Painting and plumbing are not transactions, so it’s really not the same.
The basic idea is that the person you in the presence of takes precedence over someone who is not there. You don’t have to chat with the server through the entire transaction (waitstaff, please inform your managers), but you should stop and acknowledge the server.
Totally rude. Unless you get a call that’s an emergency, don’t do it! Or go to the self-check outs.
Hey, j666, don’t you know it’s rude to speak for others?
But you done good, that is exactly what I meant! You don’t have to converse the entire transaction, but one should be attentive and immediately available the whole time.
ISTM there are 3 phases to the cashier interaction - the greeting, which I agree should be done, the ringing up/bagging phase, where the cashier is doing a job that does not require any interaction with me, and in fact, will probably go smoother and faster if there is no interaction, and the payment phase, where it’s back to being an interaction. IMHO, during phase 2, it is not rude for me to not pay any attention to the cashier. Now if during phase 2, they have a question directly related to the job they’re doing, like “Do you want me to bag this separately?”, then yes, it is incumbent upon me to immediately suspend whatever other activity I’m involved with and respond to them, but that’s not the same as saying I have to anxiously wait for a question like that to occur, and any other activity during that time is rude. That’s why I brought up plumbers & painters - they’re in my house, and may possibly be in the same room I am, but while they’re actually doing their job, I don’t see why I need to interact with them.
Here’s the thing, muldoontheif, at least as I see it. The expectations in your comaprisons are diffferent. A cashier (or waiter, or parking lot attendant, etc), in general, expect you to be attentive to the transaction. When you ignore them, it makes them feel like they are less important than your phone call, video game, other conversation, etc. And, by definition, they are. You chose to focus on something else and put them 2nd. It’s a relatively short duration transaction, be there.
A plumber or painter expects to be left alone. You have presumably already told them the scope of what you require. They need little, if any, further input and they are likely to be there for hours or days. OTOH, during the explanatory phase of the transaction (here’s the issue I need fixed/colors I want, etc), you need to be attentive and involved - not taking a phone call. That is more analagous to the cashier scenario.
As always, YMMV.
I usually do go to the self checkouts but it’s rarely due to a phone call. More often it’s because there is a chatty bored person in the lineup who is going to talk to the cashier so much that glaciers move faster than their order. Bonus points for the ones that hang around and continue talking through the next persons order.
If I’m buying $250 worth of groceries, the ringing up & bagging phase takes 3-5 minutes at least. I don’t see why I need to “be there”, as you put it, that entire time. It’s not because they’re less important as human beings than a phone call - it’s because their primary responsibility is to ring up & bag, not engage me in conversation. I guess I just don’t agree that expecting people to do their job without having to turn it into a social occasion is in some way demeaning. Of course I’ll be courteous when I am talking with them, and of course if they require my input on some aspect of the job they’re doing they immediately become my first priority, but for the entire time? Not necessary.
When I used to bus tables, I HATED it when the diners wanted to talk with me. I wasn’t working for tips (from them at least), and every second I spent talking with them was time I wasn’t doing my actual job.
Heh. Now I have this image of me giving the cashier my FULL ATTENTION. And the cashier slowwwwly reaching to page security as I stare at her wide-eyed…not blinking.
Hannibal voice: “Ready when you are.”
I guess I’m as guilty as anyone for thinking the electronic media require no manner, eh?
Make sure that you are buying a cucumber and some KY when you do that.
I’m a painter/decorative painter. 
And it goes both ways…while I enjoy getting to know my clients, for the most part while we’re working I prefer to be left alone to, you know, work. I plug in my ear buds and listen to NPR all day while getting the job done. But by that time I’ve already established a good rapport with the client - important since I’m often working in their home for days or weeks and more personally involved in their lives, at least temporarily, than a check-out person.
So something like what I do is not really analogous to breezing through a quick transaction at checkout. In that case, I believe it’s courteous and classy to acknowledge the person waiting on you as a human deserving of at least minimal attention instead of treating them like an extension of their scanner and cash register. Would you think it OK to stay on your cell phone during, say, a medical exam, and only breaking device contact when the nurse or doctor actually addressed you?
Next time the cashier at 7/11 is fondling my junk and tells me to turn my head and cough, I’ll be sure to put my phone away. But, otherwise, this comparison rings false. A checkout clerk does not need my full and complete attention, outside of making the payment. I would imagine that a doctor would. I guess I just don’t see the major issue with smiling at the clerk, making eye contact and mouthing “thank you”, or just making a quick aside, mid-phone conversation to say “hello” to the worker.
Most people on this thread think that I would need to interrupt my conversation and hang up on the caller, merely to say “hello”, “thank you” and “goodbye.” That just seems unnecessary, if we are talking about offering common courtesy to the check-out clerks. I don’t plan on engaging in a long conversation with them, especially if there are people waiting behind me. The goal is to be as efficient as possible, so that they don’t have a long line of customers.
Well to be fair, I am not the poster conflating painters and plumbers with check-out persons.
And most of the time (depending on what issues you have I guess) the nurse is not fondling your junk, but doing things such as taking your weight and BP and other medically mundane tasks.
But a medical exam is an inherently interactive activity. They’re asking you questions about your history, asking you to turn your head, raise your arms, etc. etc. Whereas during the ringing up and bagging phase, the cashier in general doesn’t require anything from the customer. I think a medical exam is at least as bad an analogy as a painter, in the opposite direction.
How about a cab ride? That’s pretty similar to a cashier interaction - in phase 1, you greet the driver and tell him where you want to go. In phase 2, the driver takes you to your destination. In phase 3, you pay and leave. If you’re taking a 10 minute cab ride, is it rude to talk on your phone or with the person riding with you instead of giving the driver your full attention in phase 2? If not, why is that different than the cashier situation?
Seems to me what people are concerned about are phases 1 and 3 in your above scenario. Interactions with cashiers don’t usually involve 10 minute intervals where the cashier is doing something that doesn’t involve interacting with you. The point is, if there are people behind you and the cashier is either ready for you to place your order or is ready for you to pay, then stop your phone conversation and interact with the cashier. Otherwise you are not just making the cashier wait, you are making everyone behind you wait until you are done with your oh-so-important conversation. If there is no one behind you then, depending on the circumstances, it might be reasonable to make the cashier wait.
So, I basically live and die by my debit card. As such, I don’t have to fumble around for my money. Whenever I’m in the grocery store or whatnot, I make it a point to have my card in my hand and ready to swipe it at the terminal.
In a situation such as that, where I have handed my groceries to the clerk (or put it on the conveyer belt), but I’m still on the phone, yet I’ve made eye contact, smiled, nodded, etc., does that fall under the category of “rude” by this thread’s standards?
It seems like most of the Dopers in this thread are against the “dehumanizing” of grocery clerks, but in this situation, I’m recognizing that person as “existing” and not an automaton. Additionally, as soon as I can complete my end of the transaction, I’m perfectly able to do so, so as not to hold up people who are behind me. I never pay for groceries by check, and even on the rare occasion that I do use cash, I have my money ready ahead of time, regardless of whether I’m on the phone or not.
I dunno… It just seems odd to me, in that some of the people in this thread don’t seem to be willing to find any “middle ground” on the matter. Do I think it’s a dick move to completely ignore the cashier while on the phone and making the transaction? Of course. But, inversely, I just don’t think that I need to hang up on a phone call that I might be having just to say “hello”, “thank you”, and “goodbye” when I could easily do that as an aside when I’m currently engaged in a long conversation.
And I don’t see why one can’t spare 3-5 minutes to “be present” for the transaction that YOU initiated. As I said before, YMMV. I was raised in a time and place where the TV was turned off and the telephone went unanswered when one had company. The person in front of you deserved your full attention. I have seen that slip away over the years (heck, I don’t always turn of the TV anymore when someone stops by), I just hate to see it vanish completely.
And I never said it had to be a “social occasion”, as you keep thowing out there. I certainly acknowledge and thank, but in between may be nothing more than watching with an occasional comment (or not, just depends). I choose to make that the most important thing I’m doing at that moment. To me, that is common courtesy.
I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree, but having a visitor in your house is a completely different situation. It IS a social occasion, and you DO have to interact with the person. Why should I stand bored & silent for that 3-5 minutes? Why can’t I check email, or talk to my kids, or any other thing but attend to the person who is doing a job they’re being paid for?
Would you care to answer my question about a cab driver above?
Nope, Doctor Jackson has made it clear that in his opinion it’s rude to do anything but wait expectantly while the cashier is doing their job. In my very first post in this thread, I said it’s rude to not acknowledge the cashier when you get to them, and it’s rude to not be ready to pay & leave as soon as their done, but in between? Then I see no reason to stare at the cashier, ready to INSTANTLY respond to anything they say.
If I am buying enough groceries that it will take several minutes for the cashier to ring them up, then while she is doing that I am at the other end of the counter bagging everything so when it comes time to pay I can just swipe my card and go. I’m not going to stand there for several minutes just staring at the cashier.