I know it sounds shallow but it seems like people who are mean are usually fat or ugly or look weird. Like when you see a criminal caught on the news, they tend to look strange. You do have exceptions like Ted Bundy and Jodi Arias but in general they are ugly.
I also notice people on Internet forums who bully me and others are nearly always ugly while most of the nice people are attractive or at least not bad looking. What do you think?
I was going to eviscerate the OP for moronic blanket statements that begin with, “I know it sounds shallow…”, but now I can’t for fear he’ll think I’m not the handsome devil that I am IRL.
Looks, good or bad, will feed into the construction of an individual’s personality. If someone’s shunned for being ‘ugly’ that may help them onto the fast-track to ruin, while a good-looking person may become unpleasantly self-serving, fuelled by narcissism.
It’s only the lucky few of us whose dazzling looks have taught them humility when dealing with the plain, common man.
I disagree. I think overweight and ugly people are often mean spirited and arrogant. I say that as a person who is clinically obese myself. It’s just something I’ve noticed.
I’ve found that it has to do more with yourself and how you interact with others. I’ve seen the biggest, burliest, mean looking biker types be reduced to puddles if smiles when someone is nice to them. It’s usually all in what you present, not so much the other way around.
There is no doubt that how someone looks effects their personality–after all, it changes how others react to you, which fundamentally shapes your reality. There is also no doubt that your personality effects how you look–especially as we age, our looks are more and more the product of our personal aesthetics, our choices, our priorities.
That said, people are really fucking complicated. So the ultimate expression of both personality and looks can end up in almost any combination and I’ve never noticed any overwhelming trend in any particular direction.
IF the original poster’s assertion is correct (and that’s a big if) I suspect it’s because people tend to treat attractive people better. If you’re good looking and therefore people tend to be more friendly and respectful toward you, there’s a good chance that you’ll be nice back to them.
In addition, I’m willing to bet (without doing research that I’m too lazy to do right now) that there is a correlation between attractiveness and health/wellness. If you’re healthy and feeling good, you would be more willing to be friendly toward others as well.
Tons of supposition and correlation, here. Don’t treat this as a well-founded hypothesis on my part.
I’ve found that people who have had it easier in life, in general, tend to be more trusting and have fewer insecurities. It is easier for them to be nice because they haven’t been exposed to life’s unfairness. They are friendly because people have never been mean to them. They aren’t overly sensitive because their buttons have never been pushed
However, adversity can also make some people nicer than what you would expect, because they have more empathy for certain kinds of situations and are less likely to judge.
It’s important to distinguish “nice” from “polite”, though. I think the politeness is definitely correlated with social skills, which is also correlated with how good-looking someone presents. But you can be a polite person and still be a jerk. See Eddie Haskell. I used to work with a cute, chirpy female coworker. Very friendly, yes, and probably more attractive than not. But behind closed doors, she traded in the meanest gossip. I would catch her rolling her eyes when others would be speaking at staff meetings. She also had a major temper.
They don’t exactly prep you for the photos. The media loves to show us that the most attractive people in the world look awful in their mug shots.
And you’re determining this how?
If you think attractive people are nice, try thwarting one a little. Being good-looking tends to help one glide thru life, with the downside that they react quite strongly when they “stub their toe on the brick of fate,” as PG Wodehouse put it.
How are you determining ‘nice’ and ‘mean’?
I used to live up the street from a woman named Sally. She was one of the meanest people I ever met. Everybody warned me about her when I moved into the neighborhood.
Once I got to know her she was really a nice person and would be the first to offer you the shirt off her back if you needed it. Just don’t get in her face or give her any shit.
I’ve known people who are nice to your face, everybody thinks they are sweet and kind. Behind your back, totally different story.
If course some people who are mean on the outside are mean to the core, and some people who are nice on the outside are nice to the core.
I’ve never noticed a correlation between niceness and looks, or wealth, or education.
I think there are so many variables here, feeding into what’s “good looking” and “ugly,” and what’s “nice” and “mean,” that I’ve gotta throw my hands up and say there’s no correlation.