What are your sartorial no-nos?

I can’t stand the sight of men in shorts so it’s a good thing I live in the Northeast where I only have to suffer thru it about 3 months a year:

http://zen-denizen.blogspot.com/2008/09/september-sartorial-satisfaction.html

I must disagree.

I agree with these (and several of the others, too, but most of those are just good taste).

I also have a nice pair of spectator shoes, but that’s more of a spring/summer look, so they’re in the closet until next year (and never with jeans).

leather pants - no man, ever, should wear leather pants. Ever. End of story.

I’m 59-y-o female. I DESPISE “dressing up.” I have wardrobe dysfunction. Cannot tolerate wearing dresses. Anything that makes me look “sexy” scares me, even though I enjoy sexual activity, when I can get it.

My family ALWAYS hated me, and told me so, whatever I wore.

This reply probably should go into the “mini-rants” …

I will wear shorts, if pressed, but I feel terribly awkward in them. For some reason, swimming trunks I’m fine with, just not shorts. I also won’t wear a backpack with a jacket - coat, yes, jacket (or trenchcoat) no.

I don’t understand the skimpy bikini phenomenon. Will you ever see me wearing only underwear around in public? No. I fail to see how a skimpy bikini is really any different. I don’t want to show that much of any body in public, and it doesn’t matter where I am, beach or otherwise.

Also, no shirts with collars. For some reason I just can’t stand the look on myself. Works fine for other people, but whenever I try a collared shirt on I always think I look frumpy and boring.

Oh, and no jeans, either. Hate how heavy and difficult they are to move in.

No sweaters whatsoever.

Tie with jeans. If I’m somewhere where jeans are acceptable then that means a tie is unnecessary, so why wear one?

I’m another one for not showing knees in a dress or skirt. I will wear shorts only when it’s super hot. My pasty-white legs are a crime against humanity. And no, I will NOT wear pantyhose with shorts.

Not that I wear these, but I despise:

  • any pants, shorts, or skirts that show underwear.
  • tank tops. They’re a privilege, not a right. Think Aretha Franklin in spaghetti straps. 'nuff said.
  • Ugg boots (women). Only because I see a hundred or so people wearing them every day. ENOUGH ALREADY!!
  • any women’s top that shows bra straps (tacky tacky tacky) or bellybuttons. I don’t care if you’ve got a six-pack. I don’t need to see it.

Same here–plus they cover my neck and make it look short and fat. OK, it is short and fat, but a jewel collar or v-neck is much better.

Oh, man, I live in shorts and T-shirts during the summer when I’m not at work.

My rules: No dark socks with shorts or sneakers, ever. No brown shoes with a blue suit. No wifebeaters, or undershirts of any kind, without something over it. The leather of my watchband, belt and business shoes must match, all either black or brown. Of the suit, shirt and tie I’m wearing, only one at a time will be striped. Conversely, if my suit is of a solid color, either my shirt or my tie will be patterned or striped. I’ll wear sandals only to the beach, the pool or to take the trash out, but I just don’t like 'em. Baseball caps are OK, as are just about any other hats within reason, but not indoors (can’t believe how many guys I see keeping their baseball caps on while they eat at restaurants!). When I’m in a suit or jacket and tie, my socks will match my pants as closely as possible (gray socks with gray pants, blue with blue, etc.). And no political pins, ever, when I’m in court.

Black socks with shorts and sandals/athlethic shoes. Dear goddess that just looks horrible.

[ul]
[li]No capris for me. I’m too short[/li][li]The only hat I can wear is a baseball cap. I look weird in hats.[/li][li]No empire waist. As mentioned previously, it makes everyone look preggers.[/li][li]I’ll wear tights or thigh highs, but no “pantyhose”[/li][/ul]

I don’t wear shorts either. I wear a long skirt over my bikini if I’m going to the beach.

No turtlenecks or dangly earrings, both for the same reason. I think I have a small head and those things make it look smaller.

I like the look of leggings and think they would be comfortable and appropriate under long sweaters or short skirts, but I have muscular thighs and I know they would look enormous in them.

I have a religiously restricted wardrobe, but aside from that stuff:

No all-black. I live in New York City, but I think it looks quite drab. On the rare occasion when I wear a no-color outfit (say, black sweater and grey skirt), I always end up in a bright hat or headscarf, and before I got married (ie before I covered my hair, thus before gaining a major daily accessory), I didn’t wear no-color outfits ever.

I never wear brown. At this point, I don’t even have a reason why (I didn’t like it when I was younger), I just don’t do it.

No empire-waist garments, which means I haven’t been able to buy many tops the last few years. I think they make everybody look pregnant, although I’ll admit they look somewhat less ugly over pants (which I don’t wear for religious reasons). This is a deep-seated bias - I can remember refusing to wear a lovely little empire-waist dress my parents’ friends gave me for my fifth birthday, because I insisted that it made me look pregnant.

No socks/stockings under sandals. Ick.

I can’t wear anything tucked in, because I’m so short-waisted that it makes me resemble Urkel.

Green, navy, and dark purple make me look very ill.

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! And yet I see it all the time in the summer.

I never, ever, ever wear white pants or shorts. Never.

In fact, I rarely wear light-colored pants or shorts and, if I do, my top should be lighter than my pants.

It’s all in the service of trying to make my fat ass look less like a fat ass.

Seeing as how the only time I wear a hat is if I didn’t have a chance to wash/groom my hair, cap may be better than what lies beneath.

White shoes.
Baseball caps.
T-shirts advertising something.