Do you use your smartphone while pooping?

[norinew]

Well, I had to choose “Other” because I have a plain old dumb phone. But I use my Nook in the bathroom all the time, and even use it to surf the web while in there sometimes.

[cochrane]

@tdn

Those of you that read/surf, where do you put your device/book/magazine when you’re finishing up? I have no flat surfaces in my bathroom other than the floor.

I have a sink right next to the toilet with a countertop surface. Phone goes right there.

[lieu]

I gotta get me one of them there Fartphones. Gotta see if multitasking on the shitter is all it’s cracked up to be.

[tdn]

@lieu

I gotta get me one of them there Fartphones.

You might want to work your way up to that. Start with a craptop.

[EmAnJ]

I’ve been known to take my iPad, and even my laptop, in there with me.

[Joey_P]

I’ve never, ever been a bathroom reader. When I go to the bathroom, there’s one thing that I concentrate on, having said that, a few weeks back, started playing angry birds while taking a dump. Occasionally, if I get stuck on a level, I’ll pull up twitter and see what Tosh and Conan have been tweeting over the past few days, but that’s about it.

[tdn]

@Joey_P

Occasionally, if I get stuck on a level,

Colace works great for that.

[msmith537]

@silenus

Angry Birds helps me move things along.

Are we still talking about smart phone apps?

[lieu]

I wonder what tune Shazam would identify bathroom noises as?

[vix]

Other: if I’m carrying my phone around the house because I’m expecting a call, I’ll take it in the can. Otherwise, I’ll read something else.

[tdn]

@vix

Other: if I’m carrying my phone around the house because I’m expecting a call, I’ll take it in the can.

I’ll do that. Except it’s my land line.

[mauxlicious]

@lieu

I wonder what tune Shazam would identify bathroom noises as?

Anything by Justin Bieber.

[Tapioca_Dextrin]

I’m an in ‘n’ out in three minutes kinda guy. No yakkin’ in the express lane.

[horsetech]

@tdn

Do I have to spell it out for you?

Dropping the kids off at the pool. Parking my breakfast. Birthing a brown baby. Shooting some craps. Logging out. Heaving a Havana. Growing a tail. Feeding the fish. Downloading some brownware. Losing a few pounds. Sending cigars back to Cuba. Making butt coffee. Laying some cable.

Seriously, I’m expected to do all that AND read Jane Eyre? I think not.

I was trying to make a lame joke about the “at hand” part, but it sank.

[Rachellelogram]

You don’t have to read Jane Eyre in the toilet. George Carlin books (or other potty-mouthed comics–snerk) make for great shiterature. Pick it up for a couple minutes, read a couple pages, come back to it later. My aunt and uncle had a huge collection of crossword puzzles they’d do in the john back in the days before smartphones.

I can poop if I’m just thinking about poop, but it’s much easier and more enjoyable when I’m reading something else.

[tdn]

Part of the problem for me is I don’t have anywhere to put anything. The only thing next to my toilet is my sink, which doesn’t have a counter, so there’s no room to set a book.

[purplehorseshoe]

What? I can’t vote for both “I don’t have a smartphone” AND “I don’t poop cuz I’m a girl?”

[Max_Torque]

How do you think I’ve gotten so far in Angry Birds?

[Leaffan]

@tdn

Part of the problem for me is I don’t have anywhere to put anything. The only thing next to my toilet is my sink, which doesn’t have a counter, so there’s no room to set a book.

Lap?

Or you mean after? 'Cause the floor works well for that?

[needscoffee]

@jacobsta811

I voted no, but you need an option for: I think people who sit on the toilet but aren’t actively crapping are weird - its only a two minute max thing for me, if I can’t go I get up and come back later. So people who have time to read, etc, I don’t get.

What the heck is up with people who take 20 minutes or more?