Do not doubt the Penis of God

The BBQ Pit
1

http://www.onemilliondads.com/CurrentIssue.asp

Here is a snip:

"Dannon Yogurt Backs Radical Feminists, Says God is a Woman

Dannon Yogurt has joined the battle to rewrite the Bible. In a new print ad, Dannon proudly boasts “100 Calories. 0% Fat. Proof that there is a God and she is a woman watching her figure.” (Woman’s Day, Sept. 1, 2002, page 17.) "

:rolleyes:

Personally, I find it hilarious that they are so certain that god even HAS a gender, let alone which one it is.

OpalCat
“because even gods need to pee”

2

I am switching from Yoplait to Dannon just to annoy these misogynists! :stuck_out_tongue:

3

Could God get an erection so large that even He could not …

Nope, I’m not going to go there. Carry on.

4

Didn’t Crunchy have a sig saying that manny said his (Crunchy’s) erection was God?

*inspired by me saying God was everywhere and everything was God, so Crunchy asked if that meant God was there when he…well, never mind, you kinda had to be there.

:wink:

5

Wow, that’s reminds me of the time my high school chaplain explained the Trinity as God the Mother, God the Sister, and God the Lesbian Lover. To which we can now add God the Dieter. Neat!

6

If god had a penis (or a vagina, for that matter) he/she would probably be too busy with the truly devine activity (fucking) to have created anything else. Or, presuming that the “creation” came first (accidental pun, I assure you), he/she, having discovered the devine activity, would be far too busy pursuing that activity thereafter to be concerned at all with mere mortals.

Conclusion: God is either nonexistent, dead, or too busy fucking for us to worry about. :smiley:

7

Oh come on, please do!!

This is one of those times I’m sooooooo glad I’m an atheist. If I were a theist having to contend with radical feminists (people who I try to avoid getting into any discussion with) over whether God had a gender and what it was…well, I’d probably kill myself and ask God him/her-self just to avoid the agony.

(Allright, I didn’t want to say this but…if God’s a woman, do we really want to know where that river of blood in Exodus came from?)

8

[sup]Special Guest Poster:[/sup]

*Hi. God here. Guess what? I’m God. I don’t give a shit how fat I am. What? I’m going to have a stroke? I’m going to have a heart attack? I’m God. I’m not going to have a fucking stroke.

I won’t be attractive? I won’t be able to get laid? I’M GOD!!! Think about.

Oh and stop killing each other. That sucks.*

9

I’m God. I don’t have to eat any fucking yogurt. :stuck_out_tongue:

10

I am so fucking juvenile :slight_smile:

RexDart, don’t lie. You did want to post that. It was too funny not to.

11

No you’re not. I’M God!!!

12

Say’s who? I didn’t vote for you. :slight_smile:

13

You don’t VOTE for God!

14

Takes the bait…

Well, how do you become God, then?

15

Yeah, God is appointed by Parliament. Duh.

16

Piers Anthony would disagree with you.

17

I think God derives from a madate from the masses

18

I think God derives from a mandate from the masses

19

Wouldn’t the penis of God be the same thing as the penis of Jesus?

Didn’t they have a Vatican council about this?

20

If god had a penis (or a vagina, for that matter) he/she would probably be too busy with the truly devine activity (fucking) to have created anything else. Or, presuming that the “creation” came first (accidental pun, I assure you), he/she,having discovered the devine activity, would be far too busy pursuing that activity thereafter to be concerned at all with mere mortals.

But who would he/she fuck? I can’t possibly imagine that mere mortals would be satisfying enough to a god…