But if the watery, sword dispencing tart was instead on top of the water in the pond, would that work?
Worked for Zeus.
To be serious for a moment, there are references to God in a feminine context in the Old Testament. At least one of the immortals of Taoism is a woman. There are female incarnations of the Supreme Being in Hindu tradition, etc. The precedent of God being female is set.
Biologically speaking, gender’s a relative thing. In order that an individual of a species be male, there must be a female individual of that species. So if God’s male or female, there’s another God out there.
…and is She pissed!
Have you seen Gaia? Man, she’s hot. How her hips are just a little wider around the equator than all those flashy, full of themselves, supermodel gas planets. Lord that’s sexy, the baby got back. Also, who who wouldn’t be turned on by the Himalayas. Gaia’s got a rack. If I was an all powerfull being I know I’d want a piece of her.
Of course, that could be Freudian.
Have you seen Gaia? Man, she’s hot. How her hips are just a little wider around the equator than all those flashy, full of themselves, supermodel gas planets. Lord that’s sexy, the baby got back. Also, who who wouldn’t be turned on by the Himalayas? Gaia’s got a killer rack. If I was an all powerfull being I know I’d want a piece of her.
Of course, that could be Freudian.
Yeah, well I’m God, and I got kinda sick of hearing that old canard about me making a rock so big I couldn’t move it…so I made a big rock just to find out. I mean, it’s one, big, huge motherfucking rock. And y’know what? Sure enough…I can’t move that sumbitch.
The funny thing is, I made it out of dark matter, and it’s really fucking with the physicists’ heads. They can’t figure out where all the missing mass of the universe is. Hee hee.
So, y’all can knock it off with the rock conundrums or I might try to, oh, see if I can fart so loud I deafen myself. Or something.
Not exactly. You’re forgetting the concept of the Trinity: Three of similar but not identical substance. This clearly means that God has a three-pronged yang, rather like a divine pitchfork, or, if female, has a three-holer, rather like a… well, never mind. I abhor scatological references.
True! True! Therefore, there are two divine beings, one male and one female, each with triple genitals and, wow, can they screw! And the fundies talk about Rapture!
How’s that for a mental picture? 
But who would he/she fuck? I can’t possibly imagine that mere mortals would be satisfying enough to a god…
Excise that final line in the previous post. Cut and paste runs rampant…
I find it hilarious that someone who recently started a pit thread about religious people being offended at religious jokes, is now starting a pit thread about a particular religious joke 
Sorry, couldn’t help it
God is a man.
My proof?
He made the universe. It’s infinite. You don’t get much bigger than “infinite” (except for, of course, “infinity+1”). Clearly, He’s trying to compensate for something.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by monica *
“But who would he/she fuck?”
There was that Egyptian god whatshisface who was always depicted fellating himself. IMHO mutch preferable to the more rigid and inflexible Judaic/Christian/Islamic God. Didn’t go much further than Egypt though, I understand he didn’t get out of the house much.
Mensch
Hey, ** Satyagrahi**, that quote about the “devine activity” was monica’s quote of me. Credit where credit is due, ya know? Although on Judgment Day (if there is one) I don’t suppose the credit thing will be an issue.
You called my godly wang?
(Read the sig.)
If two of the trinity ganged up, could they make a rock so big that the third couldn’t move it?
I’m a feminist. I’m a Christian. I have to scrape my brains off the walls of my apartment now.
Sheeeesh! What gender is God? What color is love? The two are completely irrelevant to this monotheist (other religions may vary). Come to think of it, the first question could be fun over in GD. Right. An ad agency puts out a truly dumb ad. :rolleyes: People point out that it’s a truly dumb ad. All of a sudden radical feminists are taking over the country. Apparently the atheists needed a break. (yet another :rolleyes:). So, who’s our relief?
CJ
That and I need to re-take the course on taming the hamsters.
As a friend and I discussed on Friday (I am still in Friday mode) we both agree that God is not man nor woman which makes this tongue in cheek and attacking by onemilliondads.com even more ludicrious.
To quote me after a lengthy discussion of this with my best friend she asked “why can’t people get along?”
Seems very appropriate given this topic.
Is God cotton candy?
Yes, He is. And he is watermelon flavored.
I know what you’re saying. “Cotton candy doesn’t come in watermelon”. You have to remember, He comes in any flavor he wants to.