This is about clothes. Clothes your partner insists on wearing. Ugly clothes. Nerdy clothes. Clothes that should be retired, given away, maybe burned. You know. That one outfit. That one garment. I bet you know.
For me, it’s my boyfriend’s PLEATED KHAKI PANTS. Big, nasty Old Man Pants. With ELASTIC on the sides. They make him look big and fat and wrinkly on his lower half. He’s not any of that. They’re so big and he fastens them well above his waist and they are poufy in the front and baggy in the butt and generally an embarrassment. He has decent stuff, even nice normal un-pleated khaki pants, but he’s really into those BIG pants lately. He’s even lost like 30 pounds in the last four months so he has NO NEED to wear those pants. But he does.
Worse STILL, he recently bought an old cool sports car (not fancy but still cool) and he wore those pants while driving that car. I keep telling him the pants don’t go with the car and they totally spoil the experience and the elan and such. He does not listen. He wears the pants.
What clothing does your partner wear that you hate? Please describe it and stuff.
Well, I don’t have a partner, but if your partner’s pants are even half as bad as you describe they need to be shredded.
Blame a garburator accident. Blame and incident with some pinking shears. Blame an errant weed-wacker, but you really need to blame SOMETHING for the love of all that’s holy woman - SHRED THOSE PANTS!!!
Shit, throw the pants away and buy him a nice pair to replace them. Unless he is a hard to fit size, it’s easy to find nice, normal men’s khakis. No one should wear pleated pants…yuck. They are unflattering by nature.
My ex let me buy him clothes because he dressed like crap and did not know how to just dress “normal.” He didn’t know you need to think about the color of your shoes (not including sneakers) and the color of your shirt and pants. It was just horrible. I bought him a bunch of plain polos, sweaters, cool tshirts, nice jeans and khakis. And the man didn’t own a pair of shorts. And he had nice legs for a guy. It’s too hot in St. Louis to not own one pair of shorts.
It’s so EASY for the average guy to dress decently. I don’t get why a lot of guys can’t seem to do it. Unless you have an extreme aversion to “preppy” or “plain” clothes, a guy can just throw on a decent pair of jeans (not those horrible BLUE blue old man jeans, even Target has guys jeans in fashioniable washes) a polo and some sneakers. And men’s clothes are often more affordable than women’s clothes.
Yes, yes, YES, **alice ** and myskeptiscsight! The pants will disappear.
He does his laundry at my place, so I will get the PANTS and destroy them. Toss them in the dumpster, most likely, while he is relaxing and drinking a cold Diet Pepsi. I’ll tell him I don’t know where they went and he will have to live with that. I feel bad, actually, thinking that I should really do that, but I must. You all have confirmed it. It would be better for all of us. Now. Now I have only to wait until Monday night…
Not a partner, my brother: denim shorts.
Males should never, never, never, never, never wear denim shorts. There are absolutely no exceptions. (Ok, one exception - if you’re gay, you can wear denim cut-offs at the gay pride parade. But that is IT. NO ONE ELSE, NO WHERE ELSE. EVER.)
Oh sweet mother, you just reminded me of the nasty, beat up, torn, horrific sneakers of doom. These things are beyond needing to be thrown out. Yet they seem to be his favorite pair.
Not only are they nasty to look at–they smell worse. He wears them without socks, so you can imagine the horror they produce. They have an intense stench that can funk up a whole room. It’s like something died in those sneakers. I think you could find bits of Jimmy Hoffa in those things. My dogs (who love to roll in filth and eat all kinds of foul things when given the opportunity) don’t want anything to do with those sneakers.
Maybe it’s just me, but isn’t it sort of mean to throw out or ruin the pants? It’s ok to not like what your man wears, and to suggest something better, but I’d feel like I was crossing a line into mean and controlling territory if I started acting like I had the right to dictate my boyfriend’s clothing choices. He doesn’t tell me what to wear, and I’m glad. I can’t imagine how mad I’d be if he threw out my favorite sweater because he didn’t like it.
That said, I’m tempted to destroy the hiking boots he wears as his everyday shoes. Except that would be mean. Plus he’d just replace them with a new, identical pair anyway.
I’d say those nasty smelling shoes that MaddyStrut mentions need to be “sanitized”. I’d refuse to let him into my house, or go anywhere with him if he was wearing such foul odiferous things. Tell him that you cannot stomach being in the same room as those things any more, and won’t go anywhere with them, or allow them into your home. Maybe he’ll realize how horrible they are if you have him leave them on your porch, wash his feet while inside, and an hour or so later have him smell them? Maybe he’s acclimated to the smell and doesn’t realize?
No, no, Antigen, you must understand! I’m not a control freak. (I can barely contol myself without medication.) Look, it would be a Mercy To All of Us if the Pants were destroyed. Believe me, he will understand and thank me in the end when he comes to his senses. See, I had a pair of heinous workout pants years ago. They were pink and purple paisely and had a HUGE hole in the crotch and were very, very bad. My boyfriend hated them a lot. I gave them to him for Christmas in a nicely wrapped box. He burned them in my parents’ fireplace that Christmas Eve. It was cleansing for all of us. So really, this is a good thing. He’ll know from whence I’m coming with this. Maybe not at first, but we must all suffer for fashion.
What in the world is wrong with pleats? Granted, most of my pants are flat fronted, but pleated pants are most certainly not the fashion abomination you seem to think they are. Are we using the same definition of the word here?
Go to Barney’s. Mark Shale, Bergdorf Goodman, Bloomingdale’s, etc. and you will find that pleats, in and of themselves, are not out of fashion. Granted, they aren’t as pronounced as they were in years past, but still…
Oh, man. By best friend’s brother is a Relic From the Early Seventies and VERY straight. Southern redneck dude. He wears those really short cutoff denim shorts to work (I guess he can where he works). Apparently, according to my friend, some ladies where he worked complained about how short his shorts were. Said he in response, “Say, what are they doin’ lookin’ at my legs anyway?”
That crazy Kenny and his short shorts. I shudder to think what he looks like.
Also… Kenny went to a flea market and got this baseball cap with the name of some Italian opera singer on it. He wore it with gusto as he thought the guy was a Nascar racer. He had no idea that it was an OPERA singer. Now y’all tell me if he didn’t look gay or not. Heh. Good ole Kenny.
