I was disgusted to watch a 20/20 special the other day which described the murder of a teenage boy in Amarillo, TX by another group of teenagers. The boy murdered was what we would best bescribe as punks, not afraid to express individuality and stray from the mainstream. The boy that was charged with running him over and killing him was your jock type all american white boy. He never spent a night in jail and never will. His punishment for murder, probation. Would the circumstance have been different if the situation reversed? Yes, honestly I think it would. When it comes down to life and death, does what we wear or what we listen to, etc. etc. really matter? Should I encourage my sons NOT to be individual, but to look and act like everybody else?
so you found a girl who thinks really deep thoughts. what’s so amazing about really deep thoughts? Tori Amos
You’ve got several questions here. The first one: “Does appearance matter?”
Well, to many people it does. If you want to get ahead in most companies, you have to dress reasonably well and behave in ways that are conventional. There are notable exceptions, but the larger a company gets the more it becomes driven by the status quo. If you work as a professional, it really makes no sense not to go along with this (especially while you are young, and lack any seniority - when you reach the level you want to stay at, then you can get away with more).
Appearance also matters to many people outside of the context of a work environment - the clothes you wear do tell people something about your attitudes. If you conform to the punk conventions (you are not being an individual, you are just conforming to different standards) people will read a lot into this - maybe more than is correct but maybe not. Obviously, punks should not be killed - and people who kill a punk should go to jail.
If the situations were reversed, there probably would be a different outcome. Even many people who are against racism or other bigotry feel differently when it is someone’s specific behavior that is being discriminated against. And a punk, or a goth, or a hippy or whatever is defined by behaviors that they choose. The most obvious behavior is their choice of clothing - they use it to brand themselves and others use it to identify them.
As for what you should tell their children - well I’d start by telling them that you can’t ‘be yourself’ by doing what all your friends are doing - regardless of what your parents or teachers or ‘the jocks’ think about it.
Appearance absolutely matters. Society looks down upon those they perceive to be “outside of the system”: punks, hippies, anarchists, bohemians, Gs, etc. Any one who falls into one of these categories can testify to this. Brian, from the article, clearly identified with the punk scene which is one of the more visually different. There are a lot of punks around Portland and most of them are quiet, but I know a bunch of them that just cruise around looking for trouble, so the issue could be a bit more complex than poor different guy v mean frat jock.
I think it’s understandable (though sad, indeed) that the system is threatened by those who tend not to act like the others. Brian sure seems like he was a handsome, artistically talented kid from the small pic & bio. Damn shame.
Overtly illegal actions (like hitting him with a Cadillac) should be prosecuted the same (execute the driver) regardless of what group the victim & perp belonged to. Justice SHOULD be blind.
The fact is, if you intentionally dress and act different, you must accept the consequences of prejudice or learn to make every day a battle.
Many of us can remember how painful it was as children, being different - desiring nothing more than to blend in and be accepted. Then we got a little older and realized we hated those we were blending into. So out of independence and rebellion we separated from the herd - well, the herd doesn’t like that.
Drain Bead and I watched that episode together and were both horrified by what we percieved was justice showing once again that it was peeking from beneath the blindfold.
Yer pal,
Satan
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I’m not debating this message, because in my experience, it’s true… I’ve been hearing it all my life and I’ve always wondered, “Different from whom?” Truth is, if you’re not clean-cut and wholesome-looking, or if you don’t look like you’ve just walked out of a magazine advertisement, you’re “different”, regardless what manner of dress you prefer.
I get so tired of hearing legions of people in grey suits preaching to the world about accepting and celebrating diversity. It’s a crock of shit. They don’t want to see diversity, they want to see more people in grey suits and they’re anxiously awaiting the day that this world becomes Gattaca.
Unfortunately, appearance does matter. Y’know, on second thought, maybe we should just have a universal, grey-suits-only dress code. Maybe then people would be forced to actually get to know one another and they could base their likes and dislikes on personality and character rather than what brand name a person is (or isn’t) wearing.
Will your children be happier if they look and act like anyone else? Maybe.
Will they be dumber if they’re not taught to think for themselves? Probably.
I’ve noticed that whenever I’ve asked other people’s opinion on something to do with children, almost everybody says “If they’re different the other kids will make fun of them” and “Why would you do that to your children?” So there is a powerful instinct for humans to “fit into the herd.”
In the case mentioned above, would the decision have been different if the situation was reversed? Very probably so.
Quand les talons claquent, l’esprit se vide.
Maréchal Lyautey
I saw that show as well, and was thinking about it on the drive in to work this morning. I really cannot fault the jury for finding guilt on the lesser charge of manslaughter, as murderous intent would be difficult to prove in that instance. But for the judge to impose probation only is, IMHO, absolutely ridiculous.
The defense’s offer of “self defense of a third party” didn’t wash with the defendant’s original statement nor the testimony of the girl in his car. That fact, plus his seemingly cavalier attitude, should have been a clue to the judge to lock this boy up. If not in jail, then in a psychiatric ward. Justice failed.
The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik
I saw that show as well, and was thinking about it on the drive in to work this morning. I really cannot fault the jury for finding guilt on the lesser charge of manslaughter, as murderous intent would be difficult to prove in that instance. But for the judge to impose probation only is, IMHO, absolutely ridiculous.
The defense’s offer of “self defense of a third party” didn’t wash with the defendant’s original statement nor the testimony of the girl in his car. That fact, plus his seemingly cavalier attitude, should have been a clue to the judge to lock this boy up. If not in jail, then in a psychiatric ward. Justice failed.
The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik
Unfortunately, in our society, appearance does matter. In the American culture (and there’s an oxymoron for you) we place a value on a person’s life based on their income, or income earning potential, and on whether they conform to societal norms. Thus, an all-American jock type’s life is considered to have more value than a “punk’s” life. A wife and mother’s life is more valuable than a homeless person, her six-figure earning doctor husband’s life is more valuable than hers. Sentences for killing these people are dished out accordingly. If I were God, I think I would be royally pissed at mankind for the way we treat each other based on perceived status.
I never could get the hang of Thursdays. - Arthur Dent
Psycat, unfortunately it has always been like this and the “punks”, “hippies”, “outcasts” or whatever they were called have recieved a lot of grief for challenging societie’s mores and breaking through all of our taboos. It’s a hard job, but I would never shelter my kids from it. The reward for breaking out of the mold is too great. To think freely is the most wonderful thing you can wish for your kids. That’s one of the nice things about living in a populous city: It seems everyone has space for their own little niche. But that borderland that separates the suburbs from the rural areas is filled with hatred towards the change that is inevitably moving outwards/inwards towards them. Sorry if I’m waxing philosophic, but that’s how I feel.
Psycat: Maybe the question here is not whether appearance matters, but should it matter? While it may be true that it does, it is not necessarily right!
In my World of Myth class we’re dealing with those kind of conformity issues. Basically, most cultures in the world have had myths up until the last couple of centuries. Before the myths were gone, people conformed - nobody would want to get on any god’s bad side - and as a result, there were less senseless crimes like that. On the other hand, now that there is basically no mythology, people are thinking more for themselves and becoming punks/goths/hippies/etc. When that happens there is friction between the various elements. Of course this is my take on it. Both Joseph Campbell and my teacher think differently - myths give you an ideal to strive for. But basically it seems that the only way to prevent such violence is to prevent people from thinking for themselves, making the medicine much worse than the disease, IMHO.
You, you…hetero. Go make a baby, you woman lover!
— Dillan
Yes, there is pressure to conform. I believe that pressure is most keenly felt on the part of the individual in middle school (roughly grades 6-8). At that point, most children are very sensitive to the opinions of her peers, and those same peers typically lack the empathy and tact of their elders. I’ve noticed that they tend to be cruel toward one another, without even realizing it. I couldn’t really speak for most high schools, since my school had such a large degree of non-conformity (highly encouraged) that the only way to really stand out was to conform (our favorite paradox). So after eighth grade, I had a non-standard rearing (small high school in a big city, very different).