I wanted the same one back but refurbished and I did get it back almost as good as new except for a couple of small telltale scratches.

I was going to be very upset when I left one in my carry-on bag a couple of years ago and the TSA was forced to confiscate it but the agent that took it complimented it and offered me the opportunity to mail it back home but I didn’t have time. He understood that you don’t just take a man’s Swiss Army knife like it is a bottle of water. The first thing I did when I got home was order a replacement.

You can make fun of the cheap knockoffs all you want but Victorinox Swiss Army knives are the real deal and incredibly useful no matter which model fits your needs. I question the knowledge and integrity of anyone that does not fully understand that basic fact.

Yes…* you *understand!

I should add that I need screwdrivers a whole lot more often than I need to break glass but a Swiss Army knife can do that just fine as well. I can honestly say that I have used every single tool in even my largest ones when there was nothing else available that can to it. Even the humble toothpick works great to pop push locks on things like bathroom doors and that weird snag thing on the bottom of some of them is just the thing to grab some wires from tight spaces.

  1. Cut something - trivial
  2. Screwdriver - here’s a couple of different kinds in my pocket
  3. Open a bottle of wine - no problemo
  4. Bottle opener - got it
  5. Open a can when you don’t have a can opener - we would be screwed if it weren’t for that SAK
  6. Make a hole in something like leather - done
  7. Pull out a splinter - doesn’t that feel better now?

Those are just the features of the most basic models. They also make models that can do everything from cut down small branches, serve as a hack saw or metal file, store emergency digital data, serve as scissors (I use this one surprisingly often) or operate as a small pair of pliers.

Somehow, they engineered all of those features into a tiny little tool with a meticulous and classy finish that can easily fit in the pocket of a pair of dress pants. It is great if other people want something bigger that can only fit on a belt or, more likely, in a drawer, but that isn’t the reason SAKs exist. They are meant to be carried all the time unobtrusively and available when you need them most.

I, for one, stand by my best friends, the Swiss Army knives and everyone else can go to hell.

But do you?
Once again: The knife company didn’t make that ad.

Sometimes it is best to know you cannot tread on sacred ground. You can make fun of me but never, ever make fun of my kids, my mother, my pets or my Swiss Army knives.