What are your sartorial no-nos?

I won’t wear shorts unless indoors or about to go for a swim at the beach. I hate the look of them on others, especially pleasantly plump folk like myself and I think I look ridiculous in them.

I think waist coats should only be worn by clowns.

I think people should only wear baseball caps if they’re playing baseball. They should at least take them off inside.

Word up on the baseball caps.

Black socks, sandals, and a speedo does not good beachwear make. It doesn’t make you look like a sophisticated European. It makes you look like a dork.

For women, pleated slacks are fashion death. Take those off at once.

Agreed, except for the “for women” part. They are bad on everyone.

I don’t like flipflops, on me or anyone else. Unless we’re at the pool or the beach.

Flip-flops anywhere other than poolside or at the beach. God, how I hate them. I hate the suck–drag–flop sound they make, and I think the human foot is ugly and should be covered. I don’t want to deny anyone the right to wear flip-flops; I don’t think flip-flop wearers should be discriminated against; I just think they’re irredeemably tacky.

ETA: Dung Beetle beat me to it.

Point well-taken. They are an equal-opportunity fashion crime.

As for other women’s fashions, I’m really glad that shoulder pads went the way of the dodo.

I meant what you won’t wear, not what you don’t like on others. I only mentioned others to illustrate my reasons. :slight_smile:

Ah. That’s very different.

Black socks, sandals, and a speedo.

Pleated slacks.

Backwards baseball cap. (For that matter, a baseball cap anywhere but the beach.)

Anything LL Bean.

Pink sneakers.

Bikini. And we should all be thankful!

Oh, sorry.

I will not wear blue dress pants or blue suits. I’ll wear blue jeans, or blue shirts with tan pants, but for some reason I just do not like blue dress pants or blue suits. I’m not sure why.

In general, I couldn’t care less what other people are wearing, but I’ll throw one opinion out there. Ladies: Shirts and dresses with empire waists do not make you look sexy, they make you look pregnant. All of them. Always. Up to and including that adorable little green number you picked up last week. Really, I promise; I have no reason to be lying to you about this.

I mean, if that’s what you’re going for, then great. Like I said, I don’t much care how others dress. On behalf of straight men, though, I just didn’t want you getting the wrong idea about the impression* we get when you wear those things.

It’s been said before by greater and straighter than me and it obviously still hasn’t taken, but I thought it was worth another shot.

*Pregnant.

I avoid black shirts and blouses if at all possible. Nothing says “ask me about my long illness” like me with black near my face.

tank tops
flip-flops
sneakers/tennis shoes, unless I’m exercising/running/playing sport
tighty whiteys
baggy jeans
man-pris, or those really long and baggy shorts
cargo pants/shorts
hats in the winter, unless I’m skiing (they f-up my hair)
a shirt that color matches the pants- I don’t like looking monochromatic
a bowtie, unless it’s part of a tux
turtlenecks, unless (again) I’m skiing
jewelry, except my wedding ring
I generally eschew any clothing that has the maker’s brand name emblazoned across it (Abercrombie, Polo, etc. Why advertise for them?)
Man, I didn’t realize I had so many rules.

I will not show my knees. I’ve actually been asked if it’s for religious reasons, as I never, ever, let my knees show the light of day, even though apparently as a very short person long skirts should make me look dumpy. I just feel naked wearing skirts shorter than that, or shorts instead of capris. And sitting down in short skirts is impossible.

I was at a nice upscale restaurant a few years ago when two of my dinner companions complained about a man at a nearby table wearing a bluetooth headset all throughout dinner. They thought it was rude… and it is, but he was also wearing a baseball cap through his entire dinner.

So the moral of the story is, don’t complain about people’s newfangled 2.4 ghz rude accessories when you can complain about their good old fashioned baseball cap rude accessories.

-Leisure suits: what are you-a refugee from 1975 or so?
-sandals with socks…baaad1
-spandex 9especially for the overweight)

  • ripped jeans

I don’t wear black anything. It’s such a freaking boring color and it doesn’t look particularly good with anything. Ok, the only thing it looks especially good with is white, as in black tie. I’ve never understood why people insist it goes with everything. It only “goes with everything” in the sense that you probably will look totally unremarkable, which is an unfortunately low bar.

I avoid:

white pants, or really any white “bottom” garments.
White or red tops; both make me look sallow
shorts
socks in general and if I have to wear them, no socks darker than my shoes.
traditional bathing suits–I switched to surf shirt and bike-short-type swimming shorts

Shoes must be the same or darker than the pants and socks I have on. Exceptions may be made for shoes with jeans.