I am very tall for a woman (5’11") and not exactly slender (about a size 16). I smile a lot (more of a habit than anything) and I am of average attractiveness I would say.
People who don’t know me well find me intimidating, confident, strong …
But inside I am a really timid person who worries about everything, is terrified of anything and anyone who is unfamiliar, I have horrible self-esteem …
This severe contradiction between how I look and who I really am has caused a lot of confusion and mixed signals in a variety of situations - work, social situations, in the hospital when my baby was born …
People look at me and think I can take care of myself, and when I need help or reassurance, it really throws them off.
Anyone out there know what I’m talking about, and/or experience the same thing?
No way. The guy in the mirror doesn’t match my personality at all. I look a lot tougher and more masculine than I really am. Inside I’m a geeky, neurotic, insecure child. Outside I’m a mafia hitman.
Actually, I’m a little fond of the discrepancy. I think I’ve always gotten way more respect than I deserve simply because I look menacing.
Well, people always assume I’m a follower, while I either have the authority or I do my own thing. When in those rare cases where authority is asigned randomly based on looks (random group leaders, etc. ) I never get picked. What the people don’t know is that if I’m not the leader, I’ll destabilize the entire group with passive-agressive independent behavior
My appearance and a description of my personality would match.
but my body and ME don’t fit, if that makes any sense.
I mean- I’m curious and I love to learn and I have big brown eyes. I’m young, shy, and innocent and I’m short with blonde hair and freckles. I’m nerdy and I’m not pretty. I’m not sharp and I don’t have sharp features. I’m not strong and I don’t look it.
but I still don’t fit. My bones are too bulky for my demeanor. I take up too much space. I’m too awkward. My face is too large. I suppose I feel like the real me would be a very petite, pretty girl with fine features and small bones- sort of the build of a Japanese girl, but with a white girl’s head- and instead I got stuck in an ogre body. I feel like my bulky body should belong to somebody who can fill it with self.
I don’t think of myself as a creepy weird guy, but I think it’s become kind of self-fulfilling, because I am avoided and left alone a lot, and in doing so I have begun talking to myself out loud, and am turning into a cranky old dude.
Stainz, wow, you could almost be describing me. I am very tall, and I try to appear confident, but I think I’m just a mess inside. I definitely have self-esteem problems, which I try to cover up with humor.
I had a difficult childhood with a father who was emotionally unavailable and borderline abusive. So as a young adult, I married a man who (guess what?) is emotionally availble and borderline abusive.
I’m trying to work on myself so my outside matches my inside. I found that taking yoga classes helps. And…I’m trying to gather up the strength to leave my marriage for good.
I’m tall, slim, and smiley. People generally think that I’m confident and happy, which, for the most part, is true. Oddly enough, I somehow manage to look like a vegetarian. People ranging from those I have just met to those I’ve known for ages regularly say things like, “Oh, I thought you were a vegetarian,” when they see me eat meat. I would estimate being told this twenty to thirty times, no joke, since I’ve come to college. For some reason, it didn’t happen quite as much in high school.
In some ways yes. No one can ever guess my ethnic origins (though they often try and are usually “sure they’re correct” ). I think my unique looks match my personality(that’s not a boast folks; it’s not always a good thing).
On the other hand, people seem to automatically think I’m a non-smoking vegetarian which couln’t be further from the truth.
If you’re looking at a middle aged, divorced father of two who spends way to much time at the gym, too much money on clothes and shoes, struggling to find a fulfilling career track, exhausted by the prospect of dating, secretly obsessed by female beauty, way overdue for a vacation and fighting the ever growing urge to buy a motorcycle… all with a stupid pride, resillience and the belief that very soon I’ll have all this figured out… then yeah… I guess they do.
I’m 5.9, which is average in Dutch, a size 14 and I am generally described as “Junoesque” or 'walks and talks like a baroness".
I dress with care, but I don’t follow fashion and often I can’t be bothered to get all the cat hair out of my clothes and to wear the matching, but godawful uncomfortable shoes, so my dress is often: “She tried, but she didn’t quite succeed”.
As for my demeanor: I’m told I come across as confident and bossy. (Apart form the times I’m friendly, playful or panicky, of course). The way I talk seems to contribute most to that impression of confidence and bossyness, more then my looks.
So yeah, I 'd say I make the right impression.
Stainz, most people feel far more insecure then they appear to be to others. I’m insecure too, but when I found out so many if not all people felt that way, I got sort of impatient with my own insecurity and didn’t pay much attention to it anymore. Whenever my own little insecurity-voice starts: *“Oh, I can’t do it and what will they be thinking and Oh my god what did I just SAY?” * I sort of override her with: *“Yeah, yeah. Heard it all before from you, got through the day/meeting/party anyway. Got anything worthwhile to remark? If no, please shut up, little miss Insecurity. You’re not new, you’re not interesting and you sure ain’t cute anymore. Sorry.” *
I still like compliments, and will do my best to get them, but I don’t *need * them anymore.
I think that I’m more confident, secure, and knowledgeable than many people might guess from my appearance. I’m short, fat, and young-looking, but I don’t hesitate to take charge (and am an effective leader), I know lots of stuff that people don’t expect me to know, I don’t suffer fools, and I flirt like I’m hot.
For the most part, my looks match my personality. I can never seem to convey true anger or annoyance, though. People always assume I am joking when I’m actually pissed off, which only serves to piss me off more. I don’t get mad often, which most likely has something to do with my inability to accurately express this emotion.
Other than the fact that I feel much younger than I look, I think my appearance matches my personality fairly well. Once when I was talking to a customer service person on the phone, he suddenly blurted out “You sound like a redhead.” This wasn’t a psychic-hotline customer service person, either. So at least the hair portion of my looks seems to be in synch with my personality.
My innocent face has gotten me out of trouble, traffic tickets, tight situations.
I’m actually quite naughty and mischievous. People are always shocked when I’ll come out with a ribald comment or joke, they never expect it. I’ve gotten good at using it, too, at least in situations where it’s not actively hurting anyone…like playing little jokes and getting someone else blamed for them. (I always 'fess up eventually.)
Darn it, did I just reveal my Master Plan for taking over the world to you guys? :bats eyelashes: Who? Little old me?
Not sure, but I think some of the time I just may match up. Other times I may not smile enough, but I am cordial enough. Other times I smile too much and don’t want anything to do with anybody.
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