Doggone It, Don't Wear Those!

In My Humble Opinion
41

[QUOTE=Creaky]
Oh, man. By best friend’s brother is a Relic From the Early Seventies and VERY straight. Southern redneck dude. He wears those really short cutoff denim shorts to work (I guess he can where he works).
[/QUOTE]

I’m a little younger than that, but I remember well the time before long billowy shorts for men became the norm. Even for working out it’s hard to find anything shorter than knee length, and shorts that long can be uncomfortable to work out in. To me it always seems like they trap a mass of warm air around my legs and waist.

42

[QUOTE=crazyjoe]
Don’t worry, didn’t you notice, most of the fashion requirements here have a caveat that if you’re a gay dude, you can go ahead and wear what you want.

Ok, maybe not the pleated elastic grandpa pants, but everything else – looks like you’re in the clear.
[/QUOTE]

People are often surprised to find out that I’m gay. I think it’s the clothes. Everyone expects gay guys to dress well. :slight_smile:

43

[QUOTE=bouv]
Any girl or woman who wears those Ugg boots is dead to me.
[/QUOTE]

They are OK in my book- in certain situations. Dressy situations are NOT one of them. They are very casual, or up in the snow.

Now, to me flip-flops (sorry ladies) are even more limited. Are you at the beach or coming into or out of a shwer area? If the answer is no, then there shoudl not be flip-flops on your feet.

pinkfreud- get your man some black Coolmax or silk briefs. Same style and size as his “tighty-whities” just different material and color. Wean him away.

44

[QUOTE=myskepticsight]
And I hope that I am not the only supporter of no-show socks when wearing shorts…and not wearing boots or high top shoes with shorts (boots DURING hiking and other such activities excluded). And ugh don’t wear “dress” shoes (oxfords, etc) with shorts - tacky! Sneakers or sandals only w/shorts.
[/QUOTE]

Could you tell my fiance that? Or could anyone other than me tell him that? He doesn’t understand why I hate the brown Rockport walking shoes that he insists on wearing with white socks and shorts. Argh!

45

[QUOTE=DrDeth]
pinkfreud- get your man some black Coolmax or silk briefs. Same style and size as his “tighty-whities” just different material and color. Wean him away.
[/QUOTE]
Sigh. I’ve tried both Coolmax and silk. He is stubbornly fixated on white cotton. Talk about your boring fetishes.

46

I must be a fashion train wreck, then, as I own two or three pairs of pleated khaki pants in various colors (light, dark, medium, desert) and I have, like, three pairs of denim shorts. Two blue and one off white. And I bought the shorts at Target. Lands End hems the pants for free as no one makes my length. Or, my “short” if you follow.

And I just recently got rid of a bunch of Tshirts. I had so many the drawer was hard to close. Of course, I kept the one with the most holes in it, it’s like a historical document, and got rid of the ones with only a few holes.

And, re the OP, if the pants don’t fit he needs new ones. Buy them for his birthday or whatever and misplace the old ones.

47

Insane, you say, my dear Excalibre, to destroy one’s partner’s clothes because they are “merely” unfashionable?

Indeed I say, nay, nay! As I live and breathe I shall not let that fine man’s sartorial screw-ups mar his otherwise comely appearance.

And for all of that, if it be truly insane, then I stand staunchly, proudly nutso! By God, sir, *somebody * must uphold Boyfriend Dressing Standards or what do we have, sir?

Anarchy, Citizen! That’s what.

48

Not a partner, but one of my best friends wears athletic (running) shoes almost all the time. I think the only time I’ve seen him wear another type of shoe is when he is in his work clothes (slacks, dress shirt, tie, and dress shoes).

He turns 50 this month, and he’s not in any way shape or form athletic or a jock. It just looks wrong (to me).

On the other hand, if he posted in this thread, he might have a few words about my “look.”

To each his own.

49

[QUOTE=pinkfreud]
I wish I could get my husband out of his tighty-whities.

This man has been wearing the same kind of underwear since he was a kid: white cotton Jockey briefs. I’ve tried buying him sexy undies, and he says that nothing is as comfortable as the old standby. I feel kinda guilty for wanting him to sacrifice comfort for sexiness.
[/QUOTE]

Can you at least get him into a different colored pair? I used to only like boxers on my men until I met my current SO. He rocks the navy blue and black briefs, I’m telling you. Though I still prefer boxers, it’s a nice compromise. He gets wang support, and I don’t feel like he’s five years old. :smiley:

50

[QUOTE=pinkfreud]
I wish I could get my husband out of his tighty-whities./QUOTE]

Hey, at least he wears underwear. Mine can’t be bothered. :rolleyes:

But I’m used to that now. What drives me batshit is his insistence on wearing the one pair of khaki pants (of the 5 or 6 pair in his closet) that are too short. Gah!! Plus, he has no waist (he doesn’t even unzip/button his pants to put them on/take them off), so he’s constantly pulling the damn things up again, which temporarily brings them WAAAAY up above his ankles. Then they fall back down to almost long enough . . . and then he pulls 'em up again.

51

Uh, oh. I see that **pinkfreud ** mentioned tighty-whities and **kevja ** mentioned sneakers worn with almost everything.

My boyfriend is guilty of those offenses as well. There may be more amiss at home than I first thought.

Dear, God, I must steel myself for the task ahead.

52

[QUOTE=Creaky]
Uh, oh. I see that **pinkfreud ** mentioned tighty-whities and **kevja ** mentioned sneakers worn with almost everything.
[/QUOTE]

See, personally I kinda think that tighty-whities are hot. Like HOT!

I realize this makes me a freak.

53

As for long sleeves in summertime, perhaps I should elaborate…
The person in question is my husband, so I know that there’s no skin issues there, at least not yet. If this were his reasoning, I would have no choice but to go along with it, but it isn’t. He has no issue with getting sunburned or anything like that. In fact, when we go out in the sun, half the time I have to beat him over the head with the sunblock before he’ll remember to put some on.
I don’t even notice it on other people. Really. It doesn’t grate on me unless it’s him doing it.
The long sleeves I’m talking about are on those really thick t-shirts. The plain ones. He has button down shirts and all kinds of others, but in summertime, these ones bug me. Good thing cold weather is on its way.

And, “Testicular Elbow Skin”?! <snerk> Band Name!! :smiley:

54

Must say, if indeed the pants are 30 lbs. too large and elastic-waisted, they need replacement. Give him new pants and tell him in no uncertain terms the old ones are ugly and make him look derelict. Pay off some local coeds to talk about “that old guy in the old-guy pants, eeewwww” where he can’t help but overhear…

OTOH whether one wears pleated khakis – IF they fit right – or some sort of visible athletic socks when wearing athletic shoes, or briefs rather than boxers, that should be entirely up to the wearer (but really, change to at least colored briefs if it will please the other party). Oddly, I like flat-fronts but there’s this lady who for some reason is nuts about pleats… quite the quandary.

One of the perks of turning 45 was realizing I can now ignore “fashion” with impunity as long as I dress soberly.

55

Maybe he feels an extra 30 lbs lighter in the sad pants. I would confront him on the subject. Dispose of them together.

OMG…WITH the short short cut offs. The mental picture is disturbing. Kenny is not the crowning bulb on the Christmas tree is he?
I’m puzzled with the hat though. How does baseball meet opera?

56

[QUOTE=alice_in_wonderland]
See, personally I kinda think that tighty-whities are hot. Like HOT!

I realize this makes me a freak.
[/QUOTE]

I dunno, they are hot on the outside of the Calvin Klein box…but then only sorta.

These are close to briefs but you’d never catch a 5 year old in the same pair of underwear.

I probably sound like a super bitch snob on these fashion threads. I am not a fasionista. But I am aware of most fashion faux-pas and realize WHY they are faux-pas. Clothes that don’t fit right = bad. Reinforced that rule by watching What Not to Wear (and damn they do really make everyone that’s on their show look better). Clothes you shoula stopped wearing after elementary school = bad, clothes inappropriate for occasion = often bad.

57

myskepticsight is right - clothes that don’t fit right or are inappropriate shouldn’t be worn!

Interesting sidenote: I read the first page of this thread the other night and took the boyfriend to Grace Bros. to get a suit for a formal at the end of the year. When we were sorting out pants, the salesgirl said ‘Don’t worry, I’ll get flat front pants for him - because he’s so slim, the pleats make him look puffy.’

So yeah, if CreakySO is a fairly slender man, he is going to have a poofy front and butt thing going on. If he can look better, make it so.

My own hairtear comes from my father (the boyfriend is rather adept at dressing himself…). He is also colour blind. As a rather large man (6’4’’ with shoulders like a linebacker), he has trouble finding trackies etc. in his size. So my mother made him some funky ones; they’ve got a black and white diamond pattern with some red and yellow thrown in there. But he wears them with this green jumper with a big red panel and a big yellow panel… he looks like an optical illusion!

Then there’s the polar fleece jumper…mum made him a jumper that is made of the cheap polar fleece. It’s gold with an odd carpet-like pattern and it’s got a zip that goes down to his sternum. He’ll wear it with shorts…and no shirt! Mohair vest anyone??

We had a good one the other night. We went to have dinner with my boyfriend’s family and I told Dad to put on a nice dress shirt, rather than his logoed polo shirt. I picked one out for him and he put it on. Then he went for the sneakers. I said “You’re not going to wear those are you?”

He pointed at my brother and said “He is!”

“He’s fourteen!” I said.

“And those are the only shoes he has,” said my mother. Dad put on some nice loafers :D.

58

[QUOTE=Schlep]
I’m puzzled with the hat though. How does baseball meet opera?
[/QUOTE]

Kenny is a sweet dude but not too with it. However he likes what he likes and at some level I think enjoys annoying the rest of us with his fashion choices.

The hat thing had my friend and me laughing our asses off. I asked her the same question about the baseball hat and opera pastiche, but she said she had no idea as the original owner of the hat was not the one who sold it at the flea market. I’ll get the name of the singer from her and maybe we can find out how this happened by looking it up on the internet. Maybe the opera singer guy has a website that sells t-shirts and coffee mugs and stuff with his picture on it, too.

Just goes to show you what treasure troves flea markets can be for the wise shopper.

59

[QUOTE=alice_in_wonderland]
See, personally I kinda think that tighty-whities are hot. Like HOT!

I realize this makes me a freak.
[/QUOTE]

Well, okay, I have to admit that when my boyfriend is folding his tighty-whities regulation Navy-style as he takes his laundry out of the dryer and puts it in his Navy ditty bag thingie, I find *that * sexy. Hey, I love sailors, even former ones! I just wish certain sailors had cooler skivvies.

60

For many years, my boyfriend would wear high-tops with pants which were too short. I introduced him to the marvel that is leg measurement and now he’s capapble of buying pants which actually fit his legs. I’m not even sure how I got him to stop wearing high-tops, but he did. Other than that, the only thing about him that gets me is the facial hair. His beard is very coarse and is a pain in the ass to shave so he will sometimes go a week without shaving. Sometimes, scruff can be attractive. Sometimes, it looks sloppy. It all depends on how it grows. On my boyfriend, it looks sloppy but I know shaving is a pain for him so I don’t nag him. Besides, when I don’t feel like shaving my legs, he kindly refrains from saying anything.

My step-dad though, oh my lord, the only word I can come up with to describe the way he dresses is - ugh. Each item from his summer wardrobe is icky in it’s own right but the combination is just ugh.

His summer attire generally consists of (from bottom to top)

  1. plain white sneakers. Not fashionable ones. plain, white, clunky, 80’s looking.
  2. plain white tube socks, pulled up to mid shin.
  3. shorts, I don’t even know how old. They remind me of the opening from Three’s Company. John Ritter is wearing them as they walk along the beach. Very short, usually with some sort of white trim, sometimes with a slit up the side, usually worn pulled up above the belly button.
  4. A fanny pack, huge, overstuffed with camera stuff, wallet, keys, kitchen sink. Will sometimes use what looks like a photographer’s fannypack. This one is mammoth and has things hanging down the sides of his legs (the things are for holding film cans)
  5. A shortsleeved buttondown man blouse (tucked in to horrible shorts) and with the top two button open so a fountain of chest hair cascades over the top. Blouse will typically be a color which clashes with shorts.

In cooler weather, he will usually wear a sweatshirt - frequently from Cape Cod and usually with a very feminine looking design.

and, the clincher

comb-over

BUT, despite the fact that his clothing drives me crazy, he is my stepfather. I would never dream of saying anything to him about it because my mother raised me to keep comments like those to myself. He doesn’t care what other people think of his attire and neither does my mother so that’s all that matters. When they first got married (when I was 13), I was embarrassed to be out with him but I got over it very quickly because it’s the company of the person which is important, not how they look.

As for clothes which would be better off thrown away, my boyfriend and I have an agreement. If the clothes have some sort of special history (like his George Carlin shirst), then they are safe. Otherwise, if they fail the rip test, they’re gone.
To conduct the rip test, hold garment in one hand. If there’s a worn spot, hook a finger from the other hand on it and tug. If they rip, they’re gone. If not, the worn spot is not too far gone and they can be kept. If they don’t have any holes, just pull with both hands. If the item is old enough and the seams are weakening, it can be a very good way to get rid of something which just looks a bit old but not actually ratty. My boyfriend and I now conduct our own rip tests because watching it happen enough will eventually convince even the most thickheaded person that the item was past it’s prime and should not be worn ever again.