I had a lot of stuff to get done. Gotta start winterizing the house and yard, my wife is quite ill so I have house work to do, have to meet with the manager of a business I own, need to meet with my financial advisor about transferring some funds into my 403b, so on and so forth.
So I burned a couple of comp days at my regular job to get all this done.
I didn’t even get half of it done. I fucked around too much
Had I just gone to work and done the things on my off time I probably would have gotten most of it done.
It seems when I have some actual “free time” (as to just time off) I squander it not doing the chores I planned to do
Do any of you fall into this? Why does this happen? I’m otherwise a very productive person.
I do. And I used to beat myself up about it like you’re doing. But I’ve grown into the theory that this is my play at immortality: I have a list of things I have to get done, and I can’t die until I finish them. At this rate, I’ll live forever.
Especially when Mrs. Thumper is working and I’m not. Somehow when I have the house to myself it feels like an invitation to fuck around. I do get things done, and usually on time because I know this about myself and I try to anticipate projects to counter my procrastination. Right now I’m procrastinating taking the kayaks off the rack (needs to be done by Nov 15), putting winter tires on the car (needs to be done by first snowfall), and getting the snowblower ready for winter. I’m sure they’ll all get done on time, but not today or tomorrow.
There’s an old saying: “if you want to get something done, give it to a busy person”. So true. When you’re busy you get in a groove of gettin’ stuff done. When you’re not busy, inertia and procrastination can and does easily kick in.
Don’t beat yourself up over it. If I get 40-50% of the stuff done I had on my weekend (or time off) to-do list, I count it as a win.
I’ve noticed that with me, it’s somewhat self-limiting.
For example, the past few summers my kids have gone to camp in another state, and my wife has gone to visit relatives who live nearby. So the dog and I have had a week to ourselves. It’s usually Friday through the next Sunday, so most of nine days. Of course I have to work on five of those days, but that gives me nearly four weekend days to myself, as well as every night after work.
I’ve found that by about Wednesday I’m starting to get a little bit bored with doing nothing useful in my non-work time, and I start doing useful stuff as a change of pace. Not with a purpose exactly, but more in a “I’m looking at all day Saturday with nothing to do but do what I’ve done for six hours a night for the last five days” kind of way, and stuff like housework and deferred chores start to look fun.
Of course when it’s just me, I don’t do the (mildly) dangerous stuff like play with saws or power tools, but I will reorganize closets and clean the couch covers, and safe stuff like that.
Particularly with yard stuff. Mowing my lawn only takes about 15 minutes but I still can’t be bothered until I need to break out the weed whacker and do a pass before the mower pass, which makes the whole process three times as long. But I just fucking hate it so much I put it off until I think a neighbor is about to complain. I’m at least three weeks overdue at the moment.
Ah yes… “The wise man does nothing, and everything gets done”. Clearly you are a proponent, knowing or otherwise, of the Tao Te Ching.
To be clear, the principle of Wu-wei (Non-Action): does not mean laziness or sleeping all day. Instead, it means effortless action or acting in alignment with the natural flow of things rather than forcing outcomes.
Just wait until you retire. If my experience is anything to go by, when you have all the time in the world to get stuff done, it is exponentially harder to even get started on any of it.
I had this problem when I was unemployed. I was able to still keep up with job applications, and I went on some nice walks and bike rides, and I kept up with my local organizations, but I did way fewer projects around the house than I expected.
This is true. There’s research that shows even people with ADHD have periods of reduced symptoms when they are really busy. This squares with my experience.
I can’t imagine. Well I can imagine…every year I take off 2 weeks at Christmas. Most of the time my plan IS to do nothing at all. Last year I made a plan to do a thing and…I didn’t end up doing the thing until like March.
But at least when you’re retired you can say “I worked hard all those years I should be able to do nothing.” I get the feeling a lot of retired folks say this too much! (And I will too)
I often feel like no matter what I do, I’ve “wasted” my days off. If I spend my weekend doing chores, I feel like I’ve wasted my time off because I didn’t do anything fun, and having fun is what the weekend’s supposed to be for, right? I mean, on Monday my coworkers usually ask “Did you do anything fun over the weekend?” and I feel like I’m a really dull person if the answer is “No, I spent the weekend doing chores.” But if I actually do use the time to do something fun, then the chores just don’t get done, and I feel bad because I’ve neglected my chores.
I try to balance fun and chores. For example, this is a 3-day weekend coming up. I’ll enjoy Saturday & Sunday completely with zero work but, since Monday would normally be a work day, I’ll make it my chore day, which involves vacuuming, dusting, cleaning the kitchen, etc.
Weekends I have been trying to strike a balance. I feel like sometimes I have a very hard time not filling my time with something productive. I feel very restless. I have an endless task list.
But then, if I don’t let myself rest sometimes, I kind of break down and then don’t do anything at all, productive, restful or otherwise. Today is a really good example of that. It’s very hard for me to move today, in any direction.
It’s like you have to dose yourself with rest.
My husband and I are both really stretched right now between pressures at work and raising our son. We’re lucky if we have an hour to ourselves each night, and sometimes we have to spend that hour talking about life stuff or parenting stuff.
One decision we made is after we sell the old house we’re going to get a house cleaner. At least then we don’t have to spend our weekends cleaning.
I think ultimately it’s about balance. In my case I have to accept that not every household task needs to be done right this minute. And yes sometimes I’m allowed to just relax for a day. And stuff is allowed to sit on my list. And everything that feels urgent is not necessarily important.
And I think if I do that, I won’t fall apart on other days and keep hitting this wall where I feel like I can’t move.
