Should one care about what other people think of them? Please qualify your answer.
Yes, if one wants to be a minimally functioning member of society. One must care enough to interact with others, move about, and participate in the economy.
If one can live apart from society, grow and catch their own food, then maybe not. But then one has removed “other people” from the equation and the point becomes moot.
As with anything, it is a matter of degree.
If you don’t care what anyone thinks of you, you’re likely a sociopath and you’re going to have problems in society.
If you care what everyone thinks about you, you’re also mentally ill and are going to have problems in society.
I watched a WWE Table for 3 the other day including Lita. She said something about how strange it was to reach a point where she cared so much about what people thought about her and her career when “what got me to the table was NOT caring what people thought about me”.
As ever, it is a balancing act.
It seems to me that someone in a public performance field would be deluding themselves by thinking that they did not care what people thought of them.
I really don’t care. But I still care enough not to go in public stinky or naked, but as far as trying to be stylish or wearing the latest fashion, I couldn’t give a crap. I don’t work in the public, though. I assume if you are a hostess or counter person you got to look the part.
Absolutely. “What people think of you” is data that illuminates who they are and how you are perceived by them. Data is always important.
Whether or not you want to curb yourself based on that data is a very personal decision. At this point in my life I would advise against sacrificing any part of myself to please someone else who may not be willing to do the same for me.
I probably should, but sometimes I don’t.
Besides, my dogs like me.
I don’t care what everyone thinks but I do hope the majority of people I interact with have a favorable impression of me.
I care when it matters - what people think of you can be useful litmus, but IMO, it matters most when that comes to how you treat others.
If I wear odd shoes in public and people stare and disapprove, it doesn’t matter. I don’t need to care. Nobody is getting hurt.
But if people stare and disapprove because I shoved in ahead of them at the supermarket checkout, that matters - I need to care, because my response to that reaction determines my function as a member of society.
Yes, you should care. Because there are going to be numerous and frequent occasions when you want something from other people and what they think about you will be a factor in whether or not you get it.
Which people and/or how many and/or for what reason?
Yes, but only for certain reasons/situations.
The key questions are [ul][li]Are their opinions worth anything, and[/ul][/li][ul][li]Do I need anything from them?[/ul]If the answer to either is Yes, then I care. If the answer to both is No, I have better things to worry about.[/li]
Regards,
Shodan
The extent to which one should care about someone’s opinion of you ought to vary with your opinion of them.
You should care very much to gain the approval of those people you esteem. Presumably, the people you esteem embody the virtues you wish to emulate. So their opinion of you ought to matter, if it is based on those virtues.
For people you have no opinion of yet - you should wish to make a good impression, but be willing to risk their disapproval (particularly on points you care about).
For those you do not esteem - only care about what they think of you, to the extent that their approval or disapproval directly affects you. Presumably you don’t esteem them because they have some faults or biases you don’t wish to share.
In every case, you should always strive to be polite.
I care whether people want to murder me. That matters, in my opinion. Also whether they want to do things to me that I wouldn’t like, like beating me up, firing me from my job, or preventing me from doing things I want or need to do.
This doesn’t mean I’m necessarily going to change my behavior to suit such people’s wishes, but I at least want to be aware of the situation so I can decide how to act and react.
You never know, they might have a point.
You talking to me? Even if the people who want to murder me do have good reasons, I still am disinclined to acquiesce to their predilections. I’m close-minded that way.
No. Just speaking to the thread topic. Not caring what others think is like living life with blinders on.
My Daddy used to say “Bigger people than you haven’t cared, so why do I care what you think?” Rude? Yes. He was kind of an asshole.