Why can't I just be a slacker?

Let me start by saying this isn’t really a thread meant to complain about my life. I’ll be the first to admit I have less to complain about than almost anyone. I have a stable job that pays well; I get to pursue hobbies and activites that I like; I’m healthy and happy; and I feel lucky everyday to have an amazing wife and awesome son (who just turned 7 months old). In all honestly, I live a pretty charmed life…though is it really charmed if you’ve worked hard to make it that way for yourself? In any case, I’m a fortunate guy. I know that.

But that being said, I sometimes feel like all this business of being a responsible and productive member of society is a real drag. I have plenty of duties at work and home that force me to be accountable and reliable all the time, or shit will fall apart. And it’s even more extreme lately; now that there’s a completely dependent and helpless person in my house, it occurs to me that I’m officially “on call” 24/7/365. Blowing off my responsibilities is not an option, even for a little bit. Sure, I can go have some “me time” for a few hours here or there…but the weight of being an adult is always there, informing my every decision, keeping me grounded. I can’t forget my duties, and I have to act like a grown-up all the time. sigh

Some days, I just wish I didn’t have to wake up before dawn, didn’t have go to work, didn’t have to cook dinner…didn’t have to do anything. Part of me (a big part on some days) just wants to sit around the house, play video games, eat Doritos, and wallow in my own filth. It’s funny, because even back when I had no real responsibilities, I never acted that way. I’ve always been motivated to be useful and productive, even if it’s just a product of knowing what’s good for me. And I don’t actually think that being a sloth would make me happy in the long run. But from time to time, there is a definite lure in being useless to everybody, counted on by no one, and just generally a total waste of oxygen.

I know the occasional desire to be free of the daily grind and “real life” isn’t a terribly unique sentiment. (That’s why this share counts as both mundane and pointless.) I’m sure everyone saddled with responsibility has escapist fantasies. Mine don’t involve “getting away” as much as “going nowhere” and being totally lazy. Of course some people manage to pull that off with alarming success…98% of the time I think of them with a mixture of pity and contempt. But every so often, I’m secretly a little jealous.

If you find yourself feeling this way from time to time, I’d like to hear about it. And if you think I’m a spoiled asshole who should stop whining until he has real problems, than I suppose I want to hear that, too. Otherwise why would I post this on a public message board, right?

you mean everyone doesn’t feel this way?

Well, it’s the reason I spent most of my life working for myself. It didn’t remove all the resposibilities and obligations, but it certainly made for more flexible scheduling, and choices. I’ve had a regular job for the past 5 years, and had been enjoying it until recently. But 5 years is a long time for doing the same thing (despite the variety this same thing has been). So I feel this way now. I did retire for a while, feeling the way you describe, but it didn’t take long to get bored, and I missed the disposable income.

I used to feel like that ALL the time, until I had my emergency Appendectomy.
I was out on disability for 6 weeks. Sure the first 2 weeks REALLY sucked, pain, weak, irritable… just miserable.After the third week I started feeling pretty good. I actually enjoyed the third and fourth weeks, but weeks 5 and 6 sucked ass. I got bored…how depressing is daytime TV? How long can you play Xbox? How much reading can you do before your eyes fall out of their sockets. I had waaaay to much time on my hands. I even alphabetized my CD’s, cleaned out the walk in closet. Man, I was going stir crazy! I was SO happy to become a fully functioning member of society again…and only after 6 weeks off! Everytime I feel like you described in your post I think about those last 2 weeks!

When I lived alone, every night I would come home from work, eat junk food, drink beer by the quart, and play computer games. But I felt depressed and lonely.

Now i’m married, I live in a big house, cook dinner, drink responsibly…and yet I miss back when I was lazy and drunk all the damn time. I know I’m better off now, but still kinda miss my old life sometimes. Greener grass I guess.

I kinda felt like that before the kids got here but once they did it was like all of a sudden I was trying to manage four people’s worth of responsibilities and I needed to just ‘tune out’ or go insane.

So, I just look seriously into my husband’s eyes and tell him, ‘I am going on break.’ Usually, he’s okay with it (sometimes he might ask me questions first if there are things he needs to take over). I just stop. Sometimes I read. Sometimes I surf the dope. Sometimes I watch TV. Sometimes it’s only for a few minutes, sometimes over an hour.

He does it, too.

Just having the freedom to be able to say that you need a break has been life-altering. The panic of being constantly overwhelmed has been greatly reduced (even though I am doing just as much as before).

The 24/7ness of parenting can feel like a real grind. 51% the most sublime joy imaginable, 49% the biggest pain in the ass ever.

It’s about to get easier in terms of watching-the-child, though. In a month or two your son will learn to play by himself for 30-60 minutes at a time. It will feel awesome.

I think I’m a better slacker than you are. I spent a year and three months like that, and was quite happy. Other than the occasional trip to the beach and seeing my girlfriend on weekends, I got really skilled at being unemployed.

It got scary towards the end, though, as I was out of money and got an eviction notice from my apartment. Then I found a job and an apartment on the same day. It was a very happy day, but my life changed completely. I went from doing nothing all day and nothing all night to working all day and packing all night.

It was great for me, but I really missed the slacking.

My life has been animated by two concepts. My father always said that if you need to work more than eight hours to get the job done, you’re doing it wrong. And I learned early on that you can make more money with your brain and a pencil than you can with your hands.

I took these concepts to heart. While I love working on cars and houses, that’s always been a hobby even if full time very often. For 25 years or more I would be considered “retired” by many people. Yet I’m happy to work around the clock on a given project. I guess I’d be a slacker, but not a lazy slacker. Many days I will run, speed walk and bike almost all day long. Every day it will be something. It’s my schedule and my decision what I do each day for the most part.

The funding has always been there. I lack for nothing.

You can just be a slacker, but not if you have a kid and wife and shit. I slack my way through life on afternoons and weekends because I don’t have anyone depending on me but myself (for instance, last night I spent 4 hours drawing crap on doodleordie.com). It’s kinda nice on one hand, but very lonely on the other.

I just had a play on that. Seems quite fun, I could play it for 4 hours easily, even with pesky commitments!

The ones writing the descritpions are pretty rubbish though from the looks of it. Or is that the point? I’m only in demo mode.

welcome to the club. It’s called “Everyone.” We meet at the bar.

Yeah…like I said, I know it’s not unusual to feel that way. I just find myself thinking it more often than I’m used to. Don’t worry, I’m not gonna leave the family to go be a beach bum or anything.

when you say this:

what’s your workload actually like? When was the last vacation you took, how long was it, and what did you do?

I have a tablet, which makes it even more fun. I suck at mouse-drawing, but with my tablet I can keep doing it for hours and have fun. And there’s a Greasemonkey addon that substantially expands the color palette. It’s more addictive than WoW! :eek:

The way it works is everybody on the site alternates between posting a picture and a description. There are frequent raids by Redditors and /b/ though, and a lot of the racial slurs, genitals, and furry stuff come from them. If you get something you can’t or won’t draw, just make something up that looks cool. I usually default to fruits and vegetables having fun (a carrot dancing under a disco ball, for instance).

My job fits comfortably in a normal 40-hour week, and doesn’t cause me to do much outside the usual 9-5 (or 7:30-4, as it were). I travel occasionally for work, but only for a couple days at a time, every month or so.

My last real vacation was in May 2010, which was a very relaxing 10-day trip to Hawaii. Nothing but a couple weekend trips for fun since then. Does paternity leave count as a vacation? I didn’t think so.

Last summer I had an epiphany - spouse and both kids went on a road trip to SoCal - I got to stay behind under the guise “I need to work”. Even though I went to work every day that week, the evenings and one weekend were my own, and I got to do everything any anything I wanted - alone. It takes a break like that to realize how your time is under constant assault - especially as a parent. I realized it had been about 17 years since I spend that much time by myself, and never in my own home. It was AWSOME!!

It also gave me perspective on where I am in life compared to where I thought I would be when I was young, and gave me a deeper appreciation for my family at the same time. I feel everyone needs some solitude every now and then. If I had known 17 years ago it would be that long until I got a break like that, I would have made more of an effort to shorten the absence of it.

Like you, I have always had a strong work ethic. I attribute it to my upbringing. My parents were workaholics, and I was expected to be the same. (Strangely, my brother and sister did not follow in their footsteps. Both are slackers.)

I have no idea what it would be like to be a slacker; I have never not worked. It is so ingrained in me that I often feel guilty when I’m on vacation. “Shouldn’t I be working?” I ask myself.

We live in a society where being a good worker is considered “noble” and “virtuous.” I often question if this is a good thing, as being a consummate worker is somewhat akin to slavery. “Is my purpose in life to serve other people? When do I get to enjoy my life?” :confused:

Having said all of that, I have complete contempt for slackers. But only because most are mooching off of other people one way or another. (I ***hate ***moochers.)

So on the one hand you can work all the time, which is not very satisfying as it makes you feel like an indentured servant. On the other hand, you can be a slacker, which would require you to mooch off someone else (unless you had millions stashed away in the bank). Neither option is good.

Slacker here. It’s awesome. My life totally fucking rocks.

I have only had one “real” job in my whole life, and that was only for one year (March 10, 1994 to March 9, 1995).

My schedule is my own, and I am content to play guitar, video games, hike, bike, kayak, etc. all day every day for weeks or months at a time. Sometimes I buy a new instrument just to learn it (lately I’ve started playing bass).

When I need money, I find work. And I love the work I do. I’m fairly well-respected professionally, so when I start looking for work it usually doesn’t take me long to find myself booked solid for weeks or months. If I find myself starting to feel burned out or wanderlust, I just stop booking gigs.

That said, my lifestyle isn’t for everyone. It’s not always easy, nor has it always been as pleasant as it is currently. There were times when I was younger that I was struggling to pay my bills, get better at my craft, and establish myself in the business. Even now, clients come and go, gigs cancel, etc. But I wouldn’t (and at this point in my life, likely couldn’t) live any other way. It works for me, and I love it.

What field do you work in?