Does anyone take John Rosemond seriously?

[Rilchiam]

I posted this in someone else’s thread a few days ago, and I’d forgotten about it until I saw another Rosemond column, shortly before I saw HazelNutCoffee’s thread about tutoring a 4 y/o. I keep telling myself, “This guy’s not serious. It’s a joke; a satire on Indigo Children or something equally far out in the other direction. He can’t really expect people to do and say these things.” But perhaps not. I’ll repeat what I posted earlier…

I’d like to know if there’s anyone who follows John Rosemond’s approach. I don’t mean, do they read his books and take a tough stance on homework. I mean, do they confine their kids to their rooms for months (for the first infraction, “so they’ll never forget”), mock them, belittle them, change the rules on them without warning, and generally do all they can to break their spirits? And I’m not exaggerating: he really does advocate breaking the spirit. Because all children are born bad, according to him.

He has a tone of utter contempt for children and teens. Some of his case histories could just as easily be presented as examples of psychological abuse (although they also seem made up). Overall, his “advice” seems like it’s aimed at people who somehow got stuck with kids and want to carry on as if they don’t have any. It’s all about pushing the child away while demanding total subjugation. I don’t see how anyone who loves their child could treat them the way Rosemond advocates. Does anyone, or is he an outlier?

Meanwhile, his latest column is about stepparents, and whether or not they should discipline. That’s a pretty rich subject for one column, I’d say, but Rosey has the answer to everything. Push the kid away for your own convenience. First he tells one of his no-background, no-details anecdotes about how his family cold-shouldering him was the best thing that ever happened to him, then he ends with this:

The journalist asked for my recommendations. Here they are: When a stepfamily is formed, the marriage relationship must come first. That is family rule number one, regardless of prefixes or the lack of them. It is in everyone’s best interest that pre-existing parent-child relationships be “reduced” and relegated to the proverbial backseat.

Really? Really.

The children should be prepared for this in advance, so that their new status doesn’t come as a shock. The more proactive the adults involved, the more likely everyone will succeed in the new family arrangement. And mind you, it is in everyone’s best interest that this new family succeeds.

Okay, I guess it’s good that the kids get a heads-up. But what is the best way to tell your kid “Now that I’m married again, you and I are going to be ‘reduced’ and you’ll be in the proverbial backseat.” Isn’t that supposed to be an unfounded fear for a kid to have – they think they’re going to be forgotten, but they’re not, and you just have to reassure them that from now on you’re going to balance your relationships? No, you’re supposed to put the kid last and tell them so?

So I’m just wondering if anyone does this, or knows anyone who does this? Does anyone really believe you should spend as little time as possible with your children? And that if they say they hate you, you’ll know you’ve done the right thing? (Yes, he has said that. In those exact words.)

[Maus_Magill]

@Rilchiam

I’d like to know if there’s anyone who follows John Rosemond’s approach. I don’t mean, do they read his books and take a tough stance on homework. I mean, do they confine their kids to their rooms for months (for the first infraction, “so they’ll never forget”), mock them, belittle them, change the rules on them without warning, and generally do all they can to break their spirits? And I’m not exaggerating: he really does advocate breaking the spirit. Because all children are born bad, according to him.

I’d like a cite for this, please. I’ve been reading his column for several years, and while I don’t always agree with him, I don’t think he’s ever advocated confining them to their rooms for months at a time, or mocking them, or belittling them, or changing the rule on them without warning.

[Rilchiam]

Okay, here’s one column.

A lot of it is in his books, though. I’ve done Amazon and Google searches and have been increasingly :eek: at what I’ve seen.

Teen-Proofing, for instance. The linked shows where he threatened his fifth-grade son with seven years of confinement if that’s how long it took to get his grades and behavior to an “acceptable” level. Scroll down to a later incident, where he tells the kid that if he f’s up just once in his freshman year, dad will set it up so he’ll never get out of confinement until he gradates. (With the result being that the son rats out his friends. I think that’s another goal: see to it that the child has no social life and no one to turn to. You know, like abusive spouses do.)

And then there’s this. 14 y/o girl stays in her room most of the time. Of course, this means she’s “possessed by Satan” instead of a normal 14 y/o who doesn’t want to hang out with her parents all the time. Remember that this is the same guy who wants children sent to their rooms so their parents can enjoy life unhindered by needy offspring. But when a teenager stays in her room by choice, she’s a World Class Creep (his capitalization).

So they take the door off her room. Yeah, she called them jerks; shame on her. Their reaction is jerkish at the very least. She’s got one doorless month to “put Satan out of your life forever,” after which she has to pay for a new door, while getting mocked and belittled. And of course, earning the money for the new door takes its toll on her social life. “And they all lived happily ever after.” :dubious:

[Rilchiam]

And notice that in that last link, he doesn’t even give the girl a name, just calls her “The Creep.” The Creep does this; The Creep does that. To me, that’s extremely disturbing. She’s not a person, just a Creep. She might be a depressed Creep, but that doesn’t seem to matter. She’s not doing precisely what the parents want, whatever that may be, so she’s a Satan-possessed Creep.

[The_Hamster_King]

My wife got one of his books when we were new parents and we both recoiled in disgust when we read it.

It’s parenting for people who don’t know the difference between authority and bullying.