The California Angels, of course. 
MEBuckner asks;
I’m 56, old enough to have learned to try to aviod being kicked, nudged, or sat down too fast. Live and learn, right? 
Anyway, I greatly enjoy my so’s gentle attentions to said balls. So does she.
So please, don’t give the Neuter One any ideas. Ok?
Peace,
mangeorge
The Brooklyn Dodgers. God has always been a HUGE Dodgers fan.
That’s why Los Angeles gets all those earthquakes, and why people refer to it as “that Godforsaken place.” And why Walter O’Malley is writhing in eternal hellfire.
**cmkeller wrote:
One of the fundamental tenets of Judaism is that G-d has no physical component. Hence, no penis. The references in the OT to “the hand of G-d”, “the back (not backside, you wise guys) of G-d”, etc. are (according to Jewish tradition) intended to convey certain concepts (e.g., G-d’s exercise of power, G-d’s mysterious ways) in terms that human beings can identify with.**
While I disagree with the Abrahamic religions on many points, this is one that I DO agree with; the Gods don’t have a physical form. They can chose to manifest in some physical form, if They so desire, but They don’t need one like humans do.
Of course, no one’s even defined what a God/ddess is yet, so arguing about Their physical form is kind of silly.
**C K Dexter Haven wrote:
The real question: when God puts on a hat, which baseball team logo is on it?**
After the miracle of the 1969 World Series, can there be any doubt?!
The talk of the baseball cap reminds me of a story.
Two rice farmers were working in their fields, and a god walked between them wearing a hat. The hat was blue on one side and red on the other. The farmers and the god all waved to each other. When the god got out of sight he took off the hat and turned it inside out. Doing this reversed the colors and he walked back by the same rice farmers and they all waved.
Later after being in the fields all day the farmers got together and were talking. One said “How about that god with the blue hat that walked by today?” The other said “He didn’t have on a blue hat it was a red hat!” And so they argued for hours about the color of the god’s hat.
The god was asked why he had done such a thing and he replied “That is part of my job.”
So I guess if it is the same god that it could be a Brooklyn Dodgers cap and a St. Louis Browns cap. What you think?
How on earth did we get from a penis to baseball caps.
Hmmm.
Freudian?
Peace,
mangeorge
Why would He need one? It would have to be just for pissing through I guess, given that he’s not married, and as I understand it, sex before marriage is sinful.
Oh, no wait a minute, I just remembered. According to at least one Christian on these boards God is not bound by his own rules because, after all to whom does God have to justify his actions? Right, Glorfindel?
Simple. God does not have a belly-button. Nor did Adam and Eve. But their kids, and everyone else born after the Fall did/does. The belly-button is a lasting mark of man’s original sin.
Bad navel! Bad!
According to the tabloids, and according to horror stories from his fellow co-wrokers about his attitude, yes, Bryant Gumble indeed does have a penis.
He also has feet, apparently; for putting on his footstool:
I have difficulty taking biblical evidence of God’s gender as evidence. I’ve read versions of Gen. that don’t say man was created “in my image” but “in our image” which could indicate that there are gods, not a God, as many cultures believed is a possiblity, or that it was simply badly translated. Also, it was writen by men, men whose accounts of things must have been considered terribly unreliable, given how many NT acounts of events are given muliple times. Men are falliable, and probably a lot more sexist than they are now (on a whole) so why wouldn’t they do whatever they could get away with to make men look superior to women?
No, I don’t take the bible’s word for it. But, I don’t think any female diety would have punished women with pain in labor and menstral cramps, even Hera wasn’t * that* catty, so God probably is male.
Religious schoolboy question:
“Could God make a penis so large that even he couldn’t get it up?”
Gripin’ about the labor and the freakin’ cramps. Next thing we know you’ll be fussing 'cause you can’t pee standing up. Not easily, anyway.
Well, neener neener. 
Peace,
mangeorge
Is it easy? If it’s easy, why can some men do it their whole lives and still regularly miss the bowl? Maybe I can’t pee standing up, but I know, that since I’ve been out of diapers, I’ve never peed on the floor… 
Does God need to pee, though?
You got me there, elfkin. If He does, He probably misses the bowl.
Once, while I was stoned, and about three quarters of the way through the procedure, I noticed that something just didn’t sound right. Somebody had left the lid down. :o
They put a hinge on those things so that you can put the seat back up when you’re done.
Peace,
mangeorge
Ok, I peeked under his kilt.
Sure enough, he’s got one.
Peace,
mangeorge (Penis, that is.)
Well, he knocked up Mary. So yes, He must have a penis.
OTOH, Mary remained a virgin. So He must have a very small penis.