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All your files are still present, but your folders (directories) have all disappeared. Make new folders to replace them. Put your files where they belong. (10 points)
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All your settings and preferences have vaporized, for all user-configurable variables. (for now, your computer has kindly consented to behave in accordance with the old settings until you reboot, but won’t display them). Set them all back the way they were and reboot. (10 points)
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All your files are still present and located in their appropriate folders, but the file extensions have been deleted. (or, for Mac users, the File Type and File Creator have all been changed to ??? and ??? except for ResEdit). Set each file type to the correct values by restoring the extension or Type/Creator strings. (10 points)
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[extra credit] Your hard drive or drives have been fully backed up…by the least sane member of your IT department, who did the backup in the form of an Amiga disk image of an AppleDouble MIME archive, uuencoded and then saved as a raw character string on a series of 8 inch floppies. Oh yeah, and then your hard drive was reformatted. Do a successful restore. You may borrow other computer equipment and software as needed, as long as you obtain your original files and not copies from other origins. (0-50 points)
I’d probably get 60 points or so. That last one is a bit of a stumper, but the others are a cakewalk.
80 points.
What do you mean by “all your files”?
Does that include all of the system files? (OS)
If so, then nobody could get the first 3, without reinstalling the operating system. There’s just too many files.
What do the points get us?
all your files are belong to us!
Sorry, that was just wrong.
No, according to the above, I don’t understand my computer. It has threatened to leave me if we don’t seek counselling.
rjung and xizor (provisionally speaking) will be issued computer equipment as their request; the SDMB Accounting Department is herewith directed to approve hardware purchases for same in accordance with their instructions.
xisor: It is assumed that you are in a state of “boot” when the described condition applies itself to your files.
It is the recommendation of the SDMB IT Department that no one be allocated access to a computer who does not score at least 20 points here.
In the book “Good Omens”, by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, there was a demon by the name of Crowley. (He used to be named Crawly, but it just didn’t suit him.) He had lush, extremely healthy, beautiful houseplants.
The way he accomplished this was, whenever any one of the plants looked wilted and unhealthy compared to the last, was to take it, talk loudly about what a shame, what a pity, and leave the room. He would then return, setting the now-empty pot by the others, and make comments on how that was extremely tragic, what he had to do made even a demon’s stomach turn, but really the plant brought it upon itself. In such a way, he developed an understanding with his plants.
Same kind of thing, really, only with computers.
I scored a big Doughnut. The solution to any problem that I have with my computer is simple.
Step 1: Turn off computer.
Step 2: Go to bed.
Step 3: Wake up.
Step 4: Turn on computer and hope it fixed itself.
Wanna hear something funny? I’m tech support…
OK, Drastic, you nailed me…
All right, what’s going on here is that the Mac platform is going towards MacOS X, which is a totally different architecture under the hood, and I am haunted by my ignorance…under X, I would not pass this test 
(I don’t really thing you should have to do these things in order to be allowed to use a computer. I think I should be able to do these things, though).
I know her and she knows me…and sometimes she can be a bitch but I always win. I beat her into submission.
I get an 80 – cept for the fact I am not always good about backing up my files, I have the most important ones backed up and they rarely change.
Next go around is she becomes a completely revamped machine with Win 2K…screw this Win98 crapola.
Hmm. I think I could eke out 50 points.
#1 Do you have any idea how long that would take me? The machine I’m using to post has 72GB of storage. Given no time limit, no problem.
#2 In my sleep. I keep mine pretty close to default, other than folder views and desktop resolution.
#3 Eventually, with a few reboots to get the Windows directories sorted out.
The last one’s a breeze. I have an Amiga with a Catweasel MkII and Shapeshifter. If you can write it, I can read it.
Child’s play. I do all of that for fun. Daily. Before I even take my morning shower. 
I’d have to say at least 70, if not 80
The only thing I understand about my computer is that it hates me.
Fair enough, and I am assuming I am allowed to boot from an external source (i.e. CD or floppy) and/or remove the hard drive and place it as a secondary drive on another machine.
I suspect I could get 80 points with a little research on the net and maybe running an emulator or two (to deal with the Apple and Amiga stuff). I even have a working PDP-11/03L running RT-11 with dual 8" floppy drives in the basement at my parents’ house.