I do this too. For instance, I go horse riding once a week. I really love it, but when it’s actually time to leave the house and go, it feels like the biggest chore in the world. Here’s a suggestion I read somewhere, that sounds really helpful.
Get a notebook or a journal or something. Every time you’re about to go to an event, write down all your feelings (don’t want to go, what a schlepp, rather stay home and read, etc.) Give the event a score out of 10 for how much you think you’ll enjoy it. Then when you come home, write down how much you actually enjoyed the event, and give it a score out of 10 again.
After a while you’ll find you have two types of events: ones where your “before” score is much the same as your “after” score, and ones where the “after” score turns out to be much higher. If both scores are low, you hate that type of event. Stay away and don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about it.
But it sounds like you have more of the second type, where your first score will be low and the second much higher. That’s the type you need to make an effort to attend, because they make you feel happier. A good way to persuade yourself to go, then, is to read through all your previous journal entries about that activity. Once you’ve read your thoughts about the last three times you didn’t want to go paintballing and ended up loving it, you might be more motivated to go.
I’m wrestling with this too. I’ve mentioned it a few times on the board recently. On the one hand, I’m perfectly content to sit at home and watch movies or play games. Definitely an introvert. On the other hand, I keenly feel the lack of friendships that creates. I like going out and doing stuff with friends every so often, and I’d like to find someone to do that with. But I’m not inclined to go out without friends, and I can’t make friends if I don’t go out.
Whenever I’m feeling gregarious, I just head up to the bar by myself. I don’t know who will be at the bar but I do know that about 90% of whoever happens to be there at that time; I’m friendly with.
It’s like having friends you can turn “on” and “off”.
Now if only I could find a way to do this with my family…
I called my county mental health division. I told them I have depression and need to see someone about it. Your insurance (if you have any) would be able to help with that.
I’m also way more likely to leave the house if I’m meeting someone wherever I’m going. I never go anywhere by myself just to go somewhere. Kidnappings work too. I’ve had a friend show up at my house and say we’re going somewhere, but that’s really rare. It also shows how likely it is that I’ll be at the house if people stop by.