I’m a straight guy who’s been interested in cooking since a relatively young age. Around 16, I started cooking Chinese food, and I’ve never looked back. But according to the cultural stereotype in the US (and Japan: I lived there 8 years and my ex-wife is Japanese–and for that matter, pretty much any country, right?!), women are the main cooks of the household and men are les incompetents in the kitchen. But maybe they can grill.
I find this stereotype funny because I have always been the better cook in any of my relationships! The one exception is perhaps my Japanese ex-wife, who is quite competent. I also dated a woman from New Jersey who could make a mean chicken parm. Other than that, they’ve all been basically terrible cooks. That’s not just my opinion of their skills; none of them would claim she was any good at all at cooking.
So I haven’t experienced this exquisite female chefdom except in one-point-five cases. Have you? How are cooking roles determined in your relationship? And if you are in a gay relationship, I’m curious how cooking roles are determined (perhaps it’s just random, but let’s have some data!).
You left out a few options, starting with:
I’m the only person in my relationship.
The man thinks he is the better cook, while the woman thinks she is the better cook.
Vice versa of the previous answer.
The man. No matter who my wife married that would have been true in her relationship. The cultural stereotype in this country has changed a lot in my lifetime. It’s kind of old fashioned to think of women as the primary cooks in a family any more. However, only men can grill and barbecue. I don’t know why, some weird genetic thing I guess.
I’m male and most definitely the cook in my marriage, I would estimate I do ~90% of the cooking in the house. My wife will freely admit she’s not good at cooking meat, but she is a hell of a baker.
I’ve always found it interesting that while that stereotype persists, the ranks of professional chefs, certainly celebrity and fine dining ones, are heavily tilted to males.
Ya know, never really thought about the stereotype before, Grandpa was the grill master sure, but he also was the soup maker, chili maker, grilled cheese maker, meat cooker, pickler, jams and jelly maker, etc. Grandma was the baker, fry cook of the tortillas, and mmmmmm fried bread dough plus everything Grandpa cooked except certain meats grilled cheese and any barbequed stuff. I dunno, they just sorta shared cooking duties for the most part. My dad doesn’t grill but makes a helluva fried rice. I refuse to cook anymore since as a former professional cook, it was just assumed I would “be happy to do it”
My wife and I can both cook. I enjoy it more, and I’m more adventurous in cooking a variety of dishes in a variety of styles, so I cook about 75% of the time.
I do 95% of the family cooking. My wife has learned a few things to prepare when she must handle it, but seems to apologize a lot while serving
I have no clue or training about actual cooking, but can get a protein/veg/starch meal on the table in 30 minutes that my kids enjoy.
In our house, it is not just a question of “can you cook” but also “can you crank out food efficiently”? My project manager mindset kicks into gear ;).
Both female and my wife can’t cook to save her life. It was problematic years ago when I was sick of doing all the cooking, but since she no longer eats dinner it’s gotten easier.
Women have traditionally done the lion’s share of cooking in families because they were the traditional home maker, and they are still more often the person who does the heavy lifting in childcare - which includes cooking the family dinner. In my experience, men like doing the fancy stuff, but aren’t so interested in the daily grind of funnelling chicken nuggets into the kids.
In my home - we are a lesbian couple - cooking is pretty much 50/50. We both love cooking, and do our share - some weeks one might do more than another purely due to work pressures, or there are certain dishes each of us do better (I’m better at pasta, indian food and roasts, she’s better at fish and complex salads), but otherwise, we take it in turns, each cooking every other night.
I grew up cooking and working in various restaurants, and I really enjoy cooking. My wife does not. She will occasionally volunteer to cook, and she has a few recipes that she does well, but it is a seldom thing.
It varies. I’ll feel like cooking for a while and will be the chef. Other times she cooks. When neither feels like cooking we eat out or pull previously frozen soup/whatever from the freezer.
I’m a guy. These days, I do almost all of the meal planning and cooking. I work at home, so it’s easy for me to just log off at work and start cooking.
As far as who’s a better cook, I dunno. We’re probably both about even. Some things I do better, some things she does better. She actually likes cooking, though, while I view it as a chore. My wife always wants to make interesting, elaborate meals. I just want to crank out something quickly that will be reasonably good and that the kids will eat. We have a 4- and a 2-year-old. Standing at the stove for 90 minutes is just not really a good use of time.
My wife does most of the cooking in our house, I just don’t enjoy cooking very much. I’m in charge of the grill, but we only do that once a month or so. Once in a while I get a wild hair and want to try a new recipe, but if left to my own devices I tend to go for ready to eat foods.
It’s pretty much 50/50 when we’re together (we don’t live together). It just depends on the meal. Some things I cook, and some things she cooks. Not sure how we figured that out, but probably just: Hey, I want to try “X”, so I’ll cook “X”, and then “X” became that person’s meal to cook whenever we have it.
But grilling is all me. Man must grill!! (If there is a marinade, she makes it. I’m not really into marinades.)
