I don’t really care if they’re moving around, so long as they’re doing so reasonably quietly. (if, for some reason, you need to go through your yoga sequence - well, that’s all you.)
But if they talk… even worse, if they talk to me - that’s a problem. I can watch a movie or have a conversation. I am not interested in doing both at the same time. Also, if you happened to be in inverted triangle during the big reveal - also all you… do not expect me to explain what you missed.
I definitely do it sometimes; my attention span isn’t the best. Ms. P tries not to get annoyed, just like I try not to get annoyed if she needs to go back to hear one word of dialog she missed (which I missed as well, but don’t care).
Sure, that makes sense.
And this, too.
This is the opinion that puzzles me. I would think that wither you are enjoying the movie or you aren’t. If you are having fun, why does it matter if your are part of someone else’s background noise?
I get that it’s fun to talk about the movie afterwards, but even if I’m not paying full attention, I usually do follow the movie, and usually do talk with my husband about it after. And if not… How if he worse off than if i just stayed upstairs and didn’t watch with him at all?
Or do you only watch movies accompanied?
Is this one of those things that actual humans have to explain to the Dope? Experiencing artistic performances together is one of the many ways that people share experiences. So, yes, watching a movie by yourself is a qualitatively different kind of activity than watching a movie with someone. And this can go for a lot of other things, like a music concert or a sporting match.
When I go to a movie with someone I expect to have a shared experience, and it can be the same kind of experience even if the movie is playing in a television at home.
One must ask oneself, what is this person doing in my house, or alternatively, why am I in ēs house unless the point is to do something together? And that something might be to have a conversation, or share a meal, or play a game, or it might be to watch a movie.
If you choose the latter, then yes it can be irritating if the other person stops paying attention, because then why did we get together to do this? Why don’t I just watch it when you’re not here?
Whatever it is we are doing together should be done with the same level of attention from both of us, or else we aren’t doing something together. We are just doing different things in each other’s proximity.
People that do this make me homicidal. Well, let me back up. If you aren’t interested in the movie and want to wander off and do something else and completely and fully give up on the movie, then fine.
But don’t start fucking around with your phone, asking who an actor is, looking him up on Imdb and then asking me if I remember the other movie they found him in and then asking me what is going on with the movie that I am watching when you are not. Because then I miss an important plot point explaining what has happened to you because you have the attention span of a toddler.
Addendum: I do not want to hear how bad a female star’s hairstyle is in the movie. I don’t fucking care. Watch the movie! Or not. But let me watch it at least!
I’m married. I do lots of stuff in my husband’s proximity.
But i also watch TV with friends from time to time. And we don’t just sit there lost in the show. We comment on what’s happening, we say snarky things about the plot, sometimes someone will play on his phone or get up to get a glass of water it nibble on the leftover pizza. It feels very much like a shared experience, despite, maybe because, we are engaged with each other and not just the show.
Wandering around, playing on the phone, falling asleep. None of my business when you get right down to it, but these things get under my skin and I have to actively talk myself down. I mean, it’s my psychosis so I can’t really blame someone whose innocuous behavior triggers it. But it is a pain in the ass to have to pull myself out of the program to put my brain in it’s straightjacket.
Exactly
Yeah, I agree that it’s nice to watch a show with someone. I was just surprised by the visceral unhappiness of people when their show-watching partner is less engaged than they are.
It’s actually kind of an imposition on others. “We like this movie. Regardless of whether you like it or not, you need to sit on the couch and watch it with us, from beginning through end. You must pay it your full attention; don’t treat it as if it’s background noise or undeserving of attention. And if you leave at any point, you’re rude.”
It’s no more an imposition than inviting someone to share in any other activity.
Movies are not a shared experience. That’s why they are the worst thing to do together and they are the worst idea for a date. Many of the people in this thread that love movies are annoyed that someone moving around might pull them out of the movie because watching a movie is an individual experience.
Watching a movie together just to talk about it afterword is like the worst kind of book club imaginable. At least with a book club you can do your reading on your own time and just get together for the talking part.
Talk to each other, cook a meal, sit by a fire, play cards. Hell, I’d rather help you paint your living room than watch a movie.
You can’t be serious.
Of course, all those things might be great activities. But I have spent many valuable experiences with my spouse and friends watching a movie together and then discussing it afterward.
In fact, one of my fondest recent memories of an old friend (I have known him for almost 40 years) is meeting up to watch the latest Blade Runner movie, and then having dinner together afterward, with a long conversation about what we had seen, what we thought about it, the ideas it triggered, etc.
Of course watching a movie is as good an activity to do with someone as anything else in that list.
And of course there are plenty of activities that might not be ideal to do with a perfect stranger. That’s not really the point.
Yes, they are.
It is true that, while you are watching a movie with another person, you are not interacting directly with that person, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t sharing an experience with that person. Watching a movie, watching a play, attending a concert, riding a roller coaster, attending a wedding, attending a funeral—these are all examples of things that most human beings would prefer to do with someone else rather than alone, even though they’re not interacting directly with that other person while they’re doing them.
Out of curiosity, do you consider all those other things to be individual experiences?
Movies are excellent for dates, at least movies in real theaters which was the only thing available when I was dating. It increases time with someone while letting you ease into talking with each other.
I don’t know about first dates involving watching Netflix. VCRs weren’t available until after I got married. But watching stuff on TV with my wife is fun. “We’ve seen that set before!”
I guess anyone thinking movie watching has to be an individual experience has never been to a Rocky Horror Picture Show screening.
In fact, getting fully absorbed in a movie lends itself to a level of vulnerability akin to intimacy.
My wife and I have distinct tastes. She is watching “The Crown” now which I have no interest in. When I watched “Mean Streets” and “Goodfellas” she did her own stuff. There is plenty of stuff we watch together though.
Why be limited to stuff that you both like? For dates, sure, but not long term.
First off, everything you listed has a ton more interaction then a movie. Second, your example is about going out to a movie, the OP is talking about getting together with friends to watch a movie at someone’s house.
Getting together to watch a movie is a great birthday party for a 12 year old, it’s not a great birthday party for a 40 year old. Once you old enough to drive, getting together to watch a movie is just an excuse you use to hang with your friends, because your parents need something better than “we’re just gonna hang out”. Once you move out, getting together to watch a movie is just an excuse to get together to drink/ have sex. Once you’re old enough that you don’t need the excuses, you stop getting together to watch movies. There are very few adults who actually want to get together and watch movies, evidenced by the OP.
Except for the proposition that it might be relatively unpopular for adults to want to get together to watch movies–which is a debatable proposition that might be proven–and the statement that there might be other activities with more direct interaction, I’d say that every single statement in that post is wrong.
On top of that, the assertion that this is something that’s only appropriate for children is anti-intellectual, anti-art, and insulting.