My take? It’s not being asocial that’s the problem. It’s misanthropy, which sometimes comes with it. You do have an obligation to care about other people*, but that doesn’t mean you have to actively socialize with them.
Though I will point out the different love languages, where, to some people, you come off as not loving them if you don’t do things for them. So, if you wish to communicate that you love them, you may want to periodically do things for them.
*Yeah, I believe you really do. It’s what holds society together. If you don’t care about others, then you will wind up hurting them. You don’t want to hurt them for the same reason you don’t want them to hurt you.
Y’all DO realize that you are socially interacting on a messageboard, right? And have all done so for years? Who says the ony worthwhile way to be social is in face-to-face contacts?
There are plenty of people who would be better off being non-people. Society would certainly benefit from their non-existence.
I disagree that being asocial means people don’t know you or care about you. The profoundly mentally disabled are asocial, as are the comatosed and machine life-supported. Many of these folks are cared for and loved immensely.
Lakai, I think asocial people are merely eccentric. Eccentrics can be kind or mean and anything in between. They can be valuable or worthless. They can be loving or unloving. They can be charismatic or dull as dishwater. None of these qualities relates directly to sociality. For instance, you can live the hermit’s life and still donate a huge fraction of your income to charity. You can be asocial and still pick up litter in your neighborhood and shovel snow off of the elderly’s sidewalks, etc.
Your family member sounds like a needier person than you are. Needy people love to take friends and family on guilt trips. If you care about this person and/or the relationship you have with them, then go ahead and take what they said as constructive criticism and do better by them. But if you don’t care, just shake it off. The truth is no one is motivated to be kind and generous towards others when there isn’t anything in it for them–even if it’s just a warm and fuzzy feeling. If you don’t get a warm and fuzzy feeling with this particular family member, then you can hardly be faulted for not being their BFF. But if there are practical matters at stake, then it may be worth it to you to at least pretend to care. That’s an intellectual choice you have to make, not emotional.
You are free to take it that way, but they are not alone in trying to deal with damage, we all have such damage, no one is exempt, and we learn to compensate and deal with it in ways that are also IMHO operating in a abnormal state.
So yes I’m saying that all of humanity is damaged, and yes I guess it’s demeaning in that respect. Pointing out the compensation method of some of them however I don’t see as demeaning, but YMMV.
I do find this to be insightful and in general true about the human condition. I do however disagree with your conclusion, also I disagree with what you said that such a person would be more in touch with reality, as a person knowing the above is more in touch with their spirituality then most (as opposed to the reality as they see beyond it), The conclusion I disagree with as there is also a different set of social/relationship bonds which are good and of Love overlaid on top of the system you state. 2 very different societies, one cruel and imprisoning and one loving and freeing. It is to me the meaning that Jesus stated with He stated the Kingdom of God is around you (and within which is the same thing). There is a very loving and caring society out there, once that damage is done and one tried to get back in touch with their heart again armed with what you stated and seek out the way to reconnect the heart.
I’m sure he has many friends he speaks to every day who are also day trading, friends all over the world and from many different backgrounds. I would suspect it isn’t the alone time, it’s his method of making money that’s changed him. He has to be conscious and sensitive to current events, trading strategies, the movement of capital in a virtual sense, market psychology and his own tolerance for risk. Whether he gets on with someone in the next cubicle or not won’t make him one bean.
If you’ve got it and don’t know that. You might beat yourself up.
'don’t . tho they haven’t found a cure. you can live with it . And make progress.
Group therapy apparently doesn’t work. Yet.
Easy up on yourself. admitting to it. is a good place to start.
OK?
You’re a train ride to no importance
You’re in love with hell existence
Money is all that you desire
Why don’t you pack it in and retire
It’s common nature you can’t fool me
I’m just the money that you can’t let free
Rainy day genius clouds your mind YOU’RE ANTI, YOU’RE ANTI-SOCIAL!
I am exceptionally good at talking to people. Indeed, I can talk to anyone about anything. Yesterday I had marvelous conversations with the bus driver taking me to work, a new temporary employee at work, and several customers.
However, I prefer to be alone most of the time. Does that make me a bad person?
It is also easier to mask awkwardness or social quirkiness on a message board. No one knows if you have poor eye contact, speech dysfluencies, or unusual grooming/dressing habits based on message board posts.
Also, my biggest problem with real life socializing never happens on a message board. When I’m in a thread that’s turned stupid or boring, I can easily leave it. I can decide to never return and no one will give me a hard time about being rude. But when I’m hanging out with people in real life and they are being stupid or boring, it’s not so easy to leave. If you break things off with people in real life, feelings get hurt and explanations are demanded. Internet socializing isn’t as fraught with emotion as real life socializing.
But if you pick that last option, people will run by and make fun of you, acting like you’re some sort of freak because you don’t read every comment in real time. Or make up stories about how you need that much time to come up with a response.