I’ve seen it written in several books and business magazines that business people should note something personal about their client, record it in their CRM and bring it up conversation next time they meet them client in 6 months, 1 year later or whatever. They maintain this helps develop a rapport with the client.
I’m a fairly open-minded guy but I would just find it a bit creepy a salesperson bringing up something personal from a conversation i had with them last year? It does not sit well me.
Employees that I see on a frequent basis like at a grocery store or restaurant remembering stuff about me I would not feel creepy.
Someone mentioning something about me who I haven’t seen in a year? Eh, not creepy, but VERY transparent and off putting.
My pharmacists who I only see about two or three times a year has both my name AND birthday committed to memory. But that’s not because she’s trying to be a good sales person. She just has a freakishly good memory.
Mine remembers mine because she’s exactly one month older than me and we were in the same class for 16 years.
The kind of tactics described in the OP are the same kind of tactics and the same kind of mindset which includes phone salespeople mangling my name multiple times during the call (those who actually take the time to note and use my correction get extra points just for that). The idea is to simulate the personal parts which naturally grow when two people have been doing business together for long enough, but it often falls short over something relatively simple, such as somebody’s name.
Back to the “say the person’s name all the time” tactic, depending on how bad the mangling is the phone person may even lose my business just for it. The type of call I take most frequently is from agents: if you can’t be arsed to learn that the CH in my lastname is pronounced like the one in CHocolate, I’m not going to believe that you’ll be arsed to get tax withdrawals or payment dates right. The tactics in the OP run similar risks: “how was the wedding?” “how dare you! runs away” “uh, sorry man, he left her at the altar…”
I actively like this: “Hey there good morning. The usual? Hot sauce on your egg sandwich no butter, OJ and plain black, right?”
This is friendly: “Oh hi again, hey did that thing you bought for the bird feeder work like you hoped?”
Do not like: “Hello sir, good to see you again, are you happy with the 134 channels of streaming video service on the plan that you purchased? How’s the speed?”
Seriously creepy: “Good afternoon, AHunter3, do you still live at 111 Hometown Lane? I noticed that 36% of your purchases are ‘food and entertainment’, are you aware that we have a credit card that gives money back on that type of purchase?”
The Farley File is a tool used by some politicians to remember details about people they meet, to support the illusion that the target is a close enough friend that those details would naturally be remembered. Basically, the politician takes notes about each encounter with a person, and uses those notes to prep for future meetings.
I would not be at all surprised to learn that high-end salespeople similarly keep detailed customer contact notes. In fact, I would be very surprised if they do not.
(The Farley File is probably best known from its description in Heinlein’s Double Star novel.)
Depends. If the detail works naturally into the conversation I like it. “Hey B-Rad! Long time no see! * chatter * Say, how is * personal detail * going?”
If it feels like it’s coming off a database or index card and is completely out of context I ice over and conclude business as rapidly as possible.
I work with a couple hundred professionals in my metro area, and I may go for months without having occasion to speak with one person or another. I do keep something like a Farley File on most of them–reminds me a bit of their temperament, how the last conversation went, maybe a memorable personal detail that they dropped. I really only use it to prepare myself for an upcoming deal, to sort of mirror their temperament (serious, candid, goofy, etc.). It lowers defenses and puts me at ease, and works to mutual benefit.
I think it largely depends on the execution by the sales person in making this artificial device look genuine. That would include the salesperson at some level convincing themselves they actually care. Other answers have mainly said this.
OTOH it’s possible some targets of this maneuver just really don’t like it and will not be convinced by the smoothest execution that it’s other than a manipulative tactic, even if the salesperson believes not part way but right down to the bottom or his/her heart that they actually give a hoot about your personal life or interests. Maybe you are one of those people.
Personally I’m in a middle ground where I generally assume buddying up by people who need something from me is a tactic, but I don’t hold it against them. They are just trying to do their jobs. And then, some people are put off if sales reps don’t make a serious effort to show they think of the client as ‘a real person not just a number’. Sales people have to deal with clients like you, like me, and the third kind. I guess the better ones can read to some degree which type of they are facing.
If you’d asked how the garden was doing, I’d fall for it. If you asked how those new roses made it through the winter, I would feel conned and creeped out equally.
And using the mark’s name several times? That just makes me want to ask the sales person to address me by my last name.
I believe the appropriate response here is, “Preach it, sister”, but pardon me if that is too familiar.
My last three car dealership service departments never managed to remember that I give them the car locked so I expect to get it back the same way; despite repeated requests for that exact thing. So if they suddenly asked me how my vacation was I would probably be tempted to belt one of them.
I found this annoying at the Subway outlet at work, especially when the counter person pouted since I wasn’t getting the sandwich I most commonly (but not always) ordered.
Our former Mexican restaurant hangout occasionally brought me a margarita without being asked, which was a mistake since I don’t always want one.
If they truly cared about me and asked out of sincerity then I would like it.
If they were doing this to score points, and I could tell, it would fill me with disgust and the need to wash things compulsively.
If they were doing this to score points, and I thought they truly cared about me and asked out of sincerity, then, of course, I would like it, but for the wrong reason. More to the point, if they aren’t certain I will fail to see their motive and method, they’d be better off not trying. Besides, how pathetic is that, anyway? People can be enjoyed, or manipulated, but enjoying them is… well… enjoyable.
[Norm Peterson]The only rapport I want to have with business people is for them to place my drink on the bar before I get to my usual stool.[/Norm Peterson]
The name thing is fucking annoying. I’ve been forced to do it in various phone jobs, not even involving sales. I guess it goes back to that idiot Dale Carnegie. Now, it’s fine if it is someone I see often, such as a bartender or a hair stylist. But, the forced ‘use the customer name at least twice’ garbage utterly sucks.
My job as a consultant involves a certain amount of sales and business development. But the approach my firm takes is one based more on genuine relationship building. Like I have a counterpart at one of our alliance partner firms where we get together for lunch every few months to shoot the shit and brainstorm ways for our firms to work together. Mostly I think it’s just an excuse for us to expense lunch at Capital Grille.
This may not be exactly on topic, but I think it’s close.
I have a few friends that made it, not big, but extra medium in the music biz.
At this mid tier level meet and greet, in store clinics and glad handing are the ditch digging of your career.
But it shows when we meet up 2-3 times a year. Their happy to see you face is plastic. Same meet and greet style as the fans get.
It’s like when you see you buddy at his McDonald’s job and he gives you the “Welcome to McDonald’s, will this be for here or to go?” Instead of dropping the employee bit and sayin " Hey man, you hungry, what cha want"
It’s fake and disingenuous. I don’t like my friend being fake and I don’t like salesmen being a fake. I’ve had a few that remember too much.
I’ve posted it before but the art of remembering names always reminds me of the Firesign Theater bit (I think it was them).
Say you meet a woman named Dorothy Snowdon. “Dorothy” is associated with The Wizard of Oz. “Snowdon” – you picture her with a big pile of snow on her head. No matter how long it’s been since you’ve seen her, you can confidently walk up to her: “Hello, Toto Slushhead!”
There used to be a waitress at a restaurant we eat at regularly who remembered our names, drink orders, etc., starting from about the second time we had her. That was nice, and we always tried to get a seat in her section. I asked her once how she did it (since I’m always struggling to remember names), and she said that she just had a natural knack for it.
